Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘wine’

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Anything you can do, I can do almost or equally as well

Posted by AllieB on October 3, 2013

I’ve mastered the subways; I emerge from underground and know instinctively which way is N/S/E/W; you should see me weave thru the herds of cattle throngs of people on the sidewalk; I stuck out my tongue at a cab driver last week when he violated my right of way – let’s face it, y’all, I’m a New Yawker.

alexandra

a saavy city girl from the very beginning. that’s right – GIRL

While I think we can all agree these are noteworthy accomplishments, I’ve still yet to conquer my Everest: mastering the art/science/I think it might be magic of making dinner reservations. I spent a good chunk of time this week trying to find two restaurants that will impress my high-brow foodie friends, A and K, when they come to visit, and I’m getting the proverbial talk-to-the-hand at every place I’ve tried. I mean, this is like a month in advance! Evidently no one A) knows who I am or B) is aware that I manage a very dated and irrelevant restaurant guide to Atlanta. K&A, how do you feel about dining at 5:30? Actually, wait: who needs restaurants – we’re all talented chefs, why don’t we just cook our own meals!?! And let’s be sure not to have any wine at all.

what would happen if we did either of those things

what would happen if we did either of those things

Obviously, none of us would ever find ourselves in this sort of situation, and I want to be very clear that I am NOT condoning such behavior, but when I saw this I thought I’d better share: The Rules for Calling in Sick When You’re Actually Hungover. Upon completion I found myself wanting to seek out Captain Obvious so I could thank him for sharing such brand new information, but who am I to judge – let’s see what I’ve got:

1. Mind over matter. I am a strong believer in this: stop wallowing and get over it. I am lucky not to get the voms when I am overserved, so I’m sure this is easier said than done…but most of the time I feel like people are just being big babies.

2. Water: it’s not a myth. Water before, during, and after your ill-advised outing will help tremendously. And cold Vitamin Water Zero in the morning is like nectar of the gods.

3. A lot of people say exercise. Me, not so much

4. Oh. I was supposed write a list about how to call in sick when you’re hungover. I don’t really have any tips on that for I hath ne’er done such a thing.

5. Cpt Obvs: 1, BBT: 0

But seriously: drink water.

Ok, this is weird, right? Mediocre-hurdler-turned-bobsledding-hopeful, Lolo Jones, is trying to gain 60 lbs to make “bobsled weight.” Her daily diet includes two 1,365 protein shakes and FOUR double bacon cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. This approach seems flawed. She is literally going to turn into a double bacon cheeseburger…literally. Ehhh, Lolo makes me uncomf – she seems like she’s kind of nuts, if not a little bit delusional:

“My abs are still there,” she said. “I’m still cut, just super solid.”

Yeah, a super solid double bacon cheeseburger…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, G FORCE!!!!! Remember that time we went to Pakistan? Such adventures we’ve had…I love you!!

incognito in Lahore

incognito in Lahore. also, barefoot. ew

TGIT! Feels good to be back on sched…truthfully, I’ve had a whole week of Thursdays, but I’m glad everyone else is now on my same page.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

50 Shades of Do Not Want

Posted by AllieB on September 25, 2013

Hey guys! On the Effort Scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is standing up and 10 is walking to the kitchen, today’s post is about a 1.25.

50 Shades of Do Not Want: I’ve been over 50 Shades of Grey for awhile now, and, even though I obviously made my way thru all three books, I definitely judge anyone who is still reading them…similarly, I am an equal opportunity indulger of  any and all (red) wine, but even I turn my nose at this: 50 Shades of Grey Wine. There are two varietals: White Silk and Red Satin. That’s disgusting. Also, it’s going for $18/bottle! You could buy two non-embarrassing bottles of malbec for that; this just goes from bad to worse. BBT says: absolutely not.

IT Allie asks: have you downloaded the new iOS 7? Do it. Do it now. It’s like getting a whole new phone! And, given that I’ve actually downgraded to a plain old 4 from a 4S instead of upgrading (April 2k14..!), this is especially exciting for moi. I’ve had zero kinks – just back your shiz up. iTunes Radio is a great addition, and the camera has improved. Everyone also loves the Control Center; the pros abound. Me, I mostly just think it’s really pretty…

ios screen shot

background

I feel v exposed, like I just showed you my bank acct balance or undergarment drawer

-I’ve heard a few things about the fingerprint scanner on the new 5S: cats can do it, hackers figured out to hack it, and…this: You Can Also Unlock the iPhone 5 S with Your  Junk. Y’all, that’s gross.

-Closing out apps is not entirely intuitive – here’s how.

-Have you recently lost your 3rd Kindle? Just me? Well, fear not, because Amazon has released yet another Kindle, the Kindle Fire HDX, complete with a “mayday” button that links to live support 24/7/365, promising a 15 second or less response time. Dang. (Credit: Charlotte!)

Watching: My roommates love The Voice, so it looks like I love The Voice, too. I’m just not sure I’m emotionally equipped to handle it. They draw you in with heart-wrenching backstories of these people want nothing more than to share the gift of music, then they go out on stage, sing their hearts out, and….none of the judges pick them. Although, I do respect the judges for refraining from the pity pick – I’d have a team of losers halfway thru the first audition. I’m such a softie. Modern Family starts back tonight, SNL on Saturday, and T minus 103 hours, give or take, til Homeland Season 3 returns. (It took me almost as long to calculate that number just now)

SHE WOULD: Blake Lively is starting her own GOOPy-sounding company. Boobs Legsly, a moniker that isn’t even legit anymore since she’s morphed into this married class act, is even easier to hate than Gwyneth. Obviously I will read every issue, scoffing at the recipes but diligently saving all of them. It annoys me when people talk about “curating” a lifestyle. I can barely curate my salad from Chop’t*.

GFY, seriously

GFY, seriously

*I actually have a bombass salad order: Spinach, Kale, Fresh Jalapeños, Cucumber, Tomato, Pepper Jack Cheese, FreeBird Ancho Chile Chicken, Tri-Color Quinoa, Low-Fat Spa Greek Yogurt Tzatziki Dressing. I made it up all by myself. FACE.

Fall is here! I really am going to pump the brakes on talking about weather. Elmore Leonard, the renowned novelist who passed away recently, had a list of of 10 Rules for Good Writing:

  1.  Never open a book with weather.

I took a quick look at past BBT posts, and, if you replace “book” with “blog” I’m not doing so hot – same with the other nine. Whatever, I’m a slow learner. Like I was saying: fall is here! I want to swaddle myself in 1,000 sweaters (I like these: Dear Santa/if I budget better); fill my apartment with the aroma of spiced cider (the spiked cider looks good, pretty sure if I had a cabernet candle in my apt I’d have to have a bottle of cabernet open…oh wait); and jump in piles of leaves (don’t need sound and really only need to watch like first ten secs).

 

Happy Wednesday to all of you, and HAPPY FRIDAY to meeee! I’m headed south for a sure-to-be perfect wedding – can wait to see ya, EmilyB (cc: W Port)!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

I asked, and then I answered

Posted by AllieB on March 13, 2013

Name: BBT

Age: I am 29 years old. In sixty-seven days I am turning thirty, and in seventy days I am having a superfab thirtieth birthday party. Join me, won’t you? Actually, it’s going to be invite only…but maybe you’ll get one. K, we’ve got a lot to talk about this weekend.

Neighborhood: West Village

Occupation: I have a job at a company and I work in an office. I like it a lot, therefore I will not disclose the name so as not to link us in any way. I’m confident they’re not at all ashamed that I work here, but better safe than sorry…who knows – maybe I work for the CIA

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City is my favorite fictional New Yorker. I wish she was real.

miranda

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York? L’Artusi, Perilla, Pylos, the crab spring rolls in Grand Central Market…I have a new best meal like every day. Eating well is impossible to not do here

Do you give money to panhandlers? Sometimes and only when there’s music involved – like the guy who plays the accordion in the tunnel of the Bryant Park subway station during morning rush hour. And the guy on the 1 last week who was playing “Georgia On My Mind” on  his harmonica – I gave him $2.

What’s your drink? It might be easier to say what is not my drink, and that is white wine. It used to be just Chardonnay I didn’t like, but I’ve pretty much cut out all white varietals. White wine – blech

white wine

I can’t talk about wine without a shoutout to these two – see you soooon!

How often do you prepare your own meals? Eh. Once a week? I try to make something on Sunday that I can have during the week when I work late and don’t feel like making dinner…thus far I’ve accomplished this exactly zero times, so I guess when I said “once a week” just then I was fibbing. Sorry, Gaylen

What’s your favorite medication? Melatonin, maybe. Definitely not the sleeping aid my work friend gave me. Let me tell you something: when someone offers you no-name sleeping pill from Mexico and warns you to break it up into fourths, or smaller if possible, and to make sure you have a “loooooooong time” to sleep it off, it is in your best interest to decline. Trust me on this…me and Captain Obvious.

What’s hanging above your sofa? A big mirror. It is probably from West Elm

How much is too much to spend on a haircut? It depends where I am in my budget cycle. I almost walked into Great Clips the other day…Allie, NO!

When’s bedtime? Midnight

What do you hate most about living in New York? I am legitimately terrified that I’m either going to trip and fall into the path of an oncoming subway or that some loco person is going to push me.

Who is your mortal enemy? Taylor Swift; LeAnn Rimes; the dry cleaner on my corner that I swear closes when they see me coming…notably not mentioned: Hilary. Hilary is actually something of a hero today. (I’m not even going to make a remark about packing your ice skates because hell has frozen over – that’s how sincerely I mean it.)

When’s the last time you drove a car? Christmas. But I will this weekend!!! I miss driving.

#BuckheadBetty

BBiT: Buckhead Betty in Training. Hop in, y’all!

How has the Wall Street crash affected you? Yes

Where do you go to be alone? I think if you’re sans mobile device, you’re pretty much alone. I leave mine at home when I run errands sometimes. NYC can be very isolating even when you’re surrounded by peeps. I am reminded of my going away party when people kept playing “All By Myself” – kinda mean, looking back.

What makes someone a New Yorker? I don’t know the answer to this just yet…I do know this city is not for everyone, and I think you’d probably know pretty much instantly if wasn’t a good fit. Me – I knew right away that moving here was my best decision of all of my decisions. This doesn’t say much, given my history of decision-making, but it feels good to get at least one right.

The End. (Credit: NYMag 21 Questions)

Now for the other stuff:

This corgi saw himself in the mirror for the first time and I die:

mirror image_corgi

If you love Friends the TV show even half as much as I do, you will appreciate these two compilations of the best, most quotable quotes and scenes. (Part one, Part deux)

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs. This is very true and accurate and funny, and I already knew that dogs hate it when they’re asked them because Missy told me ages ago. She keeps me in the loop on stuff.

 “Where’s your bone?”

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs

I missed y’all last week, so I wanted to write early this week. I plan to return on Thursday. Until then!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

My picture is on Perez Hilton

Posted by AllieB on December 16, 2011

Earlier today I received an email from my friend Allison aka Pal that included a teeny confession she’d previously neglected to share:

So like a year ago I wrote a half-serious email to Perez Hilton about Allie’s blog and that he should read it and hire her. I was just bored at work. And I included a picture. And now we’re on Perez Hilton.

Say what? I go to the site – one I honestly do not frequent – and sure enough:

Here, see for yourself.

There are like 97 other pictures of the two of us I would have chosen over this one….but whatevs. That was a great night: Basil’s patio with ABE the V and Paxton…we sure did laugh a lot, and that was the first time I had the life-changing grits AND the first time I tried vinho verde – a very tasty Portuguese varietal that I later wrote about here…but I digress. We actually look pretty normal compared to the other people – the other people who took the time to send Perez a photo professing their undying love and affection. Good grief. I tried to post a comment with a link to BBT, but it hasn’t shown up yet…may as well try to get some new readers out of this HUMILIATION.

Oh, and after their incident in the dressing room at Barney’s Co-op the other weekend, Allison sent Sloane Crosley an FB message, and now they’re writing back and forth. And the mother of the girl who writes Suri’s Burn Book has been reading BBT this week, too. The writer lives in Atlanta, btw – maybe she and I should meet for coffee and talk about the blogosphere? I am whelmed.

**3.5 years later, BBT says: I really love this. And that’s a great pic! My 15 minutes came and went so quickly <overcome with nostalgia, sighs deeply, returns to day job>

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

It’s not a noodle, it is PASTA

Posted by AllieB on November 2, 2011

Prep your palettes, people, because this is gonna be a good one.

Last night, thanks to the charm and taste for truffles of Wonder Woman and Dani, I enjoyed one of the best meals of food I’ve ever had. Mirko is an Italian food chain that recently opened up in North Buckhead where Ribs, Etc used to be. I was a waitress at Ribs back in the day, btw, and was eager to check out the place that had taken over their landmark A-frame building.

Anyway, long story short, Sarah and Dani had been there a few times when Mirko, the owner and founder, took a liking to them. Sarah asked him, why is there nothing made with truffles on  your menu? Fair question – it’s an Italian restaurant, at least “truffle oil” should make an appearance, it seems. Mirko said, “Truffles! You want truffles! I make a delicious meal for you and your friends with all the truffles you want!” They held him to his promise, and, when I caught wind of the situation, immediately offered to attend. So, last night at 9:30, six girls and myself dined at the whim of Mirko.

To begin with: bread that, in the words of Laureo (who shall  henceforth be known as Lasso, you are welcome), “hugs your mouth,” wine, and an antipasti plate with two cheeses, two meats, artichokes, and olives. Delicious. I guess we didn’t get a picture of that.

Next: risotto with portabello mushrooms. Holy creamy goodness it was amazing. Then Mirko came around and shaved liberal amounts of truffles on top. I was trying to conserve stomach space and not eat the whole plate, but it was impossible because it was perfect.

Those big brown things are the truffles. Probably about $25 worth on that one plate.

He let us linger over that for awhile, then brought out the pasta: a cavatelli in cream sauce, and, again, lots of truffle shavings. When he served this, I asked him, “so what kind of noodle is this?” He looked at me like the lame, ignorant American I sounded like and responded, complete with vibrant Italian gesticulations, “IT IS NOT A NOODLE IT IS PASTA!” My b. Anyway, despite the thick cut of pasta and ostensibly heavy cream sauce, it wasn’t too rich at all. I could eat a bowl of this every day and be a happy girl. A fat girl with hardened arteries, but happy nevertheless.

At this point, my high-waisted jeans were starting to get a little distressed. Mirko could tell we needed a break, so he brought a new kind of wine (having consumed several bottles among us of some tasty Italian varietal) that he even decanted – oo la la. It was a 2003 Brunello di Montalcino, which, so far as I can tell, retails in stores for about $75, and probably twice that in restaurants. I think this goes without saying, but it was something of an improvement over my usual Trader Joe’s.

At this point Mirko and his friend, a young man who owns a dental practice in Roswell, had sat down with us. The Italians – they are very charming, no?

Next came the lamb. Regrettably, due to the carb fest I’d indulged in prior to this course, I was hardly able to eat a bite, but I could tell it was delish. There was a bed of quinoa with a potato cake made with peppers and onions then a lamb chop heavily seasoned in spices. The picture I have does not do it justice, so just use your imagination.

Last but most certainly not least: dessert. Dessert was a mixed berry tart served at a delightfully chilled temperature. Is this because it was frozen right before he served it? Mayhaps, but it was almost soothing after the hot, heavy previous courses. YUM.

Three hours after sitting down, the meal came to a close. I slept better last night than I have in ages: red wine + bread + pasta works better than any other sleep aid I’ve ever tried.

I should mention that not a single thing he served us, from start to finish, is on the menu at Mirko. So…if you go there, you will not be able to enjoy these delectable things. HOWEVER, it is still worth it. The prices are crazy reasonable – you can create your own pasta dish from 15 different kinds of pasta and 12 different sauces for under $11, and the fish and chicken entrees top out at $13. I’ve heard the Granny Apple and Sausage Ravioli is not to be missed. Oh, and their Italian house wine (always decent) is $20/liter. This place is kind of a no-brainer. What I can attest to is how perfectly everything was cooked and presented. Plus, he did a wonder on the gnarly interior that was once a rib joint.

Us + Mirko

So that happened. Should any other local restauranteurs be interested in making a delicious meal for me, I can promise you an all-star write-up like this one.

Top Chef: Texas starts tonight!!! I love Top Chef. Recent seasons have been decidedly lackluster, but I’ve got high hopes for this one.

Posted in Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

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