Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘moody Tuesday’

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ALRIGHT.

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2013

Be advised: if you’re on my List or are at all guilty of irking me, today is not your day.

1. Jessica Simpson was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night. I can’t even…

I am speechless; I am without speech. First, easy on the Botox. Second, it is possible to dress in a flattering, appropriate manner in which you accentuate your best attributes and disguise your flaws. Jessica, who has the demonstrated mental function of a wet mop, has never heard this message from Captain Obvious and chose to wear that instead. Of course she did.

2. I went postal at the Post Office. The Post Office has now trumped SantaCon as my Least Favorite Thing. There was an incident yesterday morning involving myself, two post office workers, a roll of Priority Mail tape, and a roll of Standard Clear Shipping Tape. Long story short: one of the workers repeatedly gave me blatantly wrong, flat-out-erroneous information regarding the kind of tape I needed to use for my shipping needs. This resulted first in confusion, then frustration, and ultimately snowballed into blind, unadulterated RAGE. I honestly think the situation could have escalated to the point of law enforcement intervention, but, as though I were starring in my very own segment from Chicken Soup for the Soul, a good samaritan appeared out of nowhere and shared with me her roll of Clear Shipping Tape. I nearly burst into tears I was so grateful. I then realized that I acted like a total f’ing lunatic may have overreacted a teeny bit, and I apologized to the people with whom I’d had issue…one of them, anyway, the other one got the stink eye she deserved. Having worked in the service industry several times during my adult life,  I know how much people suck and how hard it is to be nice all of the time, and I know that I can air on the side of impatient, but this….this was unfounded.

3. Was The Duchess on glue when she approved her first official portrait? HATES IT. I’m going to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and let this one slide…hopefully it will find a nice home in the basement. Or maybe in Pippa’s room…muahaha

kate-middleton-portrait

Kate, why are you POSSESSED BY THE DEMONS??

Ok, enough complaining and senseless lambasting – I got it off my chest, and I feel much better… As I mentioned, I joined Equinox (Equinox is a gym) and I’ve been going a lot – I even went on Saturday. To the gym. To a spin class. On a Saturday. In efforts to keep things interesting, I am trying every single one of their class offerings, many of which are brand new information. Case in point: “ViPR” aka “vitality-performance-reconditioning.” Intrigued by this collection of healthy-sounding words, I went to the 6:30 AM class last Wednesday morning….and here’s how that went (cut and pasted directly from The Serve).

So, this morning I went to the most nonsense class ever, I don’t even know how to describe. Apparently it’s not only new to Equinox, it’s new to the United States, so when I was mega-failing (flailing?) that made me feel a little better. There was a really really pretty girl in my class – she looked like Lucy Hale on Pretty Little Liars w the dark hair and thick eyebrows only much prettier. Prettier, taller, skinnier. I’m telling you, this girl had an a** that would NOT quit. She was even coordinated. She did not enhance my fitness experience.

I’m just glad she wasn’t in the locker room the same time I was…could’ve been awkward for everyone.

Anyway, the focus of the class is this very crazy huge, weighted black pipe/tube that you sling around. I am laughing thinking about it. It was really hard. There’s also a step box; I think I did 1,000 squats. At the end, the instructor sought me out and told me I didn’t “totally suck”, which I found encouraging, until I saw him give Lucy Hale’s hotter twin a high five and a, “You go, gurl!”

I won’t be returning.

This was pretty much how it went down

This was pretty much the jist

I know I’m not talking about resolutions, but one of my non-resolutions is to write more in 2k13…quantity>quality??

Posted in Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The skies are angry

Posted by AllieB on May 22, 2012

Summer has arrived. Not the wet, hot blanket heat that we can look forward to in a month or so, but the totally insane, violent storms that come in out of nowhere, like the one last night. I was cruising down Peachtree, noticing how weird it was that it was raining in the Northbound lanes but not the Southbound ones (hmm strange), when all of a sudden I was blindsided by walnut-sized hail. What the hail!?* Anyway, I’m just glad Whole Foods has that underground parking option, and I never thought I’d say anything positive about a parking deck.

I’ve been getting around recently: here, read about one of Atlanta’s newest restaurants, Campagnolo in Midtown.

Located at the corner of 10th and Piedmont, Campagnolo is a festive hub of a restaurant with a chill yet “we’re new and hip” vibe. It’s longer than it is wide, but the patio and main dining area are pleasantly spacious and open. I felt a bit claustie as I made my way back to the bathroom, but that could also have something to do with the wall-to-wall humans packed in for a birthday party. In the grand tradition of myself, I arrived 30 minutes late and missed the apps, but I understand there was a homemade focaccia with baked goat cheese that was excellent. What I thought was excellent was the rose, the Le Cengle from France, and I also enjoyed my Zucchini Piccata. I didn’t take pictures because it hsa been requested that I not do that, but it was good. It had capers, and I love capers. Sissy and Dani split an orecchiette dish with spicy homemade sausage and cherry tomatoes, the portions of which were quite large, especially since they split the $10 small size. One of the highlights of my night was hearing Dani order this.

We had a lot of fun. There’s free valet parking, which is good because this little block of Midtown gets real saucy on Friday evenings….

everyone say, 'goat cheeese'

If I want to be a restaurant food critic, I’m going to have start eating the restaurant’s food…

Speaking of cheese, this past weekend someone – I believe it was Boda, and I apologize if I am misappropriating credit where it’s due – posed the question, “why can’t cheese be a power food?” Honestly, why can’t it? I see no reason why a bowl of queso can’t have the same perks as a big bushel of broccoli, except for the obvious fact that it’s impossible. I just wish things had gone differently from the get-go re: allocation of nutrition. Thanks a lot, science.

I love you Liz Lemon: click here for a very funny photographic timeline that chronicles the tumultuous history of Liz’s locks. Remember when she studied abroad in Germany?? It’s like a quick review of all the best episodes.

OH! The power of social media has finally paid off for me, personally: I bought the $34 year subscription to UsWeekly yesterday, and then went about sharing my personal link via various social media channels (The Twitter, FB), and if three people clicked thru on my link and purchased it then I got my deal at no charge…well, and this surprises no one, it worked and now I can look forward to the weekly gift of celebrity smut for a full 52 weeks for free. Sometimes I really am my mother’s daughter.

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CARO!! And thank you for allowing me to filch your words for today’s title. I will repay you in pizza tonight. XOXO.

Have a great day – hopefully one that has more direction and focus than this here blog post. I’m off to Flywheel…hayulp.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

#BBTproblems

Posted by AllieB on May 15, 2012

So far as I can tell, everyone I know has been going on vacation. And not even wedding-related vacations, but actual, legitimate holidays. I do not prefer this. If one more person checks in at Have You Ever Seen Water More Blue Resort or How Delicious Do These Frozen, Fruity Beverages Look Cay, I’m going to quit Facebook. Obviously, I’m not quitting Facebook, but I really am over it. WHERE IS MY VACATION. Mom, don’t answer that. For now I’ll have to settle for being the host with the most of a raging pity party – check your email for registry info.

To console myself I shall revist my own trips of yore:

 This time in 2k6 BBT was visiting Phi Phi Island, Thailand. I wonder what that girl’s name is with whom I’m drinking the vino..? I know she was from Dublin. Regardless, this really isn’t helping – nor did your email about Australia, Talbott, so thank you for that. (The part about the hole in the ground facilities did a little bit, however.)

I can’t make myself sit thru entire episodes of The Bachelorette, especially when they feature snoozefests like Emily Maynard (she’s pretty, there’s no denying that, but she, much like Taylor Swift, just make me want to take a nap), so I direct you to Melissa F’s blog/recap about last night’s premiere on Fonty Fest. I very much enjoyed reading it even though I really had no context for her commentary. This is great because now I will never feel the need actually watch it. Thank you, Melissa!

Speaking of vacations, for those of you taking trips in the near future, bite me check out these books: for those who enjoy lighter stories geared towards a more feminine audience, I recommend The Opposite of Me by Sarah Pekkanen. It’s chick-lit for sure, but it’s well-written and engaging…I laughed, I cried, etc etc. (Speaking of chick-lit, Elin has a new book coming out this summer..!) For both genders, I recommend this much darker, sordid, absolutely enthralling mystery: Defending Jacob by William Landay. Suffice it to say, it is not your average best-seller mystery, and once I got into it I couldn’t put it down. I’m still reeling from the ending.

Lastly, I’ve decided that I can let go of my Kate Middleton obsession, because I think I might just do the whole princess thing on my own. While always cute in an endearing-ginger kind of way, these recent pics of Prince Harry pretty much solidified his swoon-worthy status…kissing babies: check; kissing puppies: check. Notably not present: his Nazi costume (which I hope he’s retired permanently…) Oh, plus he’s playing polo. Helllooooo, Prince Harry.

You come here to me. I promise I’ll never say “swoon-worthy” again.

By the way, I recently learned what I’d do for a Klondike Bar: change out of comfy cozy pajamas into somewhat presentable garb, put on SHOES, descend several flights of stairs, and walk a block down Peachtree in icky drizzle at a late-night hour to the glowing mecca that is my local Walgreen’s. Oh, and pay for it in change. For the record: it wasn’t worth it.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Taking one for the team

Posted by AllieB on May 8, 2012

HELLO!! Let’s jump right in.

Although posing for wedding pics can be a real pain, the end result is always fun to browse – the actual event was months ago and things have started to get blurry, then all of a sudden you have 1,772 pictures to relive the entire day…for better or for worse. What this most recent set of images from the Baxter-Maines nuptials has learned me is that I ought to avoid the camera unless I am intentionally posing. Now, I’m not totally vain and I realize that these weddings photos aren’t about me, and it doesn’t really matter what I look like – it’s not my day – but it’s become too glaring of an issue to ignore. Plus, this blog is about what I want it to be about, and today is about me teaching you what not to do when taking pictures:

1. Show any sort of raw emotion.

Char seeing my dad for the first time. Seriously, BBT, get it together. Lucy looks on serenely; I could very possibly be on the verge of collapse.

2. Do the running man on the dancefloor:

Mom looks cute and breezy. I look like a hoss.

3. Sport any kind of hair-do that showcases abnormally large ears (I GREW INTO THEM) or bedeck oneself in a drab, ill-fitting, button-down mock turtlenecks. WTF is that.

Allie & Otis Nixon, 1993..? I think it was ’93. It was post-over the wall catch, pre-departure from the Braves. Whatevs – we were instant kindreds.

But, seriously – don’t do the running man on the dance floor, and keep the singing along to a minimum. I decided to leave out the pics of my Steven Tyler impression – it was simply too cruel to share…for the sake of both my peepers and yours. Note to Char/Mom: be kind when assembling the wedding album.

I think I want to start writing freelance..like for local publications. Specifically: restaurant reviews. Specifically: restaurant reviews where the publisher foots the bill and I am treated like Julia Roberts in My Best Friends Wedding. Should someone have an in on that, holla. And I’m kidding about the diva part, as the photos above so clearly demonstrate: BBT is no diva.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Eat, Watch, Ridicule…

Posted by AllieB on January 31, 2012

Get it? It’s like Eat, Pray, Love but not. What day is it – Tuesday? I hate Tuesdays. Nothing original has ever happened on BBT on a Tuesday – I find Thursdays are the best days for unique material – so I’ll just link to a bunch of stuff that other people have already said and/or done…including that of my own work.

First seen on BBT in May 2k11. Sorry I’m not sorry.

EAT (when it opens): ATLiens: chef/restauranteur extraordinaire Kevin Rathbun is opening a “small plates steak” place in ADAC in Peachtree Hills this summer: KR Steak Bar. I’m excited because I love steak and who doesn’t appreciate a good, old-fashioned rhyming name. Welcome to the neighborhood, KR.

WATCH: Kristen Bell is funny. She reminds me of MPvZB (a compliment) and MCL says she was great in Veronica Mars. She’s been on the circuit lately touting House of Lies, a new show on Showtime of which I am somewhat fond (it’s kind of ranchy?), but here she is on Ellen…and she’s having a sloth-related meltdown. I don’t quite get it, but I like what I’m seeing – she has very little shame. Obviously need sound:

credit: Y Kenna.

ALSO WATCH: Do you like musicals?!?! Tina, I know you do. Unless you live in a hole, you’ve probably seen the trailer for the show, Smash, that premiers next Monday Feb 6. Ever resourceful, I watched the first episode last week OnDemand, but it’s also available for free on iTunes. I liked it! I’m losing you, I can already tell, so that’s all I’ll say about it – but check it out.

TAKE THAT, KATHERINE HEIGL: according to this article, “experts” are saying her career is over. Good riddance, I say – I find her incredibly obnox, not to mention a very one-note talent. The best she’s ever made it on my list is “slightly less annoying than her most annoying” and that’s not very promising.

I hope your day isn’t suicidal. TTFN!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

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