Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘thursday’

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Chicken wings and truth bombs: because that’s what BBT does

Posted by AllieB on January 26, 2012

While I appreciate what this flowchart (I LOVE FLOWCHARTS) is trying to do, it has one fatally egregious error that I cannot get past. See if you can spot it (credit: Julia)

No? I’ll tell you. There is no mention – nary a one – of condiments. HelLO the best part about wings is the blue cheese (or ranch) dressing. Well, maybe not the best part, but a very significant perk – for me, wings are the vehicle that justifies consuming inappropriate amounts of BC dressing…and, for the record, my wing personality is Maple Chipotle Hot Wings. I totally saw that coming. This did get me excited for the Super Bowl. Often overshadowed by more popular foodie holidays, such as Thanksgiving, the Super Bowl is a great day to take advantage of one of my favorite food groups: glorified bar food. I’m not above a good mozzarella stick (Treehouse has excellent ones), but I’m all about trying a gourmet wing. Who’s organizing/cooking/hosting this year??

Thursday! Thursday is one of my favorite days of the week and also a great day for lists – like this one about stuff for which I was thankful. Today I share with you things that I know to be true… No gray (grey?) areas – just black and white truth bombs.

  • if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck…newsflash: it’s a duck
  • you really do have to drive 25 mph Peachtree Battle Ave – there is always a cop with a radar gun
  • change is hard…
  • doing a full minute wall sit is harder
  • if you think the rules of personal space apply to the table situation at the Peach Starbucks, well…you’d be wrong.
  • Carrie Bradshaw is a whiny narcissist
  • puppies will always make you feel better…cookie dough will, also
  • it is very validating to have double digit re-pins on Pinterest
  • age is nothing but a number…
  • I really am concerned about America’s youth – kids these days: their clothes, attitudes, everything…what a bunch of brats
  • if you think that cute, slightly older gentleman the next table over is smiling at you, well…you’d be wrong again – he’s smiling at his bratty daughter and his perfect looking wife, who are walking over to join him
  • red wine = friend. Also, foe.
  • how HOW is it still January!?
  • I’ll have what Hoda and Kathie Lee are having

Welp, that was random. Keep it real, ya heard?

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

If you have to ask, the answer is no

Posted by AllieB on January 5, 2012

Oh, look – it’s Jessica Simpson. My biggest concern, I think, is that she’s so top-heavy she’s going to topple over. To quote a wise acquaintance, she looks like a kite – a very large, incapable of ever possibly taking flight kite. WHY DOES SHE REFUSE TO HIRE A STYLIST.

Gracias, Y Kenna.

J Simps is a great segue to my next subject – you know she sends some seriously manic texts: “I’M OUT OF CHOCOLATE OH WAIT I JUST FOUND SOME CRUMBS IN MY CIRCLE SCARF PLEASE BRING ME SOME CHEETOS WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU?!” … or something like that. Please refer to the flow chart below. ErinD sent it to me, and I got a kick out of it largely because I have a history of sending the most redonkulous texts ever. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I should compile a coffee table book or similar. (It should be noted that people on the receiving end of these messages have never made such a suggestion.) Back in the day, I could have had my very own thumbnail on Texts From Last Night. Luckily, I’m totally in control of the disorder nowadays – much to the relief of everyone in my phone book.

Even if I’d had access to this during my texting heyday, I’m not sure it would have helped – namely because I can’t read from right to left or down to up, but also because it’s completely extraneous. Allow me (this is my maiden flow chart, so bear with me):

Personally, I think my guide proffers a much simpler solution to all texting malfeasances. And it would behoove me to take my own advice….wisdom: imparted.

Thursday!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

Ask and you shall receive

Posted by AllieB on December 15, 2011

As seems to be the case with all my surveys, the results of my poll on Tuesday were unremarkable. Turns out there are stupid questions (well, we already knew that (this is one of my favorite posts)), and apparently I keep asking them.

1. I read BBT because…

  • 22.7% – it has relevant or interesting information
  • 43.5% – it is funny
  • 7.4% – it is fun to make fun of Allie
  • 22.7% – I like to be distracted during the work day
  • 2.6% – Allie pesters me about reading it
  • 1.3% – I might stop reading if she asks me anymore stupid questions

Ok? I don’t know what I expected to glean from that question, but I’m glad to know that less than half of you read this because you think it’s funny.

2. What would you like to see more of on BBT?

  • 17.7% – boy/girl surveys
  • 14.6% – Atlanta restaurants/deals
  • 19.6% – personal anecdotes
  • 12.3% – celeb stuff
  • 17.3% – goings-on around Atlanta
  • 18.6% – new sites that I should check out

So, basically…this data helps me not at all. I should have made it so you could only choose one answer, and I also should have allowed it to show how many people took it. Fail on both counts. I will try to focus more on personal anecdotes, less on celeb stuff, and stay about the same with the other stuff.

3. I am a boy/girl:

  • 28.6% – boy
  • 71.4% – girl

I honestly do believe that more than 30% of my readers are male, but I also believe that they are less inclined to participate in my boneheaded polls. So…fair enough.

I have two sites of interest to share with you today – the perk is that both of these require about 2 seconds of your time to appreciate:

The first is a simple photo blog that makes me laugh outloud. Walk. Too Big For Stroller

The second is a mind-blowing fact blog about Apple and the rest of the world: Things Apple Is Worth More Than (spoiler alert: all of the illegal drugs in the world…)

My friends and I adopted a family for our third year in a row this Christmas, and I think this year was our best yet. I must say – and this is not because no one offered but because Christmas is a crazy time of year – I did do all of the shopping by myself, and I did a pretty awesome job. It’s for a family of three: a single father and two sons, and the gifts are exactly what they asked for. I’m proud of us for participating for three years straight. Between Lindsay’s magazine-worthy holiday decor and the cheer of wrapping gifts for this family (and the Stouffer’s mac n cheese), last night got me more in the Christmas spirit than anything else yet this year. ‘Tis the season!

New sites to check out? BOOM. Personal anecdote? Nailed it.

Ok – this may or may not be real. It is a “petite retriever” and I can’t tell what kind of hybrid it is, but his name is Rigoletto and he is a PERMANENT PUPPY. He tops out at 20 lbs. I must have him.

More pics of Rigo and other hybrids here.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it’s Wine Gal

Posted by AllieB on October 6, 2011

One of my biggest flaws, I think, is my lack of creativity when it comes to costumes. I have a pretty good imagination and can be creative with other stuff – this blog doesn’t write itself – but I suck at costumes. People who do not suck at costumes: A, K, Leila, Pants, Caro…you’ve all had some remarkable ‘stumes. Case in point: two years ago I dressed up as Parker Posey from Dazed and Confused. LAME. And, to make it even lamer, I was the only person who did it so instead of SENIORS my shirt said SENIOR – senior singular. I did enjoy having that whistle…and making people fry like bacon.

Last year, as I was thinking about options, I decided that, whatever I chose to be, it had to include a cape. Who wears capes? Superheros. Somehow I landed on a “wine superhero” (probably after a great deal of wine) and yada yada yada…meet & greet WINE GAL.

Wine Gal wore all purple: purple knee socks, purple tennis skirt, purple tank bathing suit (oddly, I owned all of these things), and I bought some sparkly purple fabric to fashion a cape. Key accessories included a gold fanny pack and my weapon of choice – corkscrew, duh – and then mini bottles of wine which served as my strength serum – think Popeye and spinach. I didn’t really have a super power….unless you count the ability to consume incredible quantities of red wine as one. Which I do.

So, here we are… Once again I have no idea what to be, I only know what I don’t want to be:

-slutty nurse/waitress/maid/police officer… you can pretty much be a slutty noun. Those costumes are lame and SO obvious. PLU don’t dress up like those things, but I just wanted to reassert how not okay they are – I don’t care what you saw in Mean Girls.

-persona from current events. Apparently Charlie Sheen is trending as this year’s most popular costume. That’s really dumb.

-any kind of animal. Either you’re a slutty kitten or you wind up in some huge cow costume with icky udders. No to both. Unless you’re a dude, in which case a big goofy animal costume can be funny. Actually, guy costumes are a totally different conversation – the same rules do not apply.

-anything really ugly or scary. I’m sorry, I’m just not good at really immersing myself in a look…this might be why I’m no good at costuming. Maybe I just need to get over myself and go as Mt. Rushmore or something……A, you will forever have my respect for that mountain of an ensemble.

Fack. BOLO for Wine Gal 2.0.

*PLU = people like us.

He changed our lives and imaginations with his inventions. Check out this compilation of tributes from across the world – an “iMemorial” of Steve Jobs – worth a look.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Home is where my stuff is

Posted by AllieB on September 8, 2011

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: please stop talking/tweeting/dancing/any other gerund you can think of:

Spotted on Twitter yesterday:

Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction…not to worry! I LOVE MY BOOBIES!!!! They aren’t going anywhere!!!

One guess – uno – as to who the culprit is behind this gem. J SIMPS! I am, admittedly, very excited about her wedding. Does anyone know when that is? Better yet, is anyone going? If you are, I would like to work out some sort of deal giving me access to all of your media. I will pay you zero dollars for exclusive rights – very lucrative, very fair; get back to me.

I’m having some issues of the interior design ilk. My new abode is absorbing all of my furniture so it seems quite empty. I do not prefer clutter, but I do want it to seem…lived in. I think the window treatments I’ve been eyeing will help, and I have some ideas pertaining to wall decor…I was discussing this with my neighbor last evening, and the following conversation ensued:

Allie: My apartment is eating my furniture.

Kara: You know what you need? A plant.

Allie: Yes, but then I’d have a plant.

Do people have plants? It seems like a turn towards Catville, and I am not going to Catville. Pass. If I bring any living organism into my home, it will be a PUPPY. Here are some ideas I like:

From left:

-lofty aspirations (wordplay)

-I will, one day, have a book nook

-this is somewhat plausible, save for my laziness

Credit: PINTEREST.

On notice: Souper Jenny. You know what you did – $7 salads and sammies? For shame. It’s not so much the amount as the fact that, for the past two years, every time you return from your month long vacation (don’t even get me started on that nonsense – this isn’t France!), you jack up your prices by a buck. I don’t like it. Henceforth, the only time I will deign to dine in your restaurant is on Thursday nights when there are grilled cheeses. I think it’s time to serve that one with prosciutto/arugula/goat cheese on an Israeli bagel.

Baxter, out. TGIT.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

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