Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘newsworthy news’

Amanda Knox was up to no good; get me a shot of snake juice

Posted by AllieB on October 5, 2011

Let’s talk about current events. Amanda “Foxy Knoxy” Knox was acquitted for murder in Perugia, Italy this week and is now back at home in Seattle. She and her manfriend, Rafaelle, along with a third guy, Rudy, were charged with murdering her roommate, but the court has overturned the verdict and now she’s free. Et cetera.

There are few issues here:

-never have a manfriend named Rafaelle – things will always end poorly

-whether or not Amanda actually killed her roommate, she was obviously mixed up in some uncouth activity over there. It’s like when UsWeekly publishes a “THEY’RE BROKEN UP” story and it’s immediately refuted but then weeks or months later they confirm that it actually was true. People are getting their information somewhere, and rumors are almost always based on truth. Things can obviously can get blown out of proportion, but something is amiss here…if I were Foxy Knoxy’s mom I’d be all, “Welcome home, sweetie!” and, “Yay you’re acquitted!” and then after a couple of weeks I’d be like, “Wait, what the crap were you doing over there that you got charged with slicing your roommate’s throat??” Ya know??? Just sayin – she’s kind of a creep.

-she’s going to have a very hard time finding a new roommate

I’m no Leila Ann/Nancy Grace, and I get tired of researching facts so forgive me if I’ve left out something important. I tried to be vague.

Last night I enjoyed good company, mediocre wine, thin crust ‘za and a most delicious salad with Sedge, Dani, and YKenna. I really enjoyed that salad. It was spinach leaves, goat cheese, craisins, pears, red onion, and this dressing. Tasty!

I LOVE RON SWANSON. Images courtesy of this GIF compilation.

To do: the Futurebirds are opening for Panic this weekend at the Verizon Amphitheater. Are you familiar with the Futurebirds? They’re awesome.

Ok, one more. I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

On notice: Nancy Grace. Not on notice: PUPPIES!

Posted by AllieB on June 7, 2011

It’s cool to be in the know about current events, and as a purveyor of coolness I bring you a very special BBT: guest author and the newly named Crime Correspondent, Leila Ann. Nancy Grace, you better watch it because Leila Ann is coming for you/your job/your coiffure.

I watch the Today Show religiously and am really good at reading article headlines, so I have a general idea about a lot of things, but Leila…she takes it like 988 steps further, especially re: heinous acts of crime and those who commit them. This Casey Anthony trial is completely out of control, IMO. Leila Ann, evidently, thinks so as well. Even if you don’t know anything about the case in question, you should read this because it is hilar (NOT the subject matter – the verbiage):

On day 1 Casey’s defense lawyer,  Jose Baez attempted (to NO avail, IMO) to claim that Casey did NOT kill Caylee but that Caylee drowned in the family pool and that George Anthony (Caylee’s grandfather) helped dispose of the body.  The defense also claims that George molested Casey as a child leaving her emotionally scarred, thus the reasoning behind Casey not telling a SINGLE person for ONE month that her daughter was missing.

Here are my thoughts regarding Casey’s epic failure in selecting an adequate defense:

  1. Jose Baez received his degree to practice law from Strayer University
  2. I’m more apt to believe a mass email that upon forwarding to 10 friends within 1 minute, I will receive success, love, money and a unicorn.
  3. Early childhood molestation cannot be physically proven years after the fact…the only possible evidence would be for Casey to take the stand (if this does happen, you can find me at the Orlando Court House battling it out for one of the 60 seats available for public viewers).  Looking at Casey’s track record it’s clearly evident she is a compulsive liar, so yes, PLEASE put Casey on the stand.
  4. Lastly, by introducing such an outlandish theory the defense is going to have one helluva time proving their case.  Despite some holes in the prosecutors case, the defense could have potentially used the “accidental death” cover-up. However, Baez (evidently, fresh off an acid-trip) went WAY too far with his convoluted theory and has almost ZERO evidential proof.

If you’ve turned the news on at any point in the last 3 weeks, your probably aware that a lot more has taken place. If you’d like to know more, all you have to do is ask…I can go on for days.  If I ever was elected to Congress and needed to filibuster, this would be my topic.

So, there you have it. We can now all watch with breath that is baited for how this pans out. Thank you, Leila, your wisdom and insight is always appreciated, especially in arenas about which I know so little. I’m happy to bring on other correspondents…MP – if you’d like to write about the wonder that are the fried goat cheese balls at Ecco, that might be acceptable. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life…and BBT is nothing if not muy caliente.

I’ve been setting up my home office the past few days, and it’s coming along nicely. Upon learning that Comcast couldn’t come hook up my internet until Thursday of this week and would charge me an extra 10 bones to do so, I decided to pick up the materials from the Comcast Office off Chamblee Tucker and install it myself. Allie, no. Between the time spent driving out to Chamblee, the waiting in line, the insufficient items provided, my two trips to Best Buy and the 17 mins on the phone with Customer Service, I’m thinking I should have just left it to the professionals….although a professional could not give me this self-satisfied sense of ownership I feel when I look at the blinking lights of my router – you can’t put a price on that. I’ve rearranged my furniture like five times and I’ve yet to figure out a pleasing layout…I have a date with IKEA this week. That, surely, will go well.

THIS WEEK:

  • Tuesday 6/7: Howell Mill Food Park hosts a myriad selection of food trucks, including TEX’S TACOS (here’s this week’s truck schedule), amongst others…
  • ADOPT A PUPPY!!! These three SO-ADORABLE-I-want-to-SQUEEEEEZE-THEM black lab puppies are in a foster home for now, but they need permanent homes…..this is through Atlanta Lab Rescue, and I’m being totally serious: be a hero and go adopt a puppy.

Posted in Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

We’re not dumb!

Posted by AllieB on January 25, 2011

GREAT news: according to an article in The Atlantic, a new book by Stephen Braum, Buzz: The Science and Lore of Alcohol and Caffeine has concluded that “… alcohol does many things to the brain, one thing it clearly doesn’t do is wipe out neurons indiscriminately.” Well, I don’t know what that means, but, based on the supporting text of the aforementioned article, this guy Braum is saying that alcohol does NOT kill brain cells. Super! Those of you who’ve been blaming booze for your mental deficiencies over the years – better find a new excuse.

The article does mention lots of other bad stuff that alcohol can do – such as harming the brain’s ability to form new memories – but I pretty much quit reading after the good part. The link’s above if you’re just THAT curious to find out what maladies your lifestyle might be causing you.

On that note, I would like to mention a few of the Million Dollar Ideas pertaining to the beverage industry. I bet the people responsible for these creations are very, very smart with TONS of brain cells, but they probably can’t remember what they had for breakfast. Actually, I’m a bit worried about the guy who invented the Beer Pager (pic #3)…he might need to take it down a notch.

Meet & Greet: The Wine Rack and The Beer Belly. Bonus – worn in the winter time, the Rack and Belly could serve as an added layer of insulation against the elements (gizmodo.com)!

There is nothing more annoying than a wine spill in the purse…problem: solved.

Ok, this is overkill. I get it for your keys, but for your beverage…just go get a new one?

Posted in Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted by AllieB on December 6, 2010

I have read two articles of significance today, one of which I found pleasing, yet hardly shocking, and the other I found incredibly disturbing and extremely shocking.

The first is just a different spin on this ilk of article that comes out every now and again that serves to bolster the morale of those of us with vices. “Bad Habits That Can Boost Your Health” was released by AOL, and heralds the effects of cursing, playing your music too loud, and wine.

While experts could not pinpoint the exact explanation, lead researcher Dr. Richard Stephens and his team believe that throwing around the F-bomb may trigger the flight-or-fight response, which can increase heart rate and aggression and help the body cope with pain.

I find that using a curse word when someone really pisses you off is also helpfull – it might not be physical pain I’m dealing with, but it certainly helps me focus on the physical pain I’d like to inflict upon them. In addition to the positive impacts of expletives, the article also reports that listening to loud music can help boost your memory, and a glass of wine/day will help keep the doctor away. GTK.

Conversely, to counterract this good news, Charlotte K Bax just sent me a link to an alarming article in the NYTimes entitled, “In Kentucky, Noah’s Ark Theme Park Planned.”

The park will include a 100-foot Tower of Babel, a first-century Middle Eastern village and a journey through the Old Testament, with special effects depicting Moses, the 10 plagues and the parting of the Red Sea. For children, there will be a petting zoo, live bird and animal shows and a play area with ziplines and climbing nets — all Bible-themed. Even the trainer, Dan Breeding, will present animal acts with a Gospel message about creation.

In addition, animals will actually live in pens on the ark – but only youth-aged ones, they assure us.

“We think that God would probably have sent healthy juvenile-sized animals that weren’t fully grown yet, so there would be plenty of room,” said Mr. Zovath, a retired Army lieutenant colonel heading the ark project. “We want to show how Noah would have taken care of them, taken care of waste management, taken care of water needs and food needs.”

Ah, but of course. Waste management in the time of Noah is certainly crucial to the development and enhancement of America’s youth. What’s more, the ministry behind this whole idea is the same group that also founded the Creation Museum, a mere 45 miles away from the Ark Theme Park, whose displays feature “…dioramas designed to debunk evolution show humans and dinosaurs coexisting peacefully on an earth created by God in six days.  The ministry, Answers in Genesis, believes that the earth is only 6,000 years old — a controversial assertion even among many Bible-believing Christians.”

I feel really uncomfortable. I’m also delving into topics I never wanted to really touch on here at BBT, so we’ll move along to the Ugly…IIIII’m breezy!

Happy Holidays from Taylor Where the Hell is My Mom-sen!!

Rachel: OH MY GOD!!!

Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Make Someone Uncomfortable Day

Posted by AllieB on November 18, 2010

Fortunately, this is real. Tomorrow, November 19, is the 3rd Annual Make Someone Uncomfortable Day. I’m writing about it today so we all have time to prepare for what awkwardness we might inflict upon our nearest and dearest. There are many people I know whose sheer existence on the planet makes me uncomfortable, so they’re all set – for those of us with slightly more adroit social skillz, here are some ideas from the Facebook page devoted to this noteworthy occasion…(source: sf.funcheap.com, credit: Leila)

It seems that people are posting how they plan to celebrate MSUD on this FB page. The first one I saw distresses me greatly.

I’m going to breastfeed in public:-)

Unless it is Apocalypse Day, that is unacceptable.  Pardon my tirade, but BREAST FEEDING IN PUBLIC IS NOT, NOR WILL IT EVER BE, OKAY. I do not understand why people do not understand this. Sorry – next:

this is funny because tomorrow is also diversity day at our school

Ok, that made me feel uncomfortable….

when you go grocery shopping, instead of shopping from the shelves, start shopping from other peoples shopping carts while they are looking on the shelves. make sure you are in a busy aisle with people looking…

That’s actually kind of funny, and it also goes along nicely with my Grocery Store Shame.

If I had an extra $5k to drop, I would buy this large structured fur headdress because it obviously makes people uncomfortable – both wearer and viewer, apparently. I seriously have not stopped laughing since Bailey sent it to me earlier. What the WHAT is that thing!?

from: SSENSE.COM

ATTN: Mary Cath – given your low threshold for awkwardness, perhaps you should consider staying home. Pal – you could probably be the face of Make Someone Uncomfortable Day – I’ll see if I can nominate you or something. Buff – if you’re looking for an idea as to how you might make people feel awkward, consider doing a split in public; it worked like a charm last Saturday. Leila – it is fitting on many, many levels that you are the one who informed us of MSUD. Thank you for being you.

BOLO for bumbling, bungling encounters…!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »