Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘on notice’

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I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

Posted by AllieB on July 12, 2011

Actually, I’m not entirely sure I would – crack is very addicting, you know, one hit and you could be a goner…but that’s what Gwyneth said at some function last week. I think Gwynnie is trying a little to hard to be kewl – another snippet from the same event:

“I drink constantly while I’m cooking,” she says. “Wine, either colour.”

Now that is radical.

So, the whole Casey Anthony thing is over and done with (until her tell-all novel/reality show/perfume comes out – eau de Car Trunk…? (that may have been inapprop)), but Nancy Grace’s insanity will forever live on. This video is actually very hysterical because Nancy Grace is such a ridiculous human. Obviously, you need sound, but it’s worth watching.

BBT enjoys the finer things in life, but, unfortunately, Bacchanalia is rarely one of them. Have you ever been? I went once…I’d like to go back, so I entered this contest to win a $250 dinner for two! That would put a decent dent in the bill, I think, so long as I didn’t take Hilary with me. You can enter, too!!! But if you win, you have to take me. Unless you win, Hilary, in which case you will need to tell them that what most consider dinner for two is actually a dinner for uno in your book.Please say a little prayer for Missy Baxter today…she’s having surgery for these lump things that are actually pretty icky and I’m glad she’s getting them removed…anyway, she’s going to have to have a doggy cone and she’s going to hate it. Missy doesn’t like conical accessories.

Happy Tuesday. Have you VOTED FOR BBT YET?!? If you haven’t…well….

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Things that can and will happen when it is 97 degrees outside

Posted by AllieB on June 21, 2011

It’s the first day of Summer! Oh, is it, Mother Nature. You could’ve fooled me….it’s hard to go anywhere, really, the moment I walk outside my energy is zapped. Also, and this is more concerning, I have to be very, very careful about my outfits. Breezy materials, obviously, are the best, but even breezy things become an issue when it’s a stagnant 97 degrees outside, especially if you’re sitting down…meet & greet: Swamp Ass. I’ve shared an example on the right from a televised golf tournament in Memphis (credit: Tina). I’m sure his backside was the least of his concerns, but it’s the most grave of mine….so.unfortunate. It looks like he’s wearing a donut, except he’s standing up and that’s not a donut – it’s sweat. Ewwwww.

My tricks for avoiding swamp ass include:

  1. Do not goog “swamp ass” because it’s really gross
  2. Don’t wear light colored cotton material on your bottom half
  3. I don’t know, this is making me uncomf

You’re welcome. If you’re up for it, check out this article/these photos, both of which give a very strong argument to the fact that, yes, the weather is becoming more and more extreme. You are less welcome for that.

I am very lucky to not be a loser and have terrific friends. I’ll quit talking about my birthday after today because, really, this has gone on long enough, but we had a lurvely dinner at Paul’s on the Patio last night and it was very fun. Thanks, guys!

For those of you with iPhones: get the Hipstamatic application. I am gritting my teeth as I write this, being without an iPhone and all, but at least I can reap the benefits of others who have them. There are tons of different settings and I don’t really know anything about the app itself besides the fact that the pictures I’ve seen people take look really cool. #ineedaniphone

I’m joining the cult that is LuluLemon. I can’t believe I’m caving, and I’m almost too ashamed to talk about it, but their shorts have lured me in….the phrase, “if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything” comes to mind, but whatever – that was never a founding father of BBT in the first place. I got the split/speed short and the verdict is: LOVE. I knew I would. Gosh darnit, now I want to try a top…I am such a sucker.

So this “Pinterest” thing…at first I thought it was really geared towards people in the Interior Design business (which I am decidedly not), and I didn’t really mess around on it…however, after Tina’s spectacular assemblage in honor of moi that she shared with me yesterday, I am newly obsessed. It’s my very own board!!! If you would like an invitation to Pinterest, I will be happy to give you one, just let me know. I’m known for my generosity.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

On notice: Nancy Grace. Not on notice: PUPPIES!

Posted by AllieB on June 7, 2011

It’s cool to be in the know about current events, and as a purveyor of coolness I bring you a very special BBT: guest author and the newly named Crime Correspondent, Leila Ann. Nancy Grace, you better watch it because Leila Ann is coming for you/your job/your coiffure.

I watch the Today Show religiously and am really good at reading article headlines, so I have a general idea about a lot of things, but Leila…she takes it like 988 steps further, especially re: heinous acts of crime and those who commit them. This Casey Anthony trial is completely out of control, IMO. Leila Ann, evidently, thinks so as well. Even if you don’t know anything about the case in question, you should read this because it is hilar (NOT the subject matter – the verbiage):

On day 1 Casey’s defense lawyer,  Jose Baez attempted (to NO avail, IMO) to claim that Casey did NOT kill Caylee but that Caylee drowned in the family pool and that George Anthony (Caylee’s grandfather) helped dispose of the body.  The defense also claims that George molested Casey as a child leaving her emotionally scarred, thus the reasoning behind Casey not telling a SINGLE person for ONE month that her daughter was missing.

Here are my thoughts regarding Casey’s epic failure in selecting an adequate defense:

  1. Jose Baez received his degree to practice law from Strayer University
  2. I’m more apt to believe a mass email that upon forwarding to 10 friends within 1 minute, I will receive success, love, money and a unicorn.
  3. Early childhood molestation cannot be physically proven years after the fact…the only possible evidence would be for Casey to take the stand (if this does happen, you can find me at the Orlando Court House battling it out for one of the 60 seats available for public viewers).  Looking at Casey’s track record it’s clearly evident she is a compulsive liar, so yes, PLEASE put Casey on the stand.
  4. Lastly, by introducing such an outlandish theory the defense is going to have one helluva time proving their case.  Despite some holes in the prosecutors case, the defense could have potentially used the “accidental death” cover-up. However, Baez (evidently, fresh off an acid-trip) went WAY too far with his convoluted theory and has almost ZERO evidential proof.

If you’ve turned the news on at any point in the last 3 weeks, your probably aware that a lot more has taken place. If you’d like to know more, all you have to do is ask…I can go on for days.  If I ever was elected to Congress and needed to filibuster, this would be my topic.

So, there you have it. We can now all watch with breath that is baited for how this pans out. Thank you, Leila, your wisdom and insight is always appreciated, especially in arenas about which I know so little. I’m happy to bring on other correspondents…MP – if you’d like to write about the wonder that are the fried goat cheese balls at Ecco, that might be acceptable. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life…and BBT is nothing if not muy caliente.

I’ve been setting up my home office the past few days, and it’s coming along nicely. Upon learning that Comcast couldn’t come hook up my internet until Thursday of this week and would charge me an extra 10 bones to do so, I decided to pick up the materials from the Comcast Office off Chamblee Tucker and install it myself. Allie, no. Between the time spent driving out to Chamblee, the waiting in line, the insufficient items provided, my two trips to Best Buy and the 17 mins on the phone with Customer Service, I’m thinking I should have just left it to the professionals….although a professional could not give me this self-satisfied sense of ownership I feel when I look at the blinking lights of my router – you can’t put a price on that. I’ve rearranged my furniture like five times and I’ve yet to figure out a pleasing layout…I have a date with IKEA this week. That, surely, will go well.

THIS WEEK:

  • Tuesday 6/7: Howell Mill Food Park hosts a myriad selection of food trucks, including TEX’S TACOS (here’s this week’s truck schedule), amongst others…
  • ADOPT A PUPPY!!! These three SO-ADORABLE-I-want-to-SQUEEEEEZE-THEM black lab puppies are in a foster home for now, but they need permanent homes…..this is through Atlanta Lab Rescue, and I’m being totally serious: be a hero and go adopt a puppy.

Posted in Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Best in Show: Philly Cheesesteak

Posted by AllieB on February 1, 2011

Philly Cheesesteaks are my favorite sandwich. There are so many factors that go into creating the perfect Philly: the bread-to-filling ratio; the cheese is not a topping but more of the glue of the filling; perfect amount of mayo and seasoning…I could keep going, but my bowl of Special K this a.m. is not cutting it and I can almost taste the wonderful goodness….

Without further ado…the establishment serving the best cheesesteak in Atlanta, IMO – the real crème de la crème – is:

Mr C’s on Howell Mill.

Go to there, order one, and see if I’m not right. However, if you’ve had one elsewhere that you know for a fact is superior to Mr. C’s  based on your own personal experience, contact me immediately. Email, cell, flare gun – whatever, I need to know. Mr C’s is great in general – they have tots and fried okra and cheap beer. One other place I would like to commend for consistently top-notch fare is Philly Connection; I would also, however, like to denounce them for the lack of locations ITP.

I looked up the highest rated sammies in ATL on Yelp, and I was alarmed to read about a place called Gut Busters. I wonder if their motto is, “Gut Busters: where indigestion is inevitable” – they probably give out Pepto Bismol tablets along with their plastic cutlery. Just sayin…they could’ve chosen a different name.

Update: per the input of a BBT subscriber, I totally dropped the ball by not including the Mad Italian. And he’s right, the Mad-I, as my mom always called it, is awesome for PC’s, but I haven’t been in almost two decades and wasn’t sure it was the same deal as I remembered…to make sure I am sharing the most accurate information possible, I will go in the near future and get back to you. Holy wow, that website looks phenom…

Speaking of Philly -> Philadelphia -> Pennsylvania…tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Experts are skeptical that Punxsutawney Phil will not see his shadow thus forecasting an early spring, particularly because PA is one of several states expected to be blasted (Gut Blasted?) by what could be the worst winter storm in the history of all the winter storms – there’s even talk of canceling Groundhog Day altogether. Really, Mother Nature? I think it’s time to take things down a notch…

It is decidedly not always sunny in Philadelphia.

Posted in Food & Drink, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

Here’s what’s happening in your world tonight

Posted by AllieB on January 20, 2011

Good afternoon. This weather sucks.

BUT! Treehouse has deigned to join the rest of the free world in the Groupon et al craze, and for only $8 you can get $20 worth of food and/or booze without any restrictions! Click here for the deal; it’s only available until midnight.

Thanks for throwing us a bone, Treehouse. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve stopped going in protest against their refusal to offer happy hour specials or Recession-friendly deals, but really – it’s about time. Maybe I should buy a few more…

I’ve grown tired of picking on Boobs Legsly, and Jessica Simpson seems to finally be heeding my advice by going out in public less, so I’ve been forced to find a new target for my celebrity ridicule. Taylor Swift…COME ON DOWN! Newsflash: your relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal was total baloney. Write your little ditty about picking apples in New York and sharing pumpkin spice lattes or whatever you need to do to mourn the loss of your fake – not to mention gay – boyfriend, get your platinum records and Grammy’s and make your millions, but for the LOVE OF GOD leave US Weekly out of it.

What the crap – how are you so boring. Just looking at you makes me want to take a nap. The only thing that could make you more boring would be doing something like not serving alcohol at your 21st birthday and having platters of cookies instead. Oh, wait…..

Girl Talk is tomorrow at the Tabernacle! If you don’t have tickets you’re probably S.O.L. unless you want to fork over $100…fortunately, I do not fall into that category, thanks to Leila, and have been accumulating glow sticks for weeks. I’ve also been preparing for my transition to Dance-Floor Allie by way of nightly stretching and some solo head banging – it’s like I’m the White Swan morphing into the Black…..except not because that would freak everyone out. DANCE PARTY!!!

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

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