Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘celebs’

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Today is the most…ugh, whatever

Posted by AllieB on January 17, 2011

Today is the third Monday in January, thus, according to British psychologist Cliff Arnall, it is the most depressing day of the year. Something about weather plus holiday debts plus failed New Year’s resolutions makes it such.

Whatever his formula is, it seems fitting. I didn’t work at all last week and am in severe denial about being here today. I’m glad to be doing something, I guess…fortunately, as it’s only the third week of the year, I don’t yet feel badly about not accomplishing my non-resolution resolutions. Oh. They probably mean my ones from 2010…dammit. Actually, I did okay for myself last year – hey, things are lookin’ up…!

Anyway, if you’re looking for some ideas as to how to celebrate Blue Monday, as it is so-called, here are some ideas (per NYMag).

  • Hold yourself as you rock back and forth in the shower with your clothes on.
  • Type out a comprehensive list of all the goals you’ve failed to accomplish and all the dreams you’ll never fulfill.
  • For dinner, put on a pair of ill-fitting sweatpants and a stained sweatshirt and eat cereal out of the box while you lie in bed.
  • Watch Requiem for a Dream, followed by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, followed by Million Dollar Baby, followed by Shoah.

Neat. Those are some really great ideas. That first tip makes me think of the HORRIBLE and incredibly effective anti-meth commercials that I won’t even link to here on BBT because they are so disturbing; if you want to see them, goog “meth commercials Georgia.” But maybe wait until tomorrow – they will not help your Blue Monday blues. In that same vein (wordplay!), I wouldn’t watch Requiem for a Dream again for anything – even if my only other theatrical option was In the Land of Women, I wouldn’t watch it. Attn: Mr. Aronofsky, something is not quite right in that temple topper of yours…

I gotta say, just recognizing the bleakness of today in this manner has cheered me up significantly. Boo yah, Blue Monday.

And you can always just be glad you didn’t show up to an internationally televised awards program looking like Helena Bonham Carter did at the Golden Globes last night. I know she’s all ‘zany’ and ‘unique’ and whatever, but WTF is going on here. Be more normal, please, and, frankly, less terrifying.

from NYMag.com

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

She’ll do

Posted by AllieB on December 22, 2010

I know I do a lot of hating on various female celebs on this thing – J Simps is a disaster, and don’t even get me started on ole Boobs Legsly (sorry, Joey – that’s just the way it’s going to be here at BBT), and I feel this sets forth an inaccurate representation of what I, AllieB, am really all about.

And what I am all about, it seems, is pizza, wine, library books, and Mila Kunis. I freaking love Mila Kunis. It wasn’t immediate; she used to bug the crap outta me on That 70’s Show, but that was then and this is now – and now I think she’s awesome.

Here is why I luv Mila:

  1. She is really pretty
  2. She can speak 7 languages – on one episode of Family Guy Meg, the character Mila does the voice for, randomly started speaking Ukrainian, and it was the coolest thing I’ve ever heard
  3. She seems fun/normal – in fact, we’d probably be besties were we ever to have a Meet & Greet
  4. She is, like, really pretty
  5. She dresses well – Go Fug Yourself compiled an interesting retrospective of recent outfits

Given her, um, romantical scene with Natalie Portman in Black Swan I should maybe take my affections down a notch, but it’s really just an innocent girl crush – I want to be her, not be with her…just to clarify…

This is kind of rad – Sandstorm has always been a favorite, and it gets particularly trance-y at 1:21. I hope they’re hosting late night.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

BBT goes to the movies

Posted by AllieB on December 15, 2010

‘Tis the season for movies. The big blockbusters come out during the summer, and then the Oscar-striving ones come out around now – Black Swan, for instance. Black Swan is a really f’ed up and horrifying psychological thriller about a ballerina, played by Natalie Portman, and her inner demons. Mila Kunis plays her rival. Both are amazing and both were recently nominated for Golden Globe Awards.

I left the theater in a cold sweat. I took myself home, poured myself a glass o wine, sat down on my couch, and reminded myself that I am not insane nor am I losing my mind. It was incredibly intense. That said – I highly recommend going to see it.

The next movie I see, I think, will be a light and breezy rom-com. How Do You Know fits this bill perfectly. There’s a love triangle betwixt Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, and Paul Rudd, and then Jack Nicholson is in it, too. I don’t so much care about the plot in rom-coms, mostly I find that it is important that I do not hate the female lead; I happen to love Reese, so we’re all set. HOWEVER, there is one detail that I’m already having enormous difficulty getting my head around, and that is that Reese’s character is an aging…wait for it…PROFESSIONAL SOFTBALL PLAYER.

No, she’s not. It’s utterly unbelievable. Refer to the photos below:

Yeah, I don’t see it either. I should mention that when I goog’ed “professional softball player female” I got a lot of returns on this Jennie Finch person, who is apparently “the most famous female softball player” ever. This is probably because she is blonde and poses in her bikini a lot. I’m not going to include a photo of her because it kind of refutes the point I’m trying to make, but here’s a link. Although, I can think of one person who once played softball – she had her own bat, even – who isn’t terribly beastly…Pallison, does this sound familiar??

Anyway, I think I will accept this egregious error in plot and see the movie anyway. Like I said, I’m kinda in the Dark Side right now after the traumatizing experience of Black Swan (again, I really think it’s a film worth watching), but nothing that a good dose of boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-gets-girl-back can’t fix.

Annie: Pepper lies a lot. She probably hasn’t been to a movie, either. Actually, I think it’s better when you don’t know what you’re missing.
Daddy Warbucks: Punjab, buy out the 8:00 show. Let’s all go to the movies.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Kindly cool it with the canoodling

Posted by AllieB on December 13, 2010

JustJared reports that, last Thursday,  Boobs Legsly and Ryan Gosling were seen canoodling at the Standard Hotel in NYC after his premiere of his new film, Blue Valentine (per Fleming’s somewhat adamant request, I finally watched the trailer – I encourage you all to do so…this looks like a good flick). Not only did she sneakily enter the screening of the film through a back entrance to keep a “low profile” (you’re not that famous, Boobs), but they also ate dinner at the Standard Grill after the party where they enjoyed a nice meal of…oysters.

I am very irritated with this development. Here is why:

  1. age difference (she’s 23, he’s 30)
  2. in The Notebook he loves a girl named Allie…that is my name
  3. I really like him; I cannot stand her

This is even more bothersome than the Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhall coupling, largely because Taylor Swift is so meh, IMO, although I do enjoy her music, and Boobs is just sooo annoying. What is WRONG WITH YOUR MOUTH.

Oh, whatever.

If you’re still in need of Christmas gifts and are looking to air on the side of obscure – here are some great ideas. I’m a little obsessed with these NYC vs. Paris prints – there’s a whole series of them. And surely there is someone on your list for whom a silver retainer necklace would be perfect.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted by AllieB on December 6, 2010

I have read two articles of significance today, one of which I found pleasing, yet hardly shocking, and the other I found incredibly disturbing and extremely shocking.

The first is just a different spin on this ilk of article that comes out every now and again that serves to bolster the morale of those of us with vices. “Bad Habits That Can Boost Your Health” was released by AOL, and heralds the effects of cursing, playing your music too loud, and wine.

While experts could not pinpoint the exact explanation, lead researcher Dr. Richard Stephens and his team believe that throwing around the F-bomb may trigger the flight-or-fight response, which can increase heart rate and aggression and help the body cope with pain.

I find that using a curse word when someone really pisses you off is also helpfull – it might not be physical pain I’m dealing with, but it certainly helps me focus on the physical pain I’d like to inflict upon them. In addition to the positive impacts of expletives, the article also reports that listening to loud music can help boost your memory, and a glass of wine/day will help keep the doctor away. GTK.

Conversely, to counterract this good news, Charlotte K Bax just sent me a link to an alarming article in the NYTimes entitled, “In Kentucky, Noah’s Ark Theme Park Planned.”

The park will include a 100-foot Tower of Babel, a first-century Middle Eastern village and a journey through the Old Testament, with special effects depicting Moses, the 10 plagues and the parting of the Red Sea. For children, there will be a petting zoo, live bird and animal shows and a play area with ziplines and climbing nets — all Bible-themed. Even the trainer, Dan Breeding, will present animal acts with a Gospel message about creation.

In addition, animals will actually live in pens on the ark – but only youth-aged ones, they assure us.

“We think that God would probably have sent healthy juvenile-sized animals that weren’t fully grown yet, so there would be plenty of room,” said Mr. Zovath, a retired Army lieutenant colonel heading the ark project. “We want to show how Noah would have taken care of them, taken care of waste management, taken care of water needs and food needs.”

Ah, but of course. Waste management in the time of Noah is certainly crucial to the development and enhancement of America’s youth. What’s more, the ministry behind this whole idea is the same group that also founded the Creation Museum, a mere 45 miles away from the Ark Theme Park, whose displays feature “…dioramas designed to debunk evolution show humans and dinosaurs coexisting peacefully on an earth created by God in six days.  The ministry, Answers in Genesis, believes that the earth is only 6,000 years old — a controversial assertion even among many Bible-believing Christians.”

I feel really uncomfortable. I’m also delving into topics I never wanted to really touch on here at BBT, so we’ll move along to the Ugly…IIIII’m breezy!

Happy Holidays from Taylor Where the Hell is My Mom-sen!!

Rachel: OH MY GOD!!!

Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

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