Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘K’

F is for Fur

Posted by AllieB on March 13, 2014

Hello. I was sorting through my closet recently, and I was sad to realize I probably wouldn’t have occasion to wear my fur vest again this season. Well aren’t I the lucky one because today dawned 18 degrees with 30mph winds… I’ll probably be sporting this thing thru May. Happy Memorial Day love BBT and her vest.

I digress. Let’s get to the heart of today’s relevant matters:

1. GET YOUR GD GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AWAY FROM ME

2. Atlanta was excellent. It made me really excited for spring up here…I still believe in seasons, and Mother Nature will reward me for my loyalty.

atl collage From top left:

  • this is something fun you can do in Snapchat – add your mph as you snap! This was taken on a stroll around Chastain Park. #haulingA #tryharder #grannycangofaster
  • Silly Sally!! She was an absolute delight, and a very willing participant in this photo (BBT: do something about your hairs)
  • ATL as seen from Casa di K via the skillz of Professional Snapper, A
  • Ok, this isn’t ATL, it was on the subway the other morning – but is that not B.D. Wong?? I’ve been watching a lot of Law & Order: SVU recently, but I’m pretty sure it’s him…

3. BIG news: I have a new favorite mascara…! My gold standard L’Oreal Voluminous will always have a place in my makeup bag, but I recently purchased L’Oreal Voluminous Butterfly Mascara because who could resist a “revolutionary butterfly brush” that will give my lashes a “winged-out effect.” Turns out – it actually does what it says! I curl my lashes 9 out of 10 times before putting on mascara, but some mornings I’m like, “ain’t nobody got time for that.” The technologically advanced makeup brush really did extend the outer corners of my lashes while providing the usual 6x my normal volume. It absolutely does not replace an eyelash curler, but for those mornings when you just can’t handle that extra, 3 second step, it gets the job done.

l-oreal-paris-voluminous-butterfly-mascara

4. Hello, PornBurger. The craziest thing is that this dude makes all these up himself – I will pay him $1 million to open a restaurant. Or maybe we can just get married?

pornburger_thefullmounty

 oh hey.

5. WHERE IS THAT AIRPLANE? Seriously though – where is it? This is beyond bizarre.

It doesn’t even feel like a Thursday – it feels like a horrible parallel universe version of Thursday that lasts 72 hours and all you want is that glass of wine you’ve legitimately earned (for once) and you can see it but you can’t reach it…. That doesn’t even make sense. I gotta get out of here. Suffice it to say, I am ready for the weekend.

ready to party

 Yep. Happy Weekend from BBT and her vest

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The 8th Sign of the Apocalypse

Posted by AllieB on October 31, 2013

It is neither famine nor earthquake, or any of that other apocalyptic stuff, that has me concerned…it is the confirmed, reputably-reported WINE SHORTAGE. I was hesitant to write about this – I imagine droves of people causing riots at liquor stores, brawling over who gets the last case of The Pinot Project. Perhaps not, but you better believe when this all becomes a real thing, I will be prepared and you will be thirsty.

There’s just not enough wine in the world, says Morgan Stanley, and the problem is only going to get worse.

I feel like a ghost just passed thru me – that is some scary stuff.

Speaking of scary….HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I have no costume, and I feel like Scrooge. Maybe I should have dressed up as Scrooge?? I couldn’t get excited about anything, and now I feel left out. Woe is me. At least some people get it right…herewith, my two favorite costumes, ever:

The Donk as Werewolf of London. I am terrified yet fascinated

The Donk as Werewolf of London. Incredible

WaWa never disappoints...Bone Appetit (credit: Swardina)

WaWa never disappoints…Bone Appetit! (credit: Swardina)

Haters gonna hate: Blake Lively is not a new addition to My List. I have accepted her hotness – she’s really so attractive one can’t even be jealous; she’s inhuman. However, I can fault her for being a moron, and I think it would be in her best interest to stop talking. Stand there with your glorious hair, pouty pout, the bod that defies science, and keep that yapper shut. Blake’s been chosen as the new L’Oreal spokesperson and recently had a publicist-free interview with Vogue U.K. about her beauty/fashion/livelihood tips.

I don’t really need a personal trainer, or watch what I eat. I can’t start the day without a hot chocolate, or finish it without a few squares of dark chocolate. Its good for my mood!

Words we can all live by, truly.

A&K came last weekend, and it was the best. We ate delicious meals (Market Table & Locanda Verde were highlights) and laughed a lot and Amy took selfies. I’m a big fan of the hometown team…

BBT - K - A - E Rock - Lady Liberty

BBT – K – A – E Rock – Lady Liberty

Today is the 31st of October, so tomorrow is the first of November. That is whack. Man, I don’t write for one week and totally lose all my mojo…I’m just really shaken up by this wine shortage.

#mojo

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Anything you can do, I can do almost or equally as well

Posted by AllieB on October 3, 2013

I’ve mastered the subways; I emerge from underground and know instinctively which way is N/S/E/W; you should see me weave thru the herds of cattle throngs of people on the sidewalk; I stuck out my tongue at a cab driver last week when he violated my right of way – let’s face it, y’all, I’m a New Yawker.

alexandra

a saavy city girl from the very beginning. that’s right – GIRL

While I think we can all agree these are noteworthy accomplishments, I’ve still yet to conquer my Everest: mastering the art/science/I think it might be magic of making dinner reservations. I spent a good chunk of time this week trying to find two restaurants that will impress my high-brow foodie friends, A and K, when they come to visit, and I’m getting the proverbial talk-to-the-hand at every place I’ve tried. I mean, this is like a month in advance! Evidently no one A) knows who I am or B) is aware that I manage a very dated and irrelevant restaurant guide to Atlanta. K&A, how do you feel about dining at 5:30? Actually, wait: who needs restaurants – we’re all talented chefs, why don’t we just cook our own meals!?! And let’s be sure not to have any wine at all.

what would happen if we did either of those things

what would happen if we did either of those things

Obviously, none of us would ever find ourselves in this sort of situation, and I want to be very clear that I am NOT condoning such behavior, but when I saw this I thought I’d better share: The Rules for Calling in Sick When You’re Actually Hungover. Upon completion I found myself wanting to seek out Captain Obvious so I could thank him for sharing such brand new information, but who am I to judge – let’s see what I’ve got:

1. Mind over matter. I am a strong believer in this: stop wallowing and get over it. I am lucky not to get the voms when I am overserved, so I’m sure this is easier said than done…but most of the time I feel like people are just being big babies.

2. Water: it’s not a myth. Water before, during, and after your ill-advised outing will help tremendously. And cold Vitamin Water Zero in the morning is like nectar of the gods.

3. A lot of people say exercise. Me, not so much

4. Oh. I was supposed write a list about how to call in sick when you’re hungover. I don’t really have any tips on that for I hath ne’er done such a thing.

5. Cpt Obvs: 1, BBT: 0

But seriously: drink water.

Ok, this is weird, right? Mediocre-hurdler-turned-bobsledding-hopeful, Lolo Jones, is trying to gain 60 lbs to make “bobsled weight.” Her daily diet includes two 1,365 protein shakes and FOUR double bacon cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. This approach seems flawed. She is literally going to turn into a double bacon cheeseburger…literally. Ehhh, Lolo makes me uncomf – she seems like she’s kind of nuts, if not a little bit delusional:

“My abs are still there,” she said. “I’m still cut, just super solid.”

Yeah, a super solid double bacon cheeseburger…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, G FORCE!!!!! Remember that time we went to Pakistan? Such adventures we’ve had…I love you!!

incognito in Lahore

incognito in Lahore. also, barefoot. ew

TGIT! Feels good to be back on sched…truthfully, I’ve had a whole week of Thursdays, but I’m glad everyone else is now on my same page.

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The arsonist has oddly shaped feet

Posted by AllieB on August 6, 2013

Happy August 6th! Do you feel as I do, that 2k13 is going by super fast? This summer especially – it’s been a big one: I turned 30…went to Africa…I joined Snapchat…Georgia football kicks off in 24 days…things just keep happening! The mind reels.

To segue from my African adventures to just good ole normal weekly BBT posts, here is a bunch of random stuff – pop culture and what have you.

Watching: Orange is the New Black (exclusively on Netflix). I guess I should say “watched” instead of implying it’s something I’m still doing…I’m already finished. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it’s good – something to note is that it’s created by Jenji Kohan, who brought us the cluster that was Weeds. Do keep in mind that I’m not always right about things and that I often retract my opinions – hey, I’m flaky. But today, right now: BBT says to tune in. Also, look at this list of 23 Surprising Facts about OitNB – I think it might sell it even more.

I happened upon this last night on my yog along the Hudson River…

I saw this exactly as you see it - no enhancement. How?! Sometimes Mother Nature really nails it

I saw this then exactly as you see it now – no enhancement. How?! Sometimes Mother Nature really nails it

Reading: Suffice it to say, I’ve had some time on my hands recently to get through a few books. God bless the wonder that is the Kindle. Here, I even ranked them.

1. Where’d You Go Bernadette – I lol’ed a lot; it’s not your typical novel format, but I LOVED it

2. Beautiful Ruins – modern day movie business combined with 1960’s Italy – it works, I liked this

3. The Engagements – really like J. Courtney Sullivan, this one tracks intertwining stories over several decades

4. The Silent Wife – the dissolution of a relationship handled in a rather interesting way…this, along with many other books, has been heralded as the “next Gone Girl” – I’m not saying that it is, but the comparison didn’t bother as much as it usually does

5. The Cuckoo’s Calling – this crime mystery penned under J.K. Rowling’s pseudonym is really good – I’m always skeptical of authors writing under different names, but this is a page-turner

6. War Brides  – WWII-era historical fiction

What not to read: Revenge Wears Prada. I wanted to quit after like 8 pages, but I forced myself to stick it out for 60 more before I gave it up altogether. Andy is the least likable character ever, and I found myself wanting to go find her and yell at her, and then maybe shove her around a little. Skip it. Fortunately it has not affected my undying devotion to Devil Wears Prada, the movie. That’s all.

Also, I’m going to do a better job managing my Goodreads account – I just downloaded the app! – so if you’re interested in more suggestions you can go here instead of writing me emails (Caro, you’re not the only one). Bookmark it or something. I am interested in reading some more non-fiction and biographies/memoirs, so you may send me emails with suggestions for those.

News from my alter-ego, Alessandra: the discovery of this mascara, VOLUMINOUS by L’Oreal (grey tube w gold cap), is the best thing that’s happened to me in my 15 or so years of wearing makeup. It’s better than Diorshow, 1/4 of the price…pizza for everybody!

SPOTTED: Hugh Jackman and I were at Equinox last Wednesday at 545 am, getting our days started off right. We made eye contact and he smiled – he was smiling at everyone, and my goodness but is he handsome. Then, a couple of hours later as I sat on my desk and ate Fage yogurt with granola, I looked up, and – whaddya know – it’s Hugh on Good Morning America. The following evening K and I (K was in town!!!) saw Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) from Modern Family and his new husband at Commerce. We considered taking a pic with them until we saw some podunk tourists doing it, so we instead engaged his sweet husband in a convo while he waited for Jesse to finish up with silly people who wanted a photo with the famous person. I hope you’ll note that both of these celeb encounters occurred without me doing anything bone-headed. With age does come maturity??

Blindsided by: I am still recovering from the shock that Kate gave birth to a boy. It hadn’t even occurred to me that this was a possibility: Kate would have a princess and she would have hair just as glorious as her mum’s. After some thought, I realized how it was totally typical of classy, level-headed Kate to go ahead and get the heir-to-the-throne out of the way, thereby eradicating any potential pressure or undue criticism from the Royal Fam or the brutal UK tabloids. Well done you, Duchess, on controlling your own biological settings.

dang

this, them, her..

I wish I wrote this: fellow FOMO victim Will Welch offers step-by-step treatment for curing FOMO in this month’s GQ. Spoiler Alert: there’s no cure, but there are coping mechanisms.

Shack Attack: you peeps in ATL are really lucky – Shake Shack is headed to Buckhead in mid-2014. It is hard for me to talk about Shake Shack without going overboard, but it’s…it’s amazing. Yeah, Bocado and HF are great, but Shake Shack is different. And it’s cheap and easy and it’s like heaven in your mouth. So…y’all have got that going for you, which is nice.

Is Tuesday the new Thursday on BBT?? I hope not, I hate Tuesdays.

*re today’s title – I couldn’t come up with anything on my own and Anchorman happened to be on this weekend…really looking forward to #2. Plus, the arsonist really does have oddly shaped feet.

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30 for 30

Posted by AllieB on June 20, 2013

Today was one of those days where I woke up before my alarm went off, hummed as I put on make-up, and sorta skipped to the subway – it’s perfect weather (you know how deeply affected I am by climate), it’s THURSDAY, and so many visitors are coming up this weekend!! I think that even if a homeless person spit on me I would say, “awesome!” and just keep skipping.

My birthday happened, and it was great. I’ll quit talking about it because that’s all I’ve been talking about, and I think we’re all ready for me to get back to Kate Middleton and Jessica Simpson (HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE IN THERE?!) and pretty much anything else at all, so long as it’s not my birthday. I did have an awesome day and felt very special, what with the Facebook and Instagram activity posted on my behalf, plus the Haagen Das ice cream cake I had at work , and the beautimous flowers waiting for me when I got home (see bottom of post). To top it off, some of my most very favorite people are en route to NYC for the weekend…! cc: Buff, JohnnyT, Gulia, ESchenk, Undercover Turkey Lover, the entire Baxter Fam…

whelmed

Sister loves me all of the time

As you know, the rooftop idea wasn’t panning out so well, so I’m having the Most Anticipated Event of the Year my bday fiesta at B Bar. I like B Bar. And tonight Laureo, Sissy, and I are dining at Tartine. Tomorrow I’m going to have my parents over for happy hour and will serve charcuterie and the bottle of 2002 Dom Perignon that my co-worker gave me, and then a group is dining at The Dutch. I’m trying to make things easier for creepy internet stalkers.

In addition to moi, here is a list of things that turn 30 this year. I, for some reason, am not on the list, but there are some other noteworthy things with which we’re all familiar/fond of.  (credit:  Sista Lynn)

1. The Minivan. Well isn’t that just perfect.

Allie_Minivan

2. J. Crew. 30 years of classic preppiness – J.Crew and I are both known for being classically preppy.

3. Sweet Valley High. Have you read my version of Sweet Valley High?? It’s good. I grew up reading these behind my mother’s back – in hindsight, I get why she didn’t approve…but maybe we should pick our battles #portentofwhatwastocome

4. Hooters. Ha. Hahahaha.

And 26 other things (the internet, AOL, the Moonwalk…), all of which are making me feel like a real spring chicken :|

Despite the all-consuming task of birthday brattiness, I have been able to fit in some traveling. We all went to LA for Char’s graduation from UCLA’s business school, and we had a really good trip! I don’t think I complained about the active activities once – I even did some running on my own time. This is unprecedented vacation behavior on my part, but I think it made the trip much more pleasant for everyone…I’ll try to remember that moving forward. Unlike my other visits to LA, this was the first where it didn’t feel like a different planet – I could even imagine living out there…?

cali

Santa Monica as seen from The Fairmont; hiking in Topanga Canyon; Manhattan Beach #somanyfilters

 And now…..for the news:

I found this article about how to give a toast interesting – would have been nice to have before any number of the epic bombs I’ve delivered in recent years.

I need this travel accessory on the immediate. Not only would it prevent the head-bob, but it would partially shield my face (my eyes, mainly) from view…and it’s much more subtle than a paper bag, which is my other option for sleeping in public.

hoodie neck pillow

-This blog: Sport Balls Replaced with Cats. Yes? No? I am laughing; I hate cats – DUNK IT. I’m excited to watch Game 7 tonight of the NBA Finals. I am confused as to how the winter sport of basketball is still going on, but you’d have to be dead to not be interested in watching this one…I hope it’s not a huge blowout, I hate it when things that are amped up to be awesome let you down…don’t let me down, LeBron. (BBT recommends: one of my favorite columnists projects the champion – it’ll be the Spurs or Heat in seven.)

cat dunk

Regarding future BBT posts…I think I want to try something different, something I wouldn’t normally do, and then write about it. Like The Diary of a Juice Cleanse, or The Day I Walked Around with My Skirt Tucked in my Underwear. Maybe neither of those things, but something of that ilk…I need some direction.

Cher: I have direction…

Josh: Yeah, to the mall!

Enjoy your weekends – I know I will – and, instead of saying no, try saying yes. It’s the SUMMER OF YES!

And a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one my oldest, favoritest friends: K!!!! I hate we’re not celebrating together, but we’ll make up for it soon…x’s and o’s to infinity. I’m going to try and one-up the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I’ve ever received…allow me to reiterate the word “try.”

flowers from K

Thank you, K!!

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