Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘wednesday’

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I read too much

Posted by AllieB on June 17, 2014

Sometimes, when I haven’t written in awhile and am trying to get in the swing of things, I like to make a random questionnaire and then I answer the questions. It’s like Me: As Asked & Told By Me. That said – here’s what we have today: random, fascinating facts about BBT; the World Cup is happening; I’m pretty sure O.J. is innocent; and we’re getting 250 NEW EMOJI. Welcome back.

Q: What is your favorite smell?

Mrs. Meyer’s Lavender scented anything and this candle by Prospector Co. Also, rubber cement.

Q: What are your vices?

I read too much. And that’s it – that is my only vice

Q: What do you consider to be the epitome of happiness?

This

viceroy maldives

BBT at the Viceroy Maldives in a diaper ‘kini sipping spicy margs. Not pictured: hot guy companion

Q: What’s your favorite childhood memory?

The time when my neighbors’ black lab had puppies and they let me come over every day after school and sit in the dog house for hours while little black lab puppies crawled all over me. See also: “What is Heaven like?”

Q: What is going to be the highlight of your summer?

My summer calendar does not suck. First and foremost, I am turning 31 and I’m not the least bit bummed; I’ve heard great things. Between now and Labor Day I have trips to Alys Beach, Newport (RI), Montauk, Lake Tahoe, and the pièce de résistance – FRANCE. I am not sorry.

Q: Describe yourself in five words or less? 

Contentedly restless; usually smart; wine

Q: What possession will you never throw away?

Whatever it was, I’ve probably already thrown it away.

Q: If you were to live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I took a nifty quiz via Amy on Facebook that assigns a country based on your personality (even though technically we do not approve of these sorts of things being shared on Facebook, A does whatever she wants…and I was bored, so it was fine) and learned I belong in Brazil:

You are an adventure enthusiast who likes to party, and enjoy a wild night out. You appreciate a culture with a vivacious lifestyle. You are drawn to warm climates, and love being near the water. Sitting at home is not your style. You’d rather be doing something active or walk around the city with friends. You are fed by good conversation and have a strong personality. Your motto in life is, “Life is for living” and in Brazil you are surrounded by others who share your passion.

If only I’d known this before the World Cup…I might’ve made different arrangements.

Q: What is your Game of Thrones warrior name?

Ahh, another nifty quiz…

oh. great

oh. great

Q: If you could give advice to a large group of people, what would it be?

This question is good prep for if I ever run into Brandon from Humans of New York. My advice would be to show up. That’s half the battle – if you can get where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there, I think you’re usually good to go. I realize that sounds fairly basic, but all of the most important life lessons are fundamentally basic – are they not? I would also remind people that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…well, newsflash – it’s probably a duck.

You know what they say: with age comes wisdom.

The end.

In other news…

– Watch this: John Oliver’s segment on FIFA from his show, Last Week Tonight – it aired on 6/8 but it’s still relevant. I haven’t yet watched the new HBO program in its entirety, but I fully intend to moving forward. This made me laugh outloud, and I learned some stuff, too. (It’s not short and you obviously need sound.)

– Speaking of the World Cup…USA! I BELIEVE! In addition to “watching” the live blog of each game on the WSJ, someone nicely changed the tv above my desk to ESPN so I am able to actually watch, also. You should check out the Google homepage from time to time – they update the header graphic a couple times per day and it’s weird but oddly cute. I think my workday life is somewhat different than those in, say, commercial real estate or external sales…but should you find yourself at a computer during game time there are ways to stay tuned in.

here is an angelic octopus (?) deciding who to root for, Belgium or Algeria

here’s an angelic (?) octopus trying to decide who will win today’s noon game: Belgium or Algeria

– Ok, I know this sounds a little silly, but…I’m like 90% sure OJ is innocent (of the double murder, not the subsequent robbery etc). OJ Is Innocent And I Can Prove It is an “exhaustive book” written by a P.I. who’s been investigating the murders for 18 years – he’s managed to poke some gaping holes in the prosecution’s case and lays out a very compelling argument that Jason Simpson, OJ’s son, is the guilty party. If you’re into this kind of thing, it’s worth a look – plus there are lots of pictures. Join me in a nice cup of kool-aid Business Insider: Here’s Why His Son Should Be a Suspect

– 250 NEW EMOJIS!! 

And we’re done! I can still say TGIT! because it happens to be my Thursday…sorry for the rest of you who are still on Tuesday – Tuesdays are the worst :(

L8er sk8ers

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Normalcy: it’s not for everyone

Posted by AllieB on November 14, 2012

The people-watching in New York is second to no other place I’ve been, including Flora-Bama. It’s a veritable sensory overload up here. Some days I am no mood to observe or interact with my fellow citizens, and I put in my headphones and keep to myself, and other times I like to immerse myself in my surroundings and see what peeps are up to…it is during these times that I hear things I wish I could unhear and see things I wish I could unsee.

Cut to: Sunday morning in a coffee shop in the East Village.

It was a lovely Sunday morning – daylight savings was the night previous, everyone was well-rested…a perfect bluebird fall day. I was standing in line at a locally-owned coffee shop to order some tea (I prefer Earl Grey), while the rest of my party retrieved the bagels. Spirits were high – I may have even been humming, I don’t know. I’d been there for only a short while when I got bored with my own thoughts and started listening to the twosome ahead of me. It was a boy and a girl, each carrying a musical instrument case – pretty sure both were banjos – who were meeting to go play a gig. The boy, we’ll call him Boy, was wearing one of those pork-pie hats, a sweater vest, and stonewashed jeans that were so stiff and sturdy they could likely stand up on their own.

As for the girl (Girl), just picture a much frumpier, less cute, more nasal, infinitely less charming Zooey Deschanel.

These descriptions, I realize, are not very flattering, and I honestly don’t think it was until after I heard their conversation that I began to view them so negatively. I think you’ll understand why:

Girl: So I’m totally thrown off by the time change, I had no idea where I was, what time it was, or what I was doing when I woke up. It was soooooo weird. I don’t even know what’s happening right now

Boy: Oh. Yeah. I don’t DO that whole “extra hour of sleep” thing. I stayed up an extra hour later just to be sure I didn’t get any more sleep than I usually do, because I don’t believe that you can just HAVE a free extra hour of sleep, you know? That’s just not how I do things.

Girl: For sure, I get that.

Boy: Yeah. I feel perfect today. Totally the same as I did yesterday. I don’t even really need this coffee, it’s just something to do while we wait for our ride. I’m not, like, tired – I’m totally on level.

Girl: Yeah. Yeah.

Oh COME ON. I wanted to yank that stupid hat off his head and stomp on it with my mass-produced, non-vintage boots. What an a-hole. WHO DOESN’T LOVE AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP!? I’d always thought that was a rhetorical question – evidently, it is not. At least my bagel was delicious. I don’t think I’ve written an NYC post without talking about bagels, and that is because they are so awesome up here. I have one/week.

 Boy in pork pie hat who hates sleep + whiny celeb wannabe Girl = the flattest of all of my faces (for all my talk about flat face, there aren’t very many pictures of it…I’m actually quite smiley. Here is one exception: this is me during last week’s big storm. There is nothing remotely resembling a smile on my face.)

Let’s get current on some events:

– go see Skyfall. It is the best Bond movie of the Brosnan/Craig era, and not just because of Daniel Craig the scenery, Daniel Craig the chase scenes, Daniel Craig the Bond Girls, and Daniel Craig, but because it’s actually a good story. BBT says: a TEN! BBT also recommends Argo; it, too, is excellent.

– the CEO of the Irish airline, RyanAir, wants to start selling standing-room only tickets on flights. This seems to me a really dumb idea – possibly the dumbest I have ever heard. BBT says: I’m not going to dignify this with a response.

– Jessica Simpson is looking better (credit: People by way of Caro) – I guess anyone is going to look good next to her fugly mess of a sister. BBT says: Woof (but keep up the good work, Yessica!)

My idea of what constitutes a current event is perhaps incorrect.

Have a happy hump day! My Wednesday got started off on the wrong foot when I somehow managed to ride two stops in the wrong direction on the subway. I had to get off, climb all the way up the stairs, cross over Park, go back down more stairs, and wait for another train. I’m so ashamed – what a rookie mistake. The good news is that once today is over it will be Thursday, and then it will be Friday.

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The end of just so many eras

Posted by AllieB on July 25, 2012

Honestly, I’m glad I’m moving because too many things are changing around here. I don’t prefer change unless I instigate it, so when people suddenly start doing things that they haven’t previously done, I do not respond well. You may move, A and K, when I tell you you can move. Pants, you may purchase a home when given my stamp of approval. Erika, why did you come to Atlanta when you clearly should be in NYC – come with and we can continue our overly aggressive fun and breezy Saturdays there. I DO NOT PREFER CHANGE.

K and A are moving out of P’tree Mem, and, frankly, I am devastated. I didn’t realize they’d lived there for five years, so I suppose I understand relocating, but I do not like it. I’m glad y’all are moving into the same building and I’m glad, A, that you’re buying a sofa called the Kennedy, but that doesn’t make up for all the memories. A lot of stuff went down at #3 P’tree Mem; attention must be paid.

MEMORIEEEEES: Feb Bdays 2008 (?); A and K; BBT’s bday 2009

K, I find great humor in the fact that we’re both moving in with our parents for the month of August and, that, in a wonderful alignment of the stars, it just so happens that the Olympics are on. K and I were the #1 fans of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and for two weeks straight you could find us sandwiched in her living room easy chair eating Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, cheering on the gymnastics team (KERI STRUG), and bird dogging Bob Costas. Looking back, I’m not real sure where that Bob Costas obsession came from…we were 12; whatever.

I’m seriously very excited about the Olympics: I love the swimming and gymnastics and track and field, and most of all I love the behind-the-scenes stories about the athletes and their heart-warming tales of hardship and eventual triumph complete with the fuzzy camera and melodramatic soundtrack….I love it. I even downloaded an Olympics app.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I am not a fan of The Bachelor/ette and I’d rather go play in traffic then sit through an episode of either/or, but even I took note of Emily Maynard’s wardrobe. She’s totally fake and ridiculous, but whoever was in charge of getting her dressed did a great job, even if her outfits were a little too outfit-y. You, too, can dress like Emily (credit: Lauren K. of the Q+DD) thanks to the vigilant research of The Possessionista. I think Emily went a bit far with the plastic surgery – she looks like a less intelligent Heidi Montag, something I heretofore did not think possible.

If you’re a Neiman Marcus devotee then you’ve already seen this, but the 2012 pre fall book featured a random Los Angeles vs Atlanta bit, and The Shepherd Center, an establishment many of us hold near and dear, got a pretty cool shoutout…Caro, if I don’t stop talking about you on this thing, people are going to start to wonder….

I also appreciate the H&F mention…I’m going to miss H&F…

That’s Tina and me being funny with the cured meats/pig carcasses at HF. I’m prematurely embracing my nostalgia; sorry I’m not sorry.

Enjoy today! Yesterday was National Tequila Day, but you can pretend like it’s National Tequila Week if you want.

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A year older, wiser, awesomer

Posted by AllieB on June 20, 2012

Thanks for all the birthday love!! I have a feeling 29 is going to be my year. Seriously – good things are in the mix for BBT, so BOLO for that. An extra special thank you to Tina, who put her exceptional photo-shopping skills to good use and made me this:

The Royal Couple. Let it be known that I don’t have a crush on William, my crush is on Kate…and her glorious hair. On a different note, I hear they’re planning a remake of Single White Female?

I’d like to also give a little shout-out to 5 Seasons Brewery on the Westside for proffering such a pleasant spot and service for the celebration of moi. Their pizza: meh (I’m pretty sure it’s gluten-free, which pizza should never be), their crab ragoons/flash-fried dumpling goodness: AMAZING. It’s kind of a random, not-oft-thought-of spot, but their patio is great, especially once the sun goes down, and the view is lovely – I do love a good vista!

Clockwise from top: FRIENDS! Dunce Hat (remember the brewery debacle of Oct 2k10? I’ve come such a long way since then). Thank you, Perez.

I’m having quite the love affair with the Westside right now…the JCT Rooftop Bar is absolutely idyllic for happy hour (rose, anyone?), and JCT’s Sunday Supper is really a must-do. For $24 you get homemade biscuits, a deviled egg, a nature salad (lot’s of nature in that thing, thankfully no peas – tis delish), then you choose a meat for yourself and then pick three sides for the table. I went with Mr. and Mrs. Baxter on Sunday, and I got the fish and grits (tile fish served on a bed of grits, which actually meant I got an extra fourth side…if I know how to do anything, it’s order), and then we shared sweet corn with bacon and bleu cheese, a summer squash saute, and fresh tomatoes with a light brushing of E.V.O.O. and ground pepper. OMG YUM. We also had a nice malbec, and the whole evening was very pleasant. BBT: HIGHLY recommends.

I updated my Book List.

Obsessed with this nail polish (gracias, Dinka!) – both color and name:

essie – off the shoulder

LeAnn Rimes is the worst, and this latest gaffe really takes the cake (wordplay): check out the birthday treat she designed for her now-husband’s birthday. I say “now-husband” because he was married to someone else when they started seeing each other. In case you can’t tell, it’s her and hubby cuddling in bed on the top layer with his two children sitting alone at the bottom. Someone should call child services.

Wrong. So Wrong. (via UsWeekly)

Get after it – it’s humpday!

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Post about how BBT is awesome and The Bachelor is not

Posted by AllieB on January 4, 2012

BBT is not an open book; that was never the plan. Mayhaps one day I’ll start an anonymous blog so I can finally do surveys with the sorts of questions the male contingent has asked that I ask – none of which I can even kind of describe to you here – but til then I like to hold my cards close re: real facts and information. Be that as it may, I share with you some statistics about BBT. Sharing these goes directly against everything I just said.

  • since its conception in July 2k10, I have published 279 posts on Baxter Bark Twice.
  • in 2011, BBT was viewed almost 100,000 times (NOT counting spam, bots, or spiders – I like the numbers a whole lot more when I include those guys, but…the blogging oath and all that). According to my WordPress Jetpack Site Stats, this means that if BBT was a concert at Madison Square Garden, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it. Neat. Kind of an odd metaphor, but it’s nice to have a visual.
  • 37 percent of all visits were new visits, the remaining 63 percent, obviously, returning. Of those 63 percent returning visitors, 51 percent visited over 25 times. Super neat.

This sounds an awful lot like bragging and a little bit like a math problem, neither of which are things BBT condones, but I’m kinda proud of myself – especially given my incredibly scattered content and lack of direction. Besides, a blog is nothing without her readers, so it’s really you I have to thank…except Hilary.

MUZZLE. Let’s talk about something else.

As much as I abhor all things Bachelor/Bachelorette, I tuned in for the season premier on Monday. It is insane. IT IS SO INSANE. What on EARTH is happening?! Sloan Crosley – you recall my bestie Sloan – tweeted that she’d like to be a Behind the Scenes Manipulator on The Bachelor. I agree. First, there’s the Monica v Jenna feud, next you’ve got Monica aggressively coming on to Blakely and them canoodling on the chaise, and then there’s Jenna going absolutely, completely BATSH*T BONKERS and crying nonstop for hours (cute dress, though – good beadwork). I just don’t even know what to make of the season, especially when the Bachelor in question is Ben. He was such a non-presence in the first episode it easily could have been called 30 Totally Loony Women Dressed Like Skanks and Drinking Too Much in a Random House For No Reason At All. There’s no way I can watch another second I’ll see if I can stick it out for another week, but I’m not optimistic.

From left: Jenna, the spineless crier, and Monica, the unhinged pseudo-lesbian psychopath, both of whom made it thru the first rose ceremony. Houston, we have a problem.

For a more comprehensive recap, I - begrudgingly – direct you towards Betches Love This Site. They pretty much nailed it…but of course they did; it’s right up their alley.

As for upcoming topical topics, people have been asking for some Facebook etiquette tips. Or not tips so much as what is absolutely NOT okay to share on the book of face. I tread lightly in this area as there is a very real chance I could offend an avid reader. I have an illness and it’s called pleasing people. I think I need to get over that. Any tips? Kara?

Oh, I just finished a very good book: The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. I reserved it at the library like 5 months ago, and it just came in – I couldn’t even remember what it was about or why I wanted to read it, but it was excellent. It takes place in 1938 in New York City – actually, People Magazine can say it better than I can: “Put on some Billie Holiday, pour a dry martini and immerse yourself in the eventful life of Katey Kontent…[Towles] clearly knows the privileged world he’s writing about, as well as the vivid, sometimes reckless characters who inhabit it.” Recommend for females only, I think. A, go ahead and order it…for boys, READ THE HUNGER GAMES.

There is more than one relevant item on this list of 20 New Year’s Resolutions for 20-Somethings. Even if you’ve already rounded out your list of NY Ressies, you should check these out. Even if you’re not in your 20’s or think you’re better than resolutions, reading this is worth a minute of your time. Credit: Haley G.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

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