Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘NYC’

Karma As It Applies to Me: An Essay

Posted by AllieB on May 23, 2013

I always thought it to be so,  but now I know for sure: karma is real. It exists, and it should be acknowledged as a true thing that happens. My belief in this is not religious or anything; it’s how I believe some things happen for a reason, or that three rights make a left – it just is. I like to think I would always do the right thing because character is what you do when no one’s looking, but up in this city, when presented with right v wrong, I definitely take into account how my actions could come back around…

MmmHmmm you know that's right

MmmHmmm you know that’s right

My karmic journey began at CVS on Madison and 34th last Thursday. I was walking home from work because I couldn’t find a cab and sometimes I hate the subway it was nice out, and I needed new hair clips and Vaseline (yes) so I stopped by CVS. I like CVS because they have self-checkout. As I went to ring up my purchases, I noticed that the machine was still beeping, “take your change” – sure enough, in the cash dispenser was a whole wad of bills, evidently forgotten by the person who’d been there before me. I took the cash and the receipt and found the nearest employee, explaining the sitch. “OH MY WORD!” the woman said, rifling thru the bills, “look at all these MONIES!!” Indeed. I have no idea how she handled it from there, but I knew I’d done the right thing, and I felt good about that.

Which brings me to…Saturday night. Oh no – Saturday night. I knowingly* set my phone down on a bar – for safekeeping, obviously – and accidentally left it there. When I woke up on Sunday, I was pretty sure it was at this bar/restaurant where we’d been, but they weren’t open so I couldn’t confirm. My mind started racing thru all the possibilities…ANOTHER lost phone!? My morale plummeted to depths heretofore unseen. But there was something in me – an innate belief in the goodness of mankind, I think it was – that had me almost positive that I would see my phone again. AND I WAS RIGHT. The very kind proprietor held onto my phone and I retrieved it Monday.

*unknowingly

Here’s what: had I not turned in the money last Thursday at CVS, I am certain that someone would have thieved my phone on Saturday night. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If it’s not yours, don’t take it. Thou shalt not steal.

stealing

Just kidding!! I was testing you.

Another example of karmic retribution: Lime Fresh Mexican Grill in Atlanta has CLOSED! All of them. BBT was anti from the word go: you can’t serve crappy food with poor service and expect to sustain an existence amongst Hall of Famers like Willy’s and Barberitos and Chipotle. I had to add Chipotle because that’s all I have access to up here, and it’s really pretty good…although my prayers have been answered and the Willy’s in Concourse B at Hartsfield-Jackson is finally open. Hallelujah. CC: Caro, K, Lucy

Everyone knows what a disaster apartment hunting in NYC can be. I don’t, really, because mine fell in my lap and is perfect, but most everyone else does, so I think we can all appreciate this new blog, The Worst Room. It lifts listings from actual apartment websites and shares the pics along with perfectly edited descriptions (credit: Joe, but also NYMag Approval Matrix (Joe, BUSTED))

Union Square, Manhattan. $1000.00<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
&#8220;I am looking for someone to move into a large closet space in one of the three bedrooms of my apartment. The bedroom has two closets but there is no need for it so we are looking to sublet it as a living space to a 4th roommate. The closet is about 5 feet wide and 7 feet long. It has no windows and think it would be ideal for a twin size bed and small night stand.&#8221;<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
&#8220;Amazing Location&#8221;

Union Square, Manhattan. $1,000.00

“I am looking for someone to move into a large closet space in one of the three bedrooms of my apartment. The bedroom has two closets but there is no need for it so we are looking to sublet it as a living space to a 4th roommate. The closet is about 5 feet wide and 7 feet long. It has no windows and think it would be ideal for a twin size bed and small night stand.”

“Amazing Location”

The price is right…there’s no such thing as claustrophobia…what a find!

Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. $600.00

“special deal only for someone with a cat”

“we want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well”

What happens if the cat is a good fit but the person isn’t? #catpeopleprobs

I had a hard time deciding which ones to share; some people have incredibly low standards of living…literally – several posts mentioned not being able to stand  up straight due to ceiling height, or lack thereof. It’s sad…but it’s a funny-sad.

HAPPY BELATED, CARO aka BABYLINE! El, MHM and I toasted to you last night. XOXO

Corgis are so happy, and their happiness makes me happy. (JBax)

Ok, this is me leaving. Safe travels to those traveling, and thoughts and prayers to those who have served or are serving our country. God bless our troops.

Memorial-Day

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Today is Picture Day!

Posted by AllieB on April 26, 2013

Happy Friday!! Instead of writing words, I posted pictures. There are ten photos, and then a bonus one so eleven total. Bon appétit!

1. This is where I am sitting right now.

photo 1

2. Meanwhile, someone in our Santa Monica office is sitting here #oh #neat

This is the view from a desk in our Santa Monica office #oh #neat

3. JTommLiv got an iPhone…

JTommLiv got an iPhone

4. Saturday’s sunset from Marion’s rooftop. I will never, ever tire of this view #IheartNY

Saturday's sunset from Marion's rooftop. I will never tire of the NYC skyline #vista

 5. I finally went to the Spotted Pig. Fleming and I shared this (and some pink wine) – it was everything I hoped it would be

photo 4

6. This is the block where I live. It’s like the set of my very own romantic comedy except not (yet)

photo 2

7. I’m going to AFRICA!!!! G Force and I are booking our tickets to Malawi this weekend. It is part goodwill, part adventure, and I am so excited. I did some goog’ing and learned that Malawi is far away. It will be winter when we’re there (July), so that’s a perk – for a second I was like, why am I going to Africa in July, but then I remembered the different hemisphere/opposite season thing. Der. The flight is 16+ hours…I’m gonna need to pack my eye mask for sure, or, as a co-worker helpfully suggested re: my unfortunate sleeping habits, “just put a bag over my head.”

20123

8. Before going to Africa I will turn 30. El and I went for a walk on the Westside Highway last night and I scouted out some potential spots for my big bday bash…I just love a good vista #nofilter #evenJerseylooksgood

photo 4

9. I guess it’s good thing we went for that walk…sometimes I revolt against the goals I set for myself. It’s very productive.

MYEQ Dashboard - Google Chrome 4262013 71628 AM.bmp

10. This might be a little weird because I have no idea who this person is (I got it off Buzzfeed) BUT I WANT TO BE HER #pileofpuppies #puppiesinapile

PILE of PUPPIES

Bonus #11. Let’s open up the vault: real life Picture Days of yore. 3rd Grade was pretty good, if I do say so myself. 4th Grade – not so much. I was at the height of my Marla Hooch phase…and it will come as no surprise that I no longer wanted to be called Allie, but Alex #identitycrisis #goBraves #firstpickforkickball

picstitch

Well that was fun. Pictures = easier than words. Have an AWESOME weekend!!! XOXOXO

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I beg your pardon

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2013

Everyone told me, “it’s not that the winters are so bad in New York, it’s that they last forever.” Everyone is right. And, while I appreciate the effort to play down the severity of the winters, that was a load of crap. Spring came this week, and then it left. The cookie has been dangled, and the cookie has been cruelly taken away. Today I am in an overcoat and boots and I have reached the END of my rope. The next week day morning I wake up to rain and gusts of wind at 40 degree temps, I am staying home. Just, that’s how it’s going to be.

When spring comes back for real I can’t wait to go the Frying Pan and to Smorgasburg (every weekend like 75 food vendors set up tents and sell their delish food items…I went last fall and had the best best BEST fried chicken and waffles I have ever had…literally. And there’s a beer garden. There’s nothing not to like), and take strolls along the High Line and see movies in Bryant Park and dine al fresco…one of my favorite things about the city is the way all the restaurants open up onto the sidewalk. The other evening I was walking in my ‘hood and it was all I could do to not reach down and snag a sweet potato fry off a table as I passed by. I didn’t, but I thought about it.

frying pan collage

 The Frying Pan is a bar/restaurant situated on two tug boats tied together on the Hudson River in Chelsea. It’s pretty rad. From top left: me and my bestest Juan last September; a sunny day on the patio; the two tug boats. There’s also all these cool art installations…but you do have to exercise some caution: the boats are still functioning boats, just tied up at dock, so when there are waves they move (that’s how boats work), and the bathrooms are down these very narrow and dark spiral stairs…it’s not ideal for the overserved.

So, this is random but worth sharing: I opened my SPAM the other day to see what was what in the online shopping realm (I have all my shopping emails sent to SPAM – out of sight out of mind is the idea, it’s not especially effective), and, amongst the Shopbops and the Gilts and the Amazons were two emails that kind of stood out.

The first was hard to miss: ALLIE BAXTER! YOU HAVE A STUPID FACE!

The second, slightly more subtle but no less insulting: Single and ready to mingle? Check out this new dating site for Senior Citizens!

Excuse me? I’m finding it hard not to take these personally – the first actually says my name, spelled correctly and everything, and the second, if I were really indulging in some self-pity, I could construe as portent of what’s to come. I get it, I’M TURNING THIRTY.

Brush it off, Baxter.

And now, for the news:

Melissa McCarthy hosted SNL last weekend and killed it. And the Weekend Update skit – which she wasn’t even in – was also hilarious. I laughed outloud a LOT. This sketch about a Pizza Business was a standout (I’ve watched this 2.5 times now, and it’s my new favorite thing), but you should prob go watch the whole episode – it’s onDemand if you didn’t record.

BOLO for this: Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns comes out on June 4. I did some research about whether or not anyone’s talked about a movie, and I learned that the Emily Blount character, Emily (skinny British lady who asks Andy if she’s attending a hideous skirt convention), is in it a lot…so I’m thinking the book was written with a movie in mind. That was smart, Andy was annoying and Emily was funny. Fingers crossed.

Carol the Elephant was  shot in a drive-by shooting in Mississippi yesterday. She’s expected to make a full recovery.

Where has Mischa Barton been, you’re wondering? I don’t actually know, but her grand re-entry to the tabloids was well-cataloged…and it’s not good.

Today is National Grilled Cheese Day!! I am celebrating this evening with Dinka and El and our good friends, Syrah and Cab Sav. Join us, won’t you?

Charlotte B Maines, my big sis, is running the Boston Marathon on Monday. This will be her 17th marathon. I can’t even. GOOD LUCK!

TGIF! Happy Weekend!! Bummer:

funny-Friday-13-Jason-sad

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I asked, and then I answered

Posted by AllieB on March 13, 2013

Name: BBT

Age: I am 29 years old. In sixty-seven days I am turning thirty, and in seventy days I am having a superfab thirtieth birthday party. Join me, won’t you? Actually, it’s going to be invite only…but maybe you’ll get one. K, we’ve got a lot to talk about this weekend.

Neighborhood: West Village

Occupation: I have a job at a company and I work in an office. I like it a lot, therefore I will not disclose the name so as not to link us in any way. I’m confident they’re not at all ashamed that I work here, but better safe than sorry…who knows – maybe I work for the CIA

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City is my favorite fictional New Yorker. I wish she was real.

miranda

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York? L’Artusi, Perilla, Pylos, the crab spring rolls in Grand Central Market…I have a new best meal like every day. Eating well is impossible to not do here

Do you give money to panhandlers? Sometimes and only when there’s music involved – like the guy who plays the accordion in the tunnel of the Bryant Park subway station during morning rush hour. And the guy on the 1 last week who was playing “Georgia On My Mind” on  his harmonica – I gave him $2.

What’s your drink? It might be easier to say what is not my drink, and that is white wine. It used to be just Chardonnay I didn’t like, but I’ve pretty much cut out all white varietals. White wine – blech

white wine

I can’t talk about wine without a shoutout to these two – see you soooon!

How often do you prepare your own meals? Eh. Once a week? I try to make something on Sunday that I can have during the week when I work late and don’t feel like making dinner…thus far I’ve accomplished this exactly zero times, so I guess when I said “once a week” just then I was fibbing. Sorry, Gaylen

What’s your favorite medication? Melatonin, maybe. Definitely not the sleeping aid my work friend gave me. Let me tell you something: when someone offers you no-name sleeping pill from Mexico and warns you to break it up into fourths, or smaller if possible, and to make sure you have a “loooooooong time” to sleep it off, it is in your best interest to decline. Trust me on this…me and Captain Obvious.

What’s hanging above your sofa? A big mirror. It is probably from West Elm

How much is too much to spend on a haircut? It depends where I am in my budget cycle. I almost walked into Great Clips the other day…Allie, NO!

When’s bedtime? Midnight

What do you hate most about living in New York? I am legitimately terrified that I’m either going to trip and fall into the path of an oncoming subway or that some loco person is going to push me.

Who is your mortal enemy? Taylor Swift; LeAnn Rimes; the dry cleaner on my corner that I swear closes when they see me coming…notably not mentioned: Hilary. Hilary is actually something of a hero today. (I’m not even going to make a remark about packing your ice skates because hell has frozen over – that’s how sincerely I mean it.)

When’s the last time you drove a car? Christmas. But I will this weekend!!! I miss driving.

#BuckheadBetty

BBiT: Buckhead Betty in Training. Hop in, y’all!

How has the Wall Street crash affected you? Yes

Where do you go to be alone? I think if you’re sans mobile device, you’re pretty much alone. I leave mine at home when I run errands sometimes. NYC can be very isolating even when you’re surrounded by peeps. I am reminded of my going away party when people kept playing “All By Myself” – kinda mean, looking back.

What makes someone a New Yorker? I don’t know the answer to this just yet…I do know this city is not for everyone, and I think you’d probably know pretty much instantly if wasn’t a good fit. Me – I knew right away that moving here was my best decision of all of my decisions. This doesn’t say much, given my history of decision-making, but it feels good to get at least one right.

The End. (Credit: NYMag 21 Questions)

Now for the other stuff:

This corgi saw himself in the mirror for the first time and I die:

mirror image_corgi

If you love Friends the TV show even half as much as I do, you will appreciate these two compilations of the best, most quotable quotes and scenes. (Part one, Part deux)

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs. This is very true and accurate and funny, and I already knew that dogs hate it when they’re asked them because Missy told me ages ago. She keeps me in the loop on stuff.

 “Where’s your bone?”

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs

I missed y’all last week, so I wanted to write early this week. I plan to return on Thursday. Until then!

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Not only is your fly open, there’s a pencil sticking out of it

Posted by AllieB on January 30, 2013

I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I am skipping around in a field of daises full of leaping puppies with cheesesteaks and red wine as faaaaar as the eye can see. And it’s not just today – lately I’ve found myself seeking out interaction with pretty much any and everyone – I never realized how much more interesting the day is if you talk to the guy at the bodega, or whomever. (NOTE: I would never - even if I’d just won the lottery and found out J Simps is giving birth to triplets - EVER initiate conversation with strangers  on the subway or train. That’s like the public transportation equivalent of a sanctuary.) On Friday, for instance, I talked to a guy in the elevator. He was wearing a suit, and he told me he didn’t know why he wore suits on Friday, but that it probably had something to do with his Catholic school upbringing. I agreed and then suggested that perhaps that explained a lot of other things as well – oh, but did we laugh!

There are myriad reasons as to why I am Animated (Annoying?) Allie today:

1. I’m going to AUSTIN on Friday!! Not only have I never been there, but I’ve never even been to Texas! Plus, I did some thinking, and this is my first non-wedding-related, non-family trip that I’ve taken since 2007, the occasional random lake/mountain/beach weekend notwithstanding. I guess I mean the first trip I’ve taken that required flight and days off. We’re staying here, dining here, and doing whatever else we please. BOLO for Insta-overload.

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

*Oops. This is a rendering and not a picture. Thanks, Hilary – I guess this is what it feels like when someone corrects your grammar. The website is much cooler, you can go to the link above if you want to see it in all its splendor. Looks like I got schooled by the internet.

2. I move into my apartment tomorrow. I am the world’s WORST mover and I seem to be continuing my streak. At least I’m not slinging furniture down several flights of stairs and doing twelve – TWELVE – trips between my apartment and parents’ home to move all my crap. That was last summer, and that was the worst. This move is pretty much all clothes, and I’m shipping most of it. Assuming UPS picks up my boxes and they can be delivered to my apartment without me being there. I fear this could be a flawed system and it’s possible I’ll be wearing the same clothes for a week while I figure out what they’ve done with my items.

totally under control

My room on Monday – totally under control

3. These are back:

kate for the win

4. Amazon is sending me new sunglasses AND giving me credit for the order they messed up…twice.

Jabroni - nope; Bug Eyed - who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

Jabroni – eek; Bug Eyed – nope, but who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

The ones I want are a combo of those two…normal lens, normal size. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love Amazon.

5. This Jack Donaghy insult generator – also credit for today’s title. We’re gonna miss you Liz Lemon.

6. Truf.

i-heart-ny

 Oh yeah. Happy Birthdays to Kara & Courtney! Remember when we all went to Trois like six years ago? Memories…

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