Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘retrospectively’

Oh. Happy Belated.

Posted by AllieB on August 9, 2012

I’m surprised someone hasn’t spoken up about this because HOW RUDE: I forgot to celebrate BBT’s birthday three weeks ago. Now I get why there’s nothing in my baby book after my first birthday – it’s just not as exciting. The second year was a little rocky; the dreaded “sophomoric slump” was something of an issue – ie the two months I didn’t write – but there were still some noteworthy moments. I do love a good pictorial retrospective:

Clockwise from top left: Tina got married; Char got married; 50 Shades of Grey happened; I made a very helpful flow chart; BBT is moving to NYC; Ryan Lochte tweeted, joined Mensa; that’s me on Perez Hilton

I haven’t been as vigilant about tracking my site analytics, but it’s always fun to see what people Goog to land on my page – searches from the last month include:

-funny chicken wings

-did the Malaysian woman go to jail for beating her baby

-stealing

-a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool

-i hate obnoxious girls

-who’s right, allie or jordan (Editor’s note: I wonder who searched that?? Too funny.)

-sexy fat girls

Hmm strange. I’m not sure how I feel about those phrases queuing up BBT in search results. It’s true, though – I really do hate obnoxious girls. And if anyone knows how to construct a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool, then BY ALL MEANS let me know.

Blog of the Week: McKayla is not impressed. Ha!

Today is Thursday, by the way. It could be Tuesday, for all I know – my lack of daily structure leaves me with zero perception as to what day it is, but it does lend itself to multiple blog posts/week…I was hoping today was National {insert a tasty beverage here} Day, but all I could come up with is National Mustard Day. Boo. Let’s pretend it’s National Drink Wine Day, instead – join me, won’t you? (For the record, the next Drink Wine Day is February 18, 2013, which means there are only 193 days left to hone our skills. OMG, A, that’s the day before your birthday…what a happy/par for the course coincidence!)

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The end of just so many eras

Posted by AllieB on July 25, 2012

Honestly, I’m glad I’m moving because too many things are changing around here. I don’t prefer change unless I instigate it, so when people suddenly start doing things that they haven’t previously done, I do not respond well. You may move, A and K, when I tell you you can move. Pants, you may purchase a home when given my stamp of approval. Erika, why did you come to Atlanta when you clearly should be in NYC – come with and we can continue our overly aggressive fun and breezy Saturdays there. I DO NOT PREFER CHANGE.

K and A are moving out of P’tree Mem, and, frankly, I am devastated. I didn’t realize they’d lived there for five years, so I suppose I understand relocating, but I do not like it. I’m glad y’all are moving into the same building and I’m glad, A, that you’re buying a sofa called the Kennedy, but that doesn’t make up for all the memories. A lot of stuff went down at #3 P’tree Mem; attention must be paid.

MEMORIEEEEES: Feb Bdays 2008 (?); A and K; BBT’s bday 2009

K, I find great humor in the fact that we’re both moving in with our parents for the month of August and, that, in a wonderful alignment of the stars, it just so happens that the Olympics are on. K and I were the #1 fans of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and for two weeks straight you could find us sandwiched in her living room easy chair eating Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, cheering on the gymnastics team (KERI STRUG), and bird dogging Bob Costas. Looking back, I’m not real sure where that Bob Costas obsession came from…we were 12; whatever.

I’m seriously very excited about the Olympics: I love the swimming and gymnastics and track and field, and most of all I love the behind-the-scenes stories about the athletes and their heart-warming tales of hardship and eventual triumph complete with the fuzzy camera and melodramatic soundtrack….I love it. I even downloaded an Olympics app.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I am not a fan of The Bachelor/ette and I’d rather go play in traffic then sit through an episode of either/or, but even I took note of Emily Maynard’s wardrobe. She’s totally fake and ridiculous, but whoever was in charge of getting her dressed did a great job, even if her outfits were a little too outfit-y. You, too, can dress like Emily (credit: Lauren K. of the Q+DD) thanks to the vigilant research of The Possessionista. I think Emily went a bit far with the plastic surgery – she looks like a less intelligent Heidi Montag, something I heretofore did not think possible.

If you’re a Neiman Marcus devotee then you’ve already seen this, but the 2012 pre fall book featured a random Los Angeles vs Atlanta bit, and The Shepherd Center, an establishment many of us hold near and dear, got a pretty cool shoutout…Caro, if I don’t stop talking about you on this thing, people are going to start to wonder….

I also appreciate the H&F mention…I’m going to miss H&F…

That’s Tina and me being funny with the cured meats/pig carcasses at HF. I’m prematurely embracing my nostalgia; sorry I’m not sorry.

Enjoy today! Yesterday was National Tequila Day, but you can pretend like it’s National Tequila Week if you want.

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Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie

Posted by AllieB on February 2, 2012

Australian accents are hot. I don’t care if it’s a girl or guy, if they’re cute or not so much – anyone with an Aussie twang is at least a 6 on my scale. No, a 5…but that’s not a bad place to be from the get go. I had the pleasure of chatting with two males from Oz last night, which, obviously, is what spurned this philosophical waxing today. These two gents hailed from Walla Walla (or maybe not that exactly – they were very hard to understand…Australians mumble a lot??) and happened to be twin brothers. Oh my. Twin brothers from Australia…and did I mention they were 6’2″ with curly brown hair and big green eyes?  Our interaction was short-lived, and we parted ways before I could marry one or both invite myself along on their worldwide trek, but the interaction brought back some very fond memories…. I couldn’t help but reminisce on my own six month sojourn to the Land Down Under back in 2k4.

I lived here in Coogee Beach outside of Sydney…

And hung out at places like this in the Whitsunday Islands…

I even went skydiving!

Skydiving was definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. It was over the Great Barrier Reef and one of the world’s only beach landings. I saw all kinds of craziness on the way down: sharks, hundred-year-old sea turtles, my life flashing before my eyes….I watched the film a few years back. My suggestion to you re: skydiving videos is as follows: don’t do it. Trust me, being filmed by the man strapped to your back with a camera held about 6 inches away from your face whilst free falling from 14,000 feet is no one’s best look. Plus, when you’re jumping out of an airplane, you might find yourself inclined to say things you would not otherwise say…which will be captured forever on this video. I’m not sure what a good alternative would be – maybe have a third person jump at the same time and film you/the scenery from afar/a more flattering angle? Regardless, my skydiving experience is one that I will cherish forever and share with no one….and I really need to find that videotape.

One of the best things about Australia is the way they do breakfast. In theory it’s the same as the US: eggs, bacon, toast…but in practice it is ever so much more. The bacon is the kicker – over there they serve up these thick slices of juicy meat, not greasy, grainy skinny little strips like here. I understand that some people are perfectly fond of that kind of bacon – me, I love all bacon – but the Australian take on breakfast pork is just better. My bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal suddenly seems woefully inadequate…

Sooo, that rodent Punxsatawny Phil DID see his shadow therefore we can look forward to six more weeks of winter. Well, KMA, Phil – Atlanta begs to differ. I hope I didn’t just jinx us to a freak March snowstorm…knock on wood or something.

UGA had a badass signing day yesterday, and I don’t know if they’re even counting this girl, Anna Watson, who is real and not photoshopped and could obviously give a brick wall a run for its money. WTF?!

Hilary, this girl could be your triplet. It’s uncanny!

This has not been BBT’s best week. Go forth and prosper.

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Hair Emergency

Posted by AllieB on April 26, 2011

When asked in a recent interview what her fiance, Eric I Don’t Even Care to Goog His Last Name, thinks is the ‘sexiest’ part about her, Jessica Simps responded:

“my billion dollar business”

“my enormous boobs”

“my eyes.”

Aw, bless her heart…

In related-yet-unrelated J Simps news: I purchased a pair of her wedges last week and I totally luv them. See – I’m not hating on her entire person, just a few of things the things she says/wears/does. Her shoes are cute and reasonable and these are quite comfy. I just can’t really hate someone whole heartedly, so I have to find their redeeming qualities. Unless we’re talking about Taylor Swift, because I can’t even stand her music anymore. I read an interview with Taylor recently that says she has “no interest” in becoming a “sex symbol.” Believe you me, Taylor, that is not going to be a problem.

Oh dear: the forecast in London for Friday calls for rain…lots of rain. Kate is known for her luscious, always perfectly coiffed locks, but there’s some weather that defies even the strongest of serums, and this is what concerns me – I know Kate’s hair, and it’s not dissimilar to my own in texture (not appearance – do I have my own staff blow-drying and styling my hair daily? No, I do not). This means to say: humidity is NOT our friend.

I stand corrected. There are literally no bad photos of Kate with poufy hair. Here I was, trying once again to level to playing field betwixt Kate and myself, and it’s just not possible. Her hair truly is glorious enough for the rest of us.

From left:

  1. the closest Kate has ever come to a hair emergency
  2. one of my most emergent hair emergencies (Notre Dame – Paris ’98)
  3. Kate’s hair win
  4. I had to throw myself a bone after #2

Forget any concerns I may’ve had re: Kate’s coif. She’ll be fine. I look forward to when I marry Prince Carl of Sweden and can also have perfect hair, every single day.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , , , | 9 Comments »