Today is the third Monday in January, thus, according to British psychologist Cliff Arnall, it is the most depressing day of the year. Something about weather plus holiday debts plus failed New Year’s resolutions makes it such.

Whatever his formula is, it seems fitting. I didn’t work at all last week and am in severe denial about being here today. I’m glad to be doing something, I guess…fortunately, as it’s only the third week of the year, I don’t yet feel badly about not accomplishing my non-resolution resolutions. Oh. They probably mean my ones from 2010…dammit. Actually, I did okay for myself last year – hey, things are lookin’ up…!

Anyway, if you’re looking for some ideas as to how to celebrate Blue Monday, as it is so-called, here are some ideas (per NYMag).

• Hold yourself as you rock back and forth in the shower with your clothes on.
• Type out a comprehensive list of all the goals you’ve failed to accomplish and all the dreams you’ll never fulfill.
• For dinner, put on a pair of ill-fitting sweatpants and a stained sweatshirt and eat cereal out of the box while you lie in bed.
• Watch Requiem for a Dream, followed by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, followed by Million Dollar Baby, followed by Shoah.

Neat. Those are some really great ideas. That first tip makes me think of the HORRIBLE and incredibly effective anti-meth commercials that I won’t even link to here on BBT because they are so disturbing; if you want to see them, goog “meth commercials Georgia.” But maybe wait until tomorrow – they will not help your Blue Monday blues. In that same vein (wordplay!), I wouldn’t watch Requiem for a Dream again for anything – even if my only other theatrical option was In the Land of Women, I wouldn’t watch it. Attn: Mr. Aronofsky, something is not quite right in that temple topper of yours…

I gotta say, just recognizing the bleakness of today in this manner has cheered me up significantly. Boo yah, Blue Monday.

And you can always just be glad you didn’t show up to an internationally televised awards program looking like Helena Bonham Carter did at the Golden Globes last night. I know she’s all ‘zany’ and ‘unique’ and whatever, but WTF is going on here. Be more normal, please, and, frankly, less terrifying.

from NYMag.com