Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘food’

2013 -> No Más

Posted by AllieB on December 19, 2013

2013 was the year of – what: it was the year of twerking, Snapchat, Kanye, Netflix, and my 30th birthday. It was a lousy year for the cruise industry (CARNIVAL), but SNL has been pretty funny. As I do every year, I marvel at how quickly it’s gone by…luckily, the month of January feels like it’s 3 full years, all on its own, so I figure that’ll help balance things out. Here now, a woefully incomplete list of random things in 2013, superlative-ized.

– Most likely to boggle ze mind: Wall Street Journal does 2013 in photos. These are incredible – you gotta take a look.

super moon NYC

The super moon on June 23, 2013 as seen in Manhattan #badass

- Most universally annoying thing that I secretly do not find annoying: selfies.

– Best example of why it’s great to be a Georgia Bulldog and not a SC Gamecock: Someone Caught Steve Spurrier Humping a Yoga Ball

– BBT’s most read post: ALRIGHT. So when I get mad, BBT gets good? (JSimps, the Post Office, the hot girl at Equinox…no one’s safe)

– BBT’s most gratuitous use of p0rn (spoiler: it’s food p0rn): Hide Your Crazy and Start Acting Like A Lady – I also like the post in general: personal truths, my new ‘hood, some tunes, and, of course, lobsta rolls…(I had to use a 0 instead of an o, my internet filter does not like that word.)

– Best place in the entire world to be around Christmas: NYC

grand central

– Most likely to wear short skirts and move to Boston and become a lawyer: my senior superlative in high school. The newspaper staff made them up, and I was on the newspaper staff so I got off easy – come to think of it, I might have even made it up myself… Nerd.

– Most likely to make you shake your first and ask, WHY GOD WHY: you can’t pick your family, and you can’t pick where you’re from: Grantland’s Rembert Brown does poetic justice to the injustice that was afflicted upon Atlanta sports fans this fall.

– Best dog of the year/century/millennium: Missy Baxter. We miss you, Missy :(

she got the paper every morning for most of her life, starting when she was a teeny tiny puppy and the paper was bigger than she was

she got the paper every morning for most of her life, starting when she was a teeny tiny puppy and the paper was bigger than she was

– …but this dog is a close second. This story made my entire year.

– Hardest restaurant to get a reservation: it’s not even in NYC – Canoe in ATL wins this. I called like 7 weeks ago and they were already booked up for Christmas Eve. WTF Canoe? Whatevs, ever since they started curtailing their bread basket by having waiters distribute SINGULAR pieces, as opposed to the legit carb orgy they used to do, I’m kind of over it anyway. UPDATE: Canoe literally just called – there was a cancellation, and we’re in. I take back what I said about the bread and being over it – y’all knew that was a bunch of BS. I guess Canoe is no longer worthy of this superlative, I’ll go with Charlie Bird (Mary, what’s your secret!?) or ABC Kitchen.

– Sneakiest giraffe/most typical tourists:

stupid tourists! serves them right.

As taken by me, with my iPhone, in Pilanesberg, ZA

– Most likely to suffer from injuries due to an omnipresent Melvin: Miley Cyrus.

– Most legitimately useful information that I will likely never use: these 99 life hacks. The mind REELS.

– Most inopportune moment to drop a curtsy: at my work  Christmas party, I walked out of the restroom at the same time as the President of our company did (he out of the men’s room, me out of women’s – duh), which is an inherently awkward meet and greet all on its own. Never one to miss out on a potentially humiliating encounter, I CURTSIED before him – just as one might the Queen – and raised my glass of champagne as I bade him a pleasant evening. Why would you do that, Allie? I don’t know.

– Most exclusive, seen-and-be-seen event of the year:

Doc4

– Least tan person in the world, on average, over the last 12 months: Me. Or maybe Fleming.

– Most likely to touch a frozen pole with her tongue and get stuck: Miley Cyrus.

– Best gift for the person who has everything – guarantee you they don’t have this: The Kanye West Pug Calendar: 2014% Awesome

kanye february

It’s been a good year! I blogged almost weekly (almost), I got my hair balayage-ed/ombré-ed (I think I like it?), and I rode the Staten Island Ferry.  I also knocked out my sixth continent and got Amazon Prime – 2013 was wild! Who knows what 2014 will bring for BBT…perhaps there will be some external ventures…maybe in the form of a novel? I KNOW, I’ll stop talking and start doing. HAPPIEST of Holidays to you and yours!!

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Anything you can do, I can do almost or equally as well

Posted by AllieB on October 3, 2013

I’ve mastered the subways; I emerge from underground and know instinctively which way is N/S/E/W; you should see me weave thru the herds of cattle throngs of people on the sidewalk; I stuck out my tongue at a cab driver last week when he violated my right of way – let’s face it, y’all, I’m a New Yawker.

alexandra

a saavy city girl from the very beginning. that’s right – GIRL

While I think we can all agree these are noteworthy accomplishments, I’ve still yet to conquer my Everest: mastering the art/science/I think it might be magic of making dinner reservations. I spent a good chunk of time this week trying to find two restaurants that will impress my high-brow foodie friends, A and K, when they come to visit, and I’m getting the proverbial talk-to-the-hand at every place I’ve tried. I mean, this is like a month in advance! Evidently no one A) knows who I am or B) is aware that I manage a very dated and irrelevant restaurant guide to Atlanta. K&A, how do you feel about dining at 5:30? Actually, wait: who needs restaurants – we’re all talented chefs, why don’t we just cook our own meals!?! And let’s be sure not to have any wine at all.

what would happen if we did either of those things

what would happen if we did either of those things

Obviously, none of us would ever find ourselves in this sort of situation, and I want to be very clear that I am NOT condoning such behavior, but when I saw this I thought I’d better share: The Rules for Calling in Sick When You’re Actually Hungover. Upon completion I found myself wanting to seek out Captain Obvious so I could thank him for sharing such brand new information, but who am I to judge – let’s see what I’ve got:

1. Mind over matter. I am a strong believer in this: stop wallowing and get over it. I am lucky not to get the voms when I am overserved, so I’m sure this is easier said than done…but most of the time I feel like people are just being big babies.

2. Water: it’s not a myth. Water before, during, and after your ill-advised outing will help tremendously. And cold Vitamin Water Zero in the morning is like nectar of the gods.

3. A lot of people say exercise. Me, not so much

4. Oh. I was supposed write a list about how to call in sick when you’re hungover. I don’t really have any tips on that for I hath ne’er done such a thing.

5. Cpt Obvs: 1, BBT: 0

But seriously: drink water.

Ok, this is weird, right? Mediocre-hurdler-turned-bobsledding-hopeful, Lolo Jones, is trying to gain 60 lbs to make “bobsled weight.” Her daily diet includes two 1,365 protein shakes and FOUR double bacon cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. This approach seems flawed. She is literally going to turn into a double bacon cheeseburger…literally. Ehhh, Lolo makes me uncomf – she seems like she’s kind of nuts, if not a little bit delusional:

“My abs are still there,” she said. “I’m still cut, just super solid.”

Yeah, a super solid double bacon cheeseburger…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, G FORCE!!!!! Remember that time we went to Pakistan? Such adventures we’ve had…I love you!!

incognito in Lahore

incognito in Lahore. also, barefoot. ew

TGIT! Feels good to be back on sched…truthfully, I’ve had a whole week of Thursdays, but I’m glad everyone else is now on my same page.

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Thoughts: Shallow & Deep

Posted by AllieB on September 12, 2013

I had an idea once that I might go to all of the classes Equinox offers then write about them, and, while that is a really good idea, it also requires me to go to all of the classes Equinox offers…so, sadly, this brainchild was over before it began. However, I do make it to the occasional group fitness gathering – last night was Asset Management. Not a seminar on finance, mind you, but an hour long workout focusing on your…assets. It was a good class, the teacher is Australian and Australians are funny, and there weren’t any ridiculous props like that VIPR class, (remember the giant tube I had to sling around?!? I wish I could forget) but there was a girl – a really not cute one – who had zero concept of personal space. This class was packed to the gills, and here’s Susie McLargeAndInCharge, barging into my very small area during each segment.

please stop

if this were my gym class, I’d be the woman wondering how/why/HOW I am in contact with the frontal protrusion of the man sitting in the row behind me  (how not shocking these are Tennessee fans)

I just get really mad when people don’t pay attention to their surroundings. It’s less the personal space invasion – I always invade Sister’s personal space every time I see her – and more the complete disregard for others. Susie Sausage was not picking up on my pointed looks and noises of frustration, so I finally stopped and stood still during a side-to-side exercise, and, whaddya know, she ran smack into me (it was all I could do to stay on my feet). She stopped short and looked at me first in surprise, then in anger, and I served it back tenfold; I glowered at her. Then and only then did she look around and realize just how out of bounds she was – I’m pretending like I heard her mutter “sorry” and not that word that rhymes with witch as she retreated to her area. You better believe she kept her distance for the duration of class. Once again, David hath defeated Goliath.

It’s a good thing I can switch up which location I go to, probably need to steer clear of that one for awhile…

And now for the news:

-FIRST and most importantly: 38 Essential Pizzas Across the United States. Readers from my most densely populated areas are decently covered, but it gets a little spotty around Missouri. Sucks for you, Mizzou.

-Fashion Week is still going on up here…me – I’m done. I’ve  had to totally re-tool my Instagram account, I’ve really had enough. I did see one disconcerting article that mentioned how Birkenstocks are back?! Unfortunately, BBT has close contact with a bona fide Birkenstock Expert, so let’s check in with her – Hilary, thoughts?

A related-yet-not-a-sequel-or-prequel to Harry Potter is in the works! And it’s legit – JK Rowling’s involved and everything. I love Harry Potter, and I – we – could all use more Hogwarts in our lives.

-watch the roasting of James Franco (it’s on YouTube, find it yourself). And if you can’t watch it all, at least watch Bill Hader – Bill Hader is #1

-I got 100+ likes on my last Instagram post (see below). I’m not gloating; it was a very special picture…which brings me to today’s Special Segment. I’m all for light ‘n breezy, but sometimes I like to get a little real.

light tribute and tower

For various reasons, the anniversary of 9/11 was more significant for me this year than any year previous. Obviously I feel an ever-increasing level of solidarity with the city, but I think a lot of it is just plain geography: living down in TriBeCa, where the new One World Trade Center tower is such a pervasively physical presence, I can easily visualize what used to be there even though I never really knew the view myself. I can imagine how the planes came in, and I know now where people sprinted up the street – my street, where I live – away from the buildings in sheer terror, knowing that something was terribly, irreversibly wrong but without any clue as to what had actually happened. Then I can hear the deafening silence as the dust settled and revealed the gaping hole where the towers once stood….although it’s still completely unfathomable, I guess I just have a better sense of it all, and I’m really grateful for that. I read upwards of 100 articles yesterday and watched countless videos, and, while devastating, the overriding sense of hope – even mere days after the attack – is just…it’s inspiring all over again. Jon Stewart, on his show’s first airing post-attack on 9/20/01, gave a very touching, candid monologue. See below (video/transcript):

I just wanted to tell you why I grieve–but why I don’t despair.

Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding. . .that’s extraordinary. And that’s why we have already won. It’s democracy. They can’t shut that down. They live in chaos. And chaos, it can’t sustain itself–it never could. It’s too easy and it’s too unsatisfying.

The view from my apartment was the World Trade Center. . .now it’s gone. They attacked it. This symbol of American ingenuity and strength and labor and imagination and commerce and it’s gone. But you know what the view is now? The Statue of Liberty. . . the view from the south of Manhattan is the Statue of Liberty.

You can’t beat that.

Thank you for letting me share.

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Hide your crazy and start acting like a lady

Posted by AllieB on August 22, 2013

Oh hello.

Recently, thanks to the wisdom and maturity that comes with turning 30, I have been able to face some harsh realities about my person:

1. I can be lazy

2. I have a penchant for over-indulging

3. Time to put my money where my mouth is and start writing that damn book

4. I overthink everything – I am my own worst enemy

5. I need to give myself more credit

None of this is brand new information, obviously, and self-awareness is an important trait, but it’s pretty worthless unless I start modifying my behavior. So…that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to be a go-getting, self-disciplined, published author who doesn’t dwell on the mundane and gives herself a pat on the back every day.

Too deep? I feel uncomf. Let’s head back to the shallow end and talk lobster rolls.

It’s not a total non sequitur: lobster rolls are something in which I  might very easily over-indulge if I didn’t enforce some self-discipline (see #2). I would eat one, like, every day if they weren’t $28/ea and didn’t have 8,000 calories. For this reason, and I have a similar rule for fettucini alfredo, I only get to have it once/year and it has to be worth it. IE, from the best restaurant and I don’t mess around with portions. This way I’m neither deprived, nor am I disgusting – you know what I say about moderation and how key it is. I don’t respond well to words like “no” and “don’t” and “can’t” and this system allows for indulgence but in a – what’s that? – yes, moderated way. Playing mind games with myself is exhausting, in case you were wondering. And this brings us to #4, doesn’t it…

lobsta roll

that’s some straight food porn right there

Enough with psycho-babble BS, BBT. Dinner at Pearl Oyster Bar, home to the best lobster roll in NYC, was so fun. Three cool girls, some rose, a heaping serving of lobster and mayo on buttered bread with shoestring fries and some fried oysters on the side… Laureo & EDon, we’ll do it again soon, but we’ll have to go somewhere else because my lobster roll quota for 2013 has now been fulfilled.

I am moving over Labor Day. The moving part blows, obviously, but the end result is very exciting. I’m headed downtown, y’all, and it’s going to be great. I’m on the river, I’ll have a balcony overlooking the river, there is an ice machine and a washer/dryer IN UNIT. Plus my rent is going down by like $300 – I feel as though I’ve struck real estate gold. I was running along the Hudson River Running Path the other evening, and I took this pic at the intersection of my new street + Westside Highway (my building is half a block behind me).

what a serene vista

what up JERSEY!

Speaking of running…I use Songza, an app whose virtues I’ve extolled on many occasions, for tunes. I first choose the day and time: it was Monday evening, then the activity: working out, then I choose the genre: the selection varies – I usually go with Aggressive Rap but I chose Upbeat Country. I forgot how enjoyable country is…anyway, Miranda Lambert’s Mama’s  Broken Heart came on, and one line really stuck with me…reference: today’s title. Ladies, hide your crazy.

BOOM – I never do what I say I’m going to do, and this week I did: dos posts en una semana.

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Bad writing, fine dining, and kids that are rich

Posted by AllieB on August 22, 2012

I posted last week about the UGA student who wrote an allegedly satirical column on how to find that perfect husband in college. A lot of people hadn’t seen it before, and a lot of people had comments – is she serious, is this a joke, please tell me this is not real, etc. Ever the diligent journalist, I delved deeper and tried to ascertain just what exactly the author was trying to achieve. Turns out she wrote a follow-up article entitled, “Writer of ‘How to find perfect husband in college’ reveals true nature of column”, and now I really can’t stand her. She opens with:

To all who do not understand satire…

I quit reading after that, so I guess I’ll never know what she was trying to accomplish, and, frankly, I’m unsure I have the capacity to care less. The last thing a contested writer needs to do is condescend those who deigned to read her material. I’m not a moron, and I, for the most part, tend to catch on pretty quick, and it was in no way clear to me that she was being funny – and that’s me playing real fast and loose with the word “funny.”

Puppy break!

In light of my imminent departure, I’ve made a concerted effort to make the most of Atlanta and all of its delights. Read: I’ve been going out to eat a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed about that “bucket list” I posted several weeks back re: things I wanted to do before I left. Surely I know better than to announce plans of intention on BBT – they so rarely pan out, and then I look like I don’t follow through on stuff. Which, whether or not that’s true, would be a moot issue if I didn’t open my big mouth in the first place. I don’t prefer announcing plans to people – some might argue this would hold you to keeping them, others (moi) might say mind your own beeswax. So, about dining out:

Bistro Niko: Just a really excellent meal of food. I got the steak frites with both the bernaise and the maitre d’hotel butter (obviously) and it was nothing short of decadent. It’s a happening place, Bistro Niko is. Also, when I was younger my barometer of gauging a restaurant’s “cool factor” was the bathroom: the bathrooms at BN are pretty tight. BBT says: I liked it before, but – if I were sticking around – I could see it becoming a real go-to.

The Optimist: I’m sick of talking about The Optimist. It’s great, and if you haven’t been you should go, but can we please stop talking about it.

Big Ketch: I could likely survive a good long while off their hush puppies. I still haven’t had anything else on the menu. Do, however, beware of patrons taking a mid-meal snooze on the patio…this really happened, I snapped the pic myself. Man down; lock it up; where are her friends she’s passed out in her chair.

Grindhouse Killer Burgers: Hell yes. This place rocks – it is currently my favorite of the burger places. I got an Apache Turkey burger (pepper jack cheese, grilled onions, and green chiles), and it was awesome. I might go back again before I go.

Flip Burger: Meh. I’m kind of over Mr. Blais.

All of these places, of course, are listed on the spreadsheet with pertinent info.

Blog of the Week: Rich Kids of Instagram (credit: Lia)

Actual photo caption: Matching… #Ferrari #inmylivingroom #oneofushas2change #hamptons #NBD

 To give you just a little bit of perspective, this is my last Instagram:

 Actual photo caption: My two loves: 32 oz of beverage and a royal compact. Best gift ever @carriewyatt!

Suddenly my two loves seem…inadequate. At least I’m not a total d-nozzle; I, for one, am able to dress myself with the utmost confidence that I will in no way resemble my Ferrari. This guy’s totally bush league.

Hope you’re doing something happy on this happiest of hump days – I intend to.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »