Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘help me help you’

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It’s like a survey, almost, except not

Posted by AllieB on December 13, 2011

Imitation, they say, is the highest form of flattery…so today I bring you a poll pertaining to BBT. I am actually interested to know the answers to the questions, so as to better please my faithful readers, so I’d really appreciate you taking the 3 seconds to answer the Q’s. You don’t even have to leave the page to do it, just click on your answers and voilà! You’re done. (Credit: Blayne @ This Photographer’s Life)

THANK YOU!!! Really, by helping me and you're also helping you - I strive to improve BBT with each and every post; your answers will help me do just that.

And now, for today’s montage: an homage to my besties:

Happy engagement to Kirk & Tina!

Happy Birthday, JTOMM!!! (This pic is from a St. Patty’s Day of yore and has nothing to do with your birthday, but I always just really liked it…)

And here, as promised, is your teacup kitten :) SOCKS WOMAN!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

Hope all is well.

Posted by AllieB on August 22, 2011

Today is not a bad Munday. I bet this is because Kim Kardashian got married on Saturday and I am just beside myself waiting for the exclusive photogs she sold to People for $2.5 million. That, or the two-part E! special for which she raked in $15 million. Kim Kardashian is a jerk, for the record – her engagement ring is 21 carats; she REGISTERED for gifts (oh really, Kim? Which place setting do you need? How about some monogrammed dish towels?); and all three of her Vera Wang dresses were a “gift.” Like I said – she’s  a jerk…a lucrative businesswoman, but a jerk nevertheless.

Lindsay Lohan, a guest to the nuptials, made the egregious error of copying Pippa Middleton’s green dress she wore to the Royal Wedding in April. FAIL. Lindsay Lohan isn’t looking doing so hot these days…I’m still convinced that a turn on Dancing with the Stars could revive her fledgling (and that’s being generous) career, but she seems oblivious to my repeated suggestions, so I’m throwing in the towel. I can only do so much.

If someone wore that white dress to my wedding, I’d pour a glass of red wine down the front without a moment’s hesitation. SO inappropriate.

Technological humor!!! BBM betwixt Boof and BBT referencing my profile photo:

Boof: Want to come to Bocado?

BBT: I do love that place. What time?

Boof: Just let me know camel?

BBT: Did you mean to say ‘camel?’

Boof: 8:30. WTF is your pic?

BBT: It’s a hippo?

Boof: No. It’s a camel.

BBT: Hippo.

Obviously a hippo. Ok, that video is actually really cute…

This week, BOLO for: a rundown of fall TV, and I have no idea what else. BOLO for awesomeness – we’ll just leave it at that. Four days til Friday!!

Dear Leila,

Hope all is well.

-BBT

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Dear Diary

Posted by AllieB on August 10, 2011

Dear Diary,

Today has been the best day, and it’s not even lunch time yet! First, I woke up at 5 AM feeling super fresh – everyone should go to bed at 8 PM like I do; I LOVE being a morning person!!! Anyway, then I fed the fish in my koi pond that I have in the middle of my penthouse apartment in Nashville. Why do I have a koi pond? I don’t know. But there are fish in it, so I feed them. Then I went on a long walk – I have such awkwardly long limbs that I can cover five miles in about five minutes. In fact, I kind of remind myself of the BFG – remember Roald Dahl’s classic? I never read it because I’m much too vapid to enjoy such a wonderful, imaginative novel, but there was a really cool girl in my third grade class – her name was…I don’t know, it rhymed with Ballie Axter- and she loved it.

I digress. My great day has continued with my usual 3 hours of baking. I love to bake! I’m one of those miserably lame people who constantly distribute baked goods so as to endear myself to others. Every time I manage to get people to come over, I have a huge spread of baked goods and hope that they will come back maybe for a second visit when they remember how much food I had for them. Today I whipped up some pumpkin pancakes in case anyone came over – they didn’t, but I felt good knowing that I was prepared. I wonder if maybe I should start serving alcohol? I didn’t have any at my 21st birthday party, and I’m wondering – looking back – if that was a mistake?? Surely not.

Oh! There’s my timer. I just made some souffles. I really hope I can find someone to enjoy them with instead of giving them to Jerry again – Jerry’s the homeless guy who lives on my block. He said the last ones gave him indigestion?? There must be something wrong with his digestive track, not my souffle – I followed the recipe exactly. I always follow the recipe exactly. And I am definitely the only person I know who would ever say “digestive track.”

Anyway, Diary, I just know today is going to be great. It will probably be exactly like every day I have because I am that redundantly redundant. I am even redundant when I am saying word redundant, which is something of a feat.

XOXO,

TSwizzle

*I know, right?? How surprisingly hip is my moniker?? It hasn’t caught on yet because I’m about an iota as cool as the name suggests, but maybe one day….

By “friends” I mean people who accidentally went to the wrong condo. (Glamour – November 2010)

Title credit: La Boof

Posted in Celebs | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

What’s new, pussycat?

Posted by AllieB on April 28, 2011

As the heavens prepared to open above Metro Atlanta last night, having wreaked real, tragic havoc over Mississippi and Alabama, people around town made appropriate preparations: got the animals inside, made sure they had candles/flashlights, some of us ensured we had plenty of wine and library books…you get the picture: time to hunker down. Refer to the following BBM convo:

Me: Mom, are you going to Body Pump today?

Mom: No, I’m going to a concert at Cobb Energy Center

Me: A concert?! Mom, the weather is supposed to get really bad later!

Mom: Sorry to miss BP!

I thought this turn of events was a bit curious – although my mom does love concerts (Hippie Fest ’07, Rod Stewart & Stevie Nicks), but then forgot about it and carried on with my evening. It wasn’t until hours later when I was chatting with my older sister, CKB, that I learned what was going on. My mother was at the TOM JONES concert. TOM JONES. Tom “Sexbomb” Jones. What? I don’t even know.

Soundbite! J Simps on her “workout regimen” for her upcoming nuptials (PopEater, credit: Julia)

“I just have to work out on my own. There is no regimen I need to follow. There’s no diet I need to follow…No exercise is fun! I am going to dance around my bedroom and hopefully lose some weight — and lift some weights and do what I can!”

Every time Jessica gets the urge to speak, she should resist that urge and not speak. She’s the only person to whom I’d say this, but: try NOT using your words. I goog’ed “Jessica Simpson dancing.” Have I gone too far? This isn’t very nice.

from allwomenstalk.com

Maybe think about tossing in some pilates along with your boudoir frolics, or going on the occasional yog…just in case.

It’s almost here….my favorite thing: THE ROYAL WEDDING!!!! Kate’s getting hitched! I set my alarm for 4:01. If I can’t stay awake for it, at least I will be absorbing the coverage as I sleep…omg I seriously can’t wait. I’m afraid I’m not going to be doing any live-blogging, 1. because the chances of me staying awake are very slim, and 2. I don’t know how to live blog. Rest assured, I’ll have plenty to say after the fact tomorrow afternoon, so….BOLO.

 

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Friend or Foe?

Posted by AllieB on March 23, 2011

Emoticons: Friend or Foe?

BBT says…FRIEND! I’m a convert. Well, within reason. For instance, used sparingly in emails amongst friends, emoticons can be the perfect touch of irony or sincere emotion. I will say, I think it’s best not to cross the gender barrier with smiley faces, at least not until you’ve established specific boundaries pertaining to their use. Personally, I like the occasional :) or :( but, and I think this goes without saying, my most favorite and oft used is The Flat Face :| There are few such evocative combinations of punctuation marks.

Chris Brown: Friend or Foe?

FOE! He was very scary on Good Morning America yesterday (which I did not see until this AM when the Today show aired the clip – Betsy, Pal, and anyone else who watches GMA: you are dumb.). Get it together dude, people were just starting to forget what you did to Rihanna’s face. I definitely like Yeah 3X, but this Dennis Rodman alter-ego has gosta go.

William & Kate Lifetime Movie: Friend or Foe?

Duh. [countdown date=2011/4/18-21:00:00] [timer] until the Premiere!!! [/countdown]

So, I still want to do another survey, but I need your help. I’m even sharing a real email address (alliebaxter@gmail.com) to which you can send your thoughts. I’m dead serious: help a lady out.

In the meantime, I will be working on my own, much more interesting version of March Madness (credit: Kacy Lerkhof). I am much better equipped to predict the outcome of Pimento Cheese v Country Ham Biscuit (obviously the former – by an embarrassing margin) than that of two, in my mind, random basketball teams.

From: Garden&Gun; click here for your own bracket. BOLO for the Ultimate Southern Food Champion…

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

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