Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘Friday’

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O is for OH WOW

Posted by AllieB on October 1, 2010

It’s been a busy week, and I haven’t brought much to the table in terms of internet interaction. I miss emailing and Facebook. Surprisingly, I did not miss gchat. Maybe I’m over gchat? Probably not. Anyway – I haven’t really been following the news, and the stories I have caught wind of I feel are already exhausted in terms of discussion, etc.

However, this Duke “sex thesis” warrants mention. I find it ridiculous (a PowerPoint??) as well as deplorable. Per the Jezebel article (which I will not link to directly because the title is extremely inappropriate):

Upon graduating, the author decided to pass on the wisdom she had learned, in thesis format. The subject: “An education beyond the classroom: excelling in the realm of horizontal academics.”

Her poor parents. They were probably so proud that their daughter got into Duke (Puke), and then she goes and does this. What a treat! Imagine their Christmas card letter: “…and our slore of a daughter made a PowerPoint about her sex life that the entire world has been able to read. We feel really good about the $180,000 we spent on her tuition.”

I do think this regrettable situation can teach us all a lesson or two: 1. try to refrain from making detailed PowerPoints about your sexual relations, and 2. anything you write and then share via the web is free game – even if it’s just an email to three friends. FYI. Note to self. Words of wisdom.

**UPDATE: if you’re so inclined, this is a link to the clear non-blurry version – names, faces, etc…..wowza. Barstool Sports

Moving along – it is Friday, hoorah, and Friday is a great day for video montages. This is incredible. Even if you haven’t seen every single episode of Friends five or more times like, say, me or Sister or Hilary or Pal or Kara or Leila, you can’t not enjoy Ross.

Ross: Oh, major shampoo explosion!

Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn’t easy.

Ross: Oh, it’s all over everything. Why? Why me?

Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?

Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G… And this is moisturizer. It’s even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

animals dressed as humans

Posted by AllieB on September 17, 2010

Panda is ready for the weekend. Are you?

Sis & Kayruh – too bad you didn’t see this before last night…you could’ve stolen his moves instead of mine. FILCHERS.

Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?

Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!

Ross: That is correct.

Joey: The Irish gig guy?!

Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!

–The One With The Embryos

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Fridizzle

Posted by AllieB on September 3, 2010

Tabitha: You know I do offer group therapy.
Charlie: Yeah, okay.
Dee: What is this? What are you doing?
Dennis: What? What is that?
Tabitha: With all due respect, you’re talking about bringing guns to an intervention and you’re drinking wine out of a soda can.
Dee: Yeah.
Dennis: Oh. you put wine in the soda can?
Dee: You didn’t know did you?
Dennis: That is good.
Charlie: Ahh, you stole Frank’s idea.
Dee: Yeah yeah yeah. Its actually is a pretty good idea.
Charlie: Well its a good idea. I mean the guy has great ideas.
Dee: He is a smart man, that is not what we’re here about.

Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of my favorite television programs not only because it’s completely off-the-wall-hilarious, but because they have some great ideas that translate well into everyday life – i.e., wine in a can. My favorite episode is when The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention; excerpts shown above.

A three-day weekend?? College football??? Temps in the mid-80’s with only moderate humidity???? Doesn’t get better than that, sahn.

If you need me, I’ll be at Scandals.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Just sayin’

Posted by AllieB on August 27, 2010

Here’s some good Friday reading material: Hungover Owls – because they definitely feel worse than you do.

“You uh…you need me to move my car?”

“You uh…you need me to move my car?”

The captions are a tad aggressive – even I, condoner of the occasional apropos curse word, feel it’s a bit too mas – but it’s also pretty hilarious and not necessarily inaccurate. Owls: wise and funny. Who knew?

Sidebar: I wonder when restaurants will realize that a sandwich called “The BLAT” is a sandwich no one wants to order. It’s very delicious – bacon, lettuce, avocado, and tomato – but that “A” takes a tasty BLT and makes it sound like a bodily function, or something else equally unappetizing.

“And I will have The BLAT, please.”

“Ohhhh, a BLAT sounds super delish!”

“Wanna split a BLAT?”

Thanks, but no thanks. Although I might get one from Souper Jenny for lunch – when it’s my turn I’ll just point to it instead of saying “I’d like a BLAT.”  I’m very good at gesticulating, and I really do love bacon.

Bacon slip-ons by Keds. I wonder if they come in a 10?

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

It’s Friday at 2 p.m…

Posted by AllieB on August 6, 2010

…which means the only program open on my work computer is Google Chrome.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy are amazing in their obscurity. They’re especially amazing on Friday afternoons at 2 p.m.

“Probably to a shark about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE’S GOING?”

“I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.”

“People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.”

Read more…

They kill me! Every time – every single time!

Dedicated to Sister Pantalones: because you love Deep Thoughts.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

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