Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Naughty or Nice?

Posted by AllieB on December 11, 2014

Santa’s super busy around Christmas, so I decided to lend a hand and help him out with those pesky Naughty or Nice lists. Santa, you are so welcome. ‘Tis the season for generosity and selfless good deeds! Also, no need to get a second opinion – pretty sure I nailed it.

Naughty:

~ the news of late…makes you wish for simpler times, like when we all thought we were getting Ebola

Nice!

~ the doorman in my building, Eustace, who knows the name of every single resident (he calls me Ali Baba which still counts and you can all call me that if you want because WWED?) and sells Girl Scout cookies for his granddaughter every spring. Put me down for all the boxes, Eustace – every single one.

~ Sephora. Sephora is on every block in New York, which means I am never too far from dry shampoo and bronzer. Dry shampoo is to me what cake is to those fat kids: you don’t want to be around us if we haven’t had our fix.

But, also a little Naughty:

~ Sephora. The small yet adorably packaged and, duh, therefore expensive items stocked in the checkout line at Sephora are to me what cake is to those fat kids: when it comes to temptation, we have the backbone of a wet noodle.

Back to Nice:

~ Domesticate-Me. Thanks to Serena and her sharp writing and rather challenging recipes, I have recently achieved Goddess of Kitchen status. I must also give a shout out to my poor budgeting skills, for without my inability to properly manage money, I would absolutely still order Seamless every night.

butternut squash soup

This is the Butternut Squash Soup with Roasted Garlic, Goat Cheese, and Pepitas. It took me like 2.5 hours but it was worth it – that stuff is dank city.

~ Grapefruit season! I love grapefruit. You can all come over for Grapefruit-Rosemary Mules! (I swear I wrote about grapefruit before I saw this recipe – I’m even eating one right now at my desk, we just happen to be on the same page. Is this getting weird? We have friends in common….time to pop that chill pill.)

Possibly the worst ever:

~ (Subterranean transportation x the holiday season) + New York City = HOMICIDAL RAGE. Just last night I was meeting ERock and Flem for dinner at Marta (BBT says: 3.5 stars), and I was literally forced onto the wrong train because of the crowd surge. Stuck in this cattle car against my will, I had to ride the express all the way to 14th then double-back up to 28th. I realized, after the fact, that I really should have just walked the 13 blocks from my office….but it was snowing. So, yeah - toss lousy weather into that equation, and get the hell out of my way.

Go ahead and give in to the goodness:

~ Serial. Yeah, it’s a podcast, and yeah, IT IS AWESOME. I haven’t downloaded this week’s epi yet, and it wraps up next week…I have so many feelings I don’t even know where to start. Stop resisting and start listening – especially if you drive a car or go for long runs, this podcast platform is made for you.

It’s a toss-up:

~ The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. While it is hardly a morale booster, the #VSFashionShow does provide endless fodder when it comes to documenting the appallingly awkward moves, behavior, and facial expressions of Taylor Swift…your call, Santa.

Adrianna and Alessandra each have two kids. And I bet Ed Sheehan posted this on his high school reunion page w caption: "YOU CAN KEEP MY LUNCH MONEY SUCKAS"

Adrianna and Alessandra each have two kids. And I bet Ed Sheeran posted this on his high school reunion page w caption: “YOU CAN KEEP ALL THAT LUNCH MONEY SUCKAS”

Ending on a high note:

~ Christmas in New York. I will never tire of Christmas in NYC.

grand central

So now I ask all of you: are you naughty like Ebola or nice like a grapefruit?

It’s possible Santa might need a back-up list….

I honestly, in my heart of hearts, woke up today and thought it was Friday. The only silver lining is that I had time to throw together this haphazard, weak-sauce BBT…which I think we can all agree places me firmly and immovably on the Nice list.

TGIhowisitstillT!

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Interview of the Week: Me

Posted by AllieB on November 6, 2014

This is the one where I couldn’t think of my own material so I copied something I’ve seen on another site…

Today’s post is borrowed from The New Potato and follows the list of questions they give to the actors/designers/foodies featured on their blog. Have they featured me? They have not. But now I will be prepared if/WHEN such an event occurs. I didn’t like some of their questions, so I made up a few of my own. I call this “Interview of the Week” – my first ever! – and my first guest is me because who else.

From start to finish, what would be your ideal food day?

Breaky: 2 cups of earl grey tea and a cranberry scone from the bakery dude who comes to the Tribeca Farmer’s Market every Saturday…I’d probably also toss in pancakes from Bubby’s and brown sugar-glazed bacon.

For lunch: Shake Shack – Shack Burger & cheese fries.

Dinner: pizza, pasta, steak…pizza from Keste* or Spunto; pasta from Bianca or Max; steak by moi – a ribeye or similar coated in salt n pepper cooked in my cast iron skillet with sauteed spinach and the pepper jack mac n cheese from Whole Foods on the side.

Snacks: cheese dip from Jalisco, burrata from John Dory Oyster Bar, choc chip cookie from Levain; veggie slice from Fellini’s with Italian dressing for dipping…

I’m hungry.

*ATLiens: Don Antonio by Sarita is a Neopolitan pizza place on W Paces Ferry in Buckhead where STG Trattoria used to be – it is operated by the same owners who run Don Antonio in New York, who also own Keste. In other words: GO TO HERE. Go now and get the Burrata Roberto pizza.

How do you always start your day on a good note?

I’ve started making smoothies every morning and they are GOOD, like, get-me-out-of-bed-on-cold-and-rainy-mornings good. Also, sometimes I wake up and lie in my bed for a little while, looking at the river and just contemplating life/my outfit for the day, and I’ll see a big cruise ship go by – I have two thoughts: 1. How cool that I can see this from my bed and 2. SUCKAS

What’s your drink?

Actually, I was at The Standard East Village a couple weekends ago and my eye automatically went to the spicy marg – I saw ‘tequila’ and ‘jalapeno’ and ordered it w/o further thought, then K pointed out it was also “topped with red wine.” What. These are not two drinks I would normally think to have together – in succession, sure, but not simultaneously – and turns out it is delicious.

Hey AllieIt’s now called “The Allie” they just have to reprint the  menus

What are your vices?

I eat too much kale.

What’s always in your bag?

Vaseline and Rohto drops.

Words to act by…

I’ll defer to Pinterest on this one

Three words to describe social media…

I love/hate/love social media.

Do you Tweet?

Yes, I am on Twitter, but I only use it to share a new link to BBT (as many as one person has clicked thru – I have a massive and devoted following), and to retweet stuff I like. I have not had an original tweet since October 9, 2012, and I think we can all agree I really went out with a bang:

twitter

wow is right.

If you’re a Twitter-er you should follow Samir from Buzzfeed – he will make you laugh.

Million Dollar Idea? 

So, we all use Snapchat, right? I want Snapchat to have a function where it links to your Spotify and shows the name of whatever song you’re listening to onto the snap. I need it to access what’s going on INSIDE my phone instead of only picking up ambient noise. Por ejemplo:

wiz khalifaSee? Not just a selfie in the elevator bank (embarrassing), it’s like, “hey guys I’m here and I’m listening to Wiz Khalifa what are y’all listening to?” For the record, this went to only like 5 ppl in my Snap contacts…well, and now the millions of BBT readers. Either way, I am not trying to steal Snapchat or copy it, I just want to build on top of its gazillion dollar platform, is all. Everybody wins!

Mr. Snap: have your people call my people.

Favorite kind of workout?

The kind of workout I hate least is Flywheel. I did a new class on Tuesday: SLT (Strengthen-Lengthen-Tone). I’ve never been so sore: I’m walking like Frankenstein and every time I stand or sit or cough I cry a little. It’s like Pilates Reformer, I think – I’ve never done Pilates – but there’s a cardio aspect, as well. I don’t know, if you’re really interested read about it here. Bottom line: it was HARD.

SLT Soho“50 shades of fitness” LOL but 4 real those contraptions look like gurneys. Each class costs a month’s rent so not sure how often I’ll go, but it’s nice to pretend.

How have you contributed to the Greater Good this week? (BBT is not a place for political discussion, so voting does not count.)

I just made a donation to Atlanta Lab Rescue. And, unless you’re Mother Teresa, I’m guessing your karmic balance could use some padding, so please go to the Atlanta Lab Rescue site and donate $5 – literally, $5. You can all afford $5. It links right up with your Paypal so you don’t even have to register, and you can help save this dog’s life. (I can’t read the story again or I’ll lose it, but he needs your help!)

ALR is a 501c3 nonprofit and 100% of all donations are used for the rescue and care of these dogs. 

*PS none of you are Mother Teresa so let’s get going on the link clicking.

—

Ok. The End. Happy Thursday and hellooooooo to the Weekend. Goodbye, however, to Fall. It was nice while it lasted :(

foliage_best library in the worldFall foliage at my favorite library in the best city

Oh yeah – TGIT!

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Great for Halloween or Just Fashion

Posted by AllieB on October 29, 2014

Halloween, for me, is meh. With the exception of Wine Gal (she is my superhero alter-ego and she will CUT you with her corkscrew while sipping on a mini-bottle of Cab in order to save a glass a bottle a case of wine), I do not have the best track record of costuming, and 75% of the time I lose interest in assembling the ‘stume before it comes to fruition. When I was a sophomore in college I had a denim jumpsuit that was all the assemblage I needed for an entire year of socials and holidays – redneck social, Halloween, disco - but I stupidly threw it away. I’m still mad at myself: do they even sell J.Lo brand jumpsuits anymore? I only buy denim jumpsuits by J.Lo. I’ll check eBay. (Update: no luck on eBay.)

But what is meh for me is probably awesome for you, and I’m okay with that – we all have our strengths, and I genuinely respect and delight in other people’s talents. One of my favorite things is seeing what ole FJ comes up with for her Halloween look. I’ve shared this at least thrice on BBT and should probably make it the backdrop of my phone given how often I show it to people, but here she is as the Werewolf of London:

The Donk as Werewolf of London. I am terrified yet fascinated

Halloween 2012. Young children cried.

So, instead of stressing about thinking of and creating a costume, I instead found my inner Boppy & Basic BBT – it was a Tuesday, I don’t go to clubs on Tuesdays – and the result, I think we can all agree, was favorable: Melt in Your Mouth Pumpkin Cookies. I made these from scratch using only organic ingredients, sporting Uggs and an apron that said, “Kiss the Cook!” while listening to the new Taylor Swift album on my pink Jambox. I posted a selfie with a dot of flour on my cheek and captioned it, “missed a spot! #pumpkinspiceandeverythingnice #yummy #mycoworkersloveme” Then my roommates and I got in a flour fight and I posted another pic: “Flour Fight!!! #LOL #lovethesegirls #youwishyouhadthismuchfun”

melt in your mouth pumpkin cookies

Even though I accidentally halved the called-for amount of butter (the recipe said FOUR sticks of butter I am not Paula Deen) they are still awesome – perhaps more muffin-like than intended, but I think I’d rather have functioning arteries, ya know? And I obviously used only organic ingredients, but besides that #sensethetone

If you still need costume ideas, here: 32 ‘Sexy’ Halloween Costumes That Make No Sense (‘sexy’ corn and ‘sexy’ body bag are especially…’sexy’), or for those living in ATL - hit up this guy.

mens large 42 reg black trench coat great for halloween costume – $20

image 1

“long black coat great for Halloween or just fashion”

^^ I have been laughing at that ad since Monday (credit: A Social Mess)

 In other news…

-UPenn is offering a class for actual course credit entitled “Wasting Time on the Internet.” A few thoughts: 1. really. 2. do they need a guest speaker 3. as a parent I would be displeased 4. is there a Masters program? 5. I shoulda went to an Ivy League school

**note: I wrote that blurb on Tuesday, and The Skimm mentioned it Wednesday morning, so now I feel cheated. But I’m keeping it in anyway bc who’s to say their description is any better than mine?:

Speaking of things that can make your head spin, the University of Pennsylvania has created a new course called “Wasting Time on the Internet,” where students will be required to do just that.

See? It’s just different. But if y’all are hiring…holla

-Dang, this city…. credit: K

NYC from above

–THEY FOUND AMELIA EARHART?! <crosses off #6 on List of Things To Do>

-the Fireball/Anti-Freeze scare is just in Europe, chill. We’ll still be having our Fireball Christmas Party in December.

–best dog in the world??  Probably: Bandit takes under 30 seconds to fetch his human a beer – and he even makes the fridge door is properly shut. If I had a dog I’d get to work on this trick immediately.

-CharBaxMaines is running her TWENTIETH marathon this weekend – she’s coming in town for the NYC race and I will doggedly go to two of the five boroughs to cheer her on. Cheering people on as they run 26.2 miles is really quite tiring. #sisteroftheyear

Happy Hump Day & Halloween! Love, Wine Gal

 Not the best pic: you can barely see WG’s fanny pack – tho that is a nice shot of the cape, but in all the other photos, well…her strength (wine) had become her weakness (too much wine).

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Back to School

Posted by AllieB on September 4, 2014

It happened; it’s over. Summer’s done, and Fall is here. Fall means football – yay! #Gurley4Heisman; Fashion Week – booooo #neveragain; and, at least in NYC, the hottest weather we’ve had all year. Mother Nature, you’re doing it wrong. I was thinking the other day how much I used to love going back to school: finding out your teachers, what boys were in your classes, shopping for school supplies…I wish there was a working world equivalent; I bought a new Moleskine diary yesterday in an effort to reclaim some of the thrill, but Five Star 5-section spiral notebook it is not. Adulthood is the worst.

However, BBT was total weak sauce over the summer, so I can pretend like now I’m back in “school” and my “homework” is to post consistently. Preemptive disclaimer: I was not a straight-A student.

And now watch me exhaust this already tired metaphor:

Home Ec: I had a hunch that Chef Allie existed, and the proof is in the pudding: I’m legit. I finally learned how to chop opinions without going blind (pro tip (or tip I would’ve learned in Home Ec if it had been an option – silly feminists): put them in the fridge til cold, THEN cut – the cold counteracts the tear-causing enzyme or something I don’t know but it works) and now I can properly adhere to recipes because onions, it turns out, are in everything and skipping them can definitely affect the integrity of your final product. And god forbid you affect the integrity of your final product.

In the past week I’ve made Spicy Black Bean Stuffed Peppers (thanks, Pinterest) and Cilantro-Lime Grilled Chicken with Strawberry-Jalapeno Salsa (DomesticateMe is one of my favorites – even before I started cooking her recipes). See links + pics below…you almost can’t tell which is professional and which is mine, except for you totally can – sorry I don’t shoot my meals with a CanonMegaHugeProfesh Camera:

Spicy Black Bean Stuffed Peppers

spicy black bean stuffed peppers

I took the liberty of replacing corn with some avocado and adding more cheese (duh)

Cilantro-Lime Grilled Chicken with Strawberry-Jalapeno Salsa

cilantro-lime chicken with strawberry-jalapeno salsa

I grilled the chicken in my iron grill pan, and thanks to the marinade it was juicy and moist and all of those words that are good re: grilled meats but horrible in every other sense.

English: I am writing every day. I bought a paperback copy of On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King which has anecdotes and exercises and all sorts of things that will poof! make me a published author.

Free Period: I finally installed our Amazon Fire TV this week (credit: CharBaxMaines). The talking remote works incredibly well and now we are ready for the Polar Vortex which will be here from September – April. Joy.

hilary as abominable snowman

PSA: this is Hilary on a good day the abominable snowman, mascot of the Polar Vortex. Beware of the Beast.

I know things are going south when I start throwing the abominable snowman Hilary under the bus – we’re done! And I promise not to post anymore pictures of food I’ve cooked for a full month. But if you want to like message me about what’s coming up next in BBT’s Kitchen, by all means – feel free.

TGIT!

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F is for Fur

Posted by AllieB on March 13, 2014

Hello. I was sorting through my closet recently, and I was sad to realize I probably wouldn’t have occasion to wear my fur vest again this season. Well aren’t I the lucky one because today dawned 18 degrees with 30mph winds… I’ll probably be sporting this thing thru May. Happy Memorial Day love BBT and her vest.

I digress. Let’s get to the heart of today’s relevant matters:

1. GET YOUR GD GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AWAY FROM ME

2. Atlanta was excellent. It made me really excited for spring up here…I still believe in seasons, and Mother Nature will reward me for my loyalty.

atl collage From top left:

  • this is something fun you can do in Snapchat – add your mph as you snap! This was taken on a stroll around Chastain Park. #haulingA #tryharder #grannycangofaster
  • Silly Sally!! She was an absolute delight, and a very willing participant in this photo (BBT: do something about your hairs)
  • ATL as seen from Casa di K via the skillz of Professional Snapper, A
  • Ok, this isn’t ATL, it was on the subway the other morning – but is that not B.D. Wong?? I’ve been watching a lot of Law & Order: SVU recently, but I’m pretty sure it’s him…

3. BIG news: I have a new favorite mascara…! My gold standard L’Oreal Voluminous will always have a place in my makeup bag, but I recently purchased L’Oreal Voluminous Butterfly Mascara because who could resist a “revolutionary butterfly brush” that will give my lashes a “winged-out effect.” Turns out – it actually does what it says! I curl my lashes 9 out of 10 times before putting on mascara, but some mornings I’m like, “ain’t nobody got time for that.” The technologically advanced makeup brush really did extend the outer corners of my lashes while providing the usual 6x my normal volume. It absolutely does not replace an eyelash curler, but for those mornings when you just can’t handle that extra, 3 second step, it gets the job done.

l-oreal-paris-voluminous-butterfly-mascara

4. Hello, PornBurger. The craziest thing is that this dude makes all these up himself – I will pay him $1 million to open a restaurant. Or maybe we can just get married?

pornburger_thefullmounty

 oh hey.

5. WHERE IS THAT AIRPLANE? Seriously though – where is it? This is beyond bizarre.

It doesn’t even feel like a Thursday – it feels like a horrible parallel universe version of Thursday that lasts 72 hours and all you want is that glass of wine you’ve legitimately earned (for once) and you can see it but you can’t reach it…. That doesn’t even make sense. I gotta get out of here. Suffice it to say, I am ready for the weekend.

ready to party

 Yep. Happy Weekend from BBT and her vest

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