Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘BBT Recommends’

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Cheers

Posted by AllieB on September 30, 2011

I hate Rihanna’s new song. Someone needs to remix that thing stat because she sounds like she just took 12 too many vicodin. Whatevs – cheers to the freaking weekend.

This blog is amazing. It’s called ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS. Credit: Bobby.

YOU HAVE A METH ADDICTION CARLA. WE’RE NOT EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I’M A DOG AND YOU CAN’T TALK TO DOGS. THINK ABOUT IT. I’M NOT EVEN YOUR DOG. YOU PROBABLY STOLE ME, BECAUSE YOU’RE ON METH. GO TO REHAB. DRY YOURSELF OUT. YOU STILL HAVE SOME TEETH LEFT.

YOU HAVE A METH ADDICTION CARLA.

WE’RE NOT EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I’M A DOG AND YOU CAN’T TALK TO DOGS. THINK ABOUT IT.

I’M NOT EVEN YOUR DOG. YOU PROBABLY STOLE ME, BECAUSE YOU’RE ON METH.

GO TO REHAB. DRY YOURSELF OUT. YOU STILL HAVE SOME TEETH LEFT.

Have great weekend! Don’t do meth.

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Struggleville Shrimp

Posted by AllieB on September 26, 2011

I am having a blog-related identity crisis. Whenever people ask me what my blog is about, the answer with which I usually respond is, “nothing.” Now there’s a glowing recommendation. Please, everyone, read my blog about absolutely nothing! For this reason, I think I might take some time and figure out what Baxter Bark Twice is all about. I’m not eschewing BBT altogether – I mean, there’s some good stuff here – but I need some direction.

Mel: I’d like to see you have a little direction.
Cher: I have direction!
Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.

Cher and I are totes on the same page…

Meanwhile, here’s what I think about some stuff:

READ: Girls in White Dresses. If you are a dude, skip to the next item. This book is about 20-30 year olds in New York City just doing stuff that normal people of that age do. It’s funny and relevant and a legit page turner. It’s kind of a fresh take on the whole Everyone I Know Is Getting Married thing, but it also talks about first jobs, first homes, first loves, and my soul mate this guy who is very wealthy, suffers from a severe case of OCD and, once a week, cooks up a box of Kraft mac n’ cheese and eats it straight from the pan, mauling it like a lion might its prey. It’s not quite as strange when read in context. This is a quick and easy yet somehow still poignant read.

WATCH: 2 Broke Girls. It was funny. The two main characters are funny, and I think there’s great potential. Tonight @ 8:30 – CBS.

WATCH: Revenge. Ok, I’m hooked. I have no idea how this show could possibly last longer than one season, but that is fine with me so long as it’s a season full of episodes like last week’s pilot. I mean, it’s obviously trashy, but it’s filmed in the lovely setting of the Hamptons, and the main character (Rebecca from Brothers and Sisters) doesn’t annoy me that much. The story line is rife with scandal, extra-marital affairs, addiction, secrecy, blackmail, and a really cute yellow lab named Sam…basically it has all the makings of good, quality television. Wednesdays @ 10 p.m. – ABC.

DO NOT WATCH: Whitney. In a word: AWKWARD. Actually, I’ll probably watch it a couple more times before I ditch it completely, but I don’t do well with live studio audiences.

DRINK: Bleasdale Broad-Side Shiraz Cabernet Malbec. It is a blend, according to Captain Obvious, and it’s one of the more delicious reds I’ve had recently: very drinkable with any of a number of things, I’m sure – I had it with pizza. It retails for about $15 in stores, give or take, and sells for $24/bottle at Treehouse. Warning: don’t actually drink it at Treehouse because they will serve it to you piping hot and in a 3 oz glass – take it home to chill and enjoy in a more reasonably sized glass, like this one.

So, I’m a work in progress.

Over-thinking it in Atlanta,

BBT.

Sidebar – re: today’s heading, do you remember the Struggleville Shrimp from Last Resort?? Good food; good times.

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Nothing nefarious here

Posted by AllieB on August 25, 2011

If I was hooked up to some kind of heart monitor or similar right now, there’d be flat line – flat line -flat line – teeny tiny blip – flat line…and so on. I did BLAST 900, which I’ve always thought was something of a cult. Honestly, I think this about all exercise trends, from yoga to boot camp to core fusion to jump roping – it’s all a load of BS; if you want to get in shape, go for a run. Well, be that as it may, I’ve had a hard time getting my act together in this suffocating heat. I may as well put a sopping wet comforter in the dryer for 15 minutes, take it out, wrap it around my face, then go running – it’s the exact same thing.

Anyway, so Blast: it was hard. I feel pretty good now, but I’ve been done for over an hour. I think I blacked out – I remember lying on my mat after the last segment and then suddenly I was in my apartment gchatting. So…I guess I got home safely. If I can scrounge up the cash monay I’ll for sure go back – given my tendency towards laziness and a markedly short attention span, it’s definitely up my alley.

I wish I could say, “up my alley” without feeling like a pervert.

Candles are nice for both scent and ambiance and I have a new found obsession with having one going in every room of my house. It’s a fire hazard, mayhaps, but damn if my place doesn’t smell divine. I just got this Lucia candle from Scout for the Home, the store my BFF Nancy Duffey owns and my go-to for gifts, knick knacks, and just general hanging out when I wish to be surrounded by pretty things. I highly recommend:

It’s just lovely.

I got some other random kind of candle on clearance at Target earlier – sea salt or something…it is decidedly less lovely.

Blast 900…candles…sheesh, what have I become??

That’s better I’m terribly sorry….

TGIT!!!

I leave you with this new(ish) song from Florence + The Machine…LIKE:

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A wedgie wedding

Posted by AllieB on August 11, 2011

TGIT.

WATCH: Despicable Me. This is a deLIGHTful film featuring the voices of Kristen Wiig, Will Arnett, Russell Brand, Jason Segel, some other people, and….Steve Carrell. Before you’re like, NO I’m over Steve Carrell and his voice, know this: he speaks in an Eastern European accent. I LOVE Eastern European accents and Steve’s is hilarious! I rented DM at the beach with the fam and we watched it 4 times in 24 hours. Granted, it was raining and it was the only movie we had, but still….it’s that good. Here is a clip featuring Agnes. IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE!!!

It’s a great movie for boys and girls, men and women, etc etc. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

FEMALES: it’s not brand new information, but gel manicures are the bomb. I got “Bubblegum” which is a lovely pale pink and it’s like I got a phalange makeover – my hands look so sophisticated and elegant…two words not so frequently used w/r/t BBT…and I’m partial to Glamour Nails in The Peach, although if you’re further north Hammond Nails in the Chastain shopping center is really good, too…

GET IN MY BELLY: Hip Pops! Based in Athens, Melissa Fontaine has recently launched this popsicle truck which will be debuting at the UGA v Boise State tailgate. These flava-flavs look awesome…I can’t wait to try! Play your part: go like them on Facebook.

HOW TO: Drink in Public. Shout-out to Savannah for having no open container laws…you know what place does? Athens.

Freaky deaky:

A wedgie wedding: this week’s featured phrase on Things People Goog That Lead Them to BBT.

Grossest Phrase: “why do my feet swell with cheese.” SICK.

Proof Positive That People Are Retarded Phrase: where cann I butt Winn Dixie piminto chees. This is a shot in the dark, but I bet you can find it at Winn Dixie…

Maybe I need to talk less about cheese…

I need a talented graphic designer - seriously – if you know someone or are someone who might want to help me create a BBT persona, please email me: baxterbarktwiceblog@gmail.com.

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My top 10 or 15 or maybe 17 favorite TV characters

Posted by AllieB on August 8, 2011

Today seemed like a two-a-day kind of day.

My Top Ten Favorite TV Personas (I didn’t list numerically because I found I can’t commit to a set order – consider it a ten-way..or like 17-way tie)

Barney – How I Met Your Mother

Stephen Colbert

Ross Gellar & Chandler Bing – Friends

Liz Lemon & Jack Donaghy – 30 Rock

Miranda Hobbs – SATC

Flip – Shameless

Tim Riggins, Coach Taylor and Tami Taylor on FNL

Penny – Happy Endings (which HAS been renewed, btw)

Claire and Luke Dunphy..and Cam and Lily – Modern Family

Larry David

Franklin & Bash – Franklin & Bash

Sweet Dee – Always Sunny

Ron Swanson – Parks and Recreation

I cheated. That is more than ten but you try listing your top ten because it is HARD.

When it gets closer to September, I will do a comprehensive list of all of the best shows and their respective season premiers. I love fall! Until then, set your DVR because TLC is doing a special on Pippa Middleton tomorrow. Apparently she doesn’t actually talk to anyone directly in the special, it’s a compilation of her rise to hotness. IN – I am fascinated by her torso.

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