Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘B Spears’

Methods of Madness

Posted by AllieB on August 29, 2013

Every time I think something is going to be different, it is the same. This is likely because I don’t do anything different on my end to affect the outcome – you know that’s a definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If this is the only qualifier, I belong in the nuthouse. Moving: moving sucks. I hate moving, and I suck at it. I have all these plans to be intentional and smart: packing in advance, organizing my stuff so it’s easier to unpack, throwing out what I don’t want…however, because of in spite of these plans, I have been avoiding my house all week, choosing instead to work late, drink Pacificos, and visit other people’s apartments. By the time I get home I’m obviously spent…tomorrow, I say, as I turn off of my light. I am running out of tomorrows. Jordan!! Tonight will be so much fun! I’ll make some wine and order pizza.

moving

Progress?? (they are empty because I haven’t started) (I have more stuff than that) (help) (everyone else moved out) (there’s an echo)

Speaking of insanity…Miley Cyrus is gross, and I’m obviously not going to dignify her spectacle on Sunday night with airtime on BBT. Her…twerks? gyrations? miniseizures? whatever those were…made me yearn for quality performances like Britney’s from 2000 & 2001. I’m not saying she’s a great singer, or that her songs are “good” (they’re not good – they’re awesome) but that girl can DANCE. And she looked damn good. I spent some time watching YouTubes, which you can go to here (2000 was the best, IMO). And, for some eye candy and personal motivation, I have shared this picture below. Excuse me while I go do 1,000 crunches.

just....dang

just….dang

The Miley backlash nearly broke the internet, that was really insane. I don’t like to weigh in on things that everyone else has already discussed to death, but I will say this: skinny though she obviously is, Miley has a flabby tush. There is nothing hot about a flat, wobbly pancake butt.

Time continue passes at an alarming rate, and September starts on Sunday. I can’t quite get my head around this, but regardless of whether I can or not it’s still happening, so I guess I’ll embrace the perks, namely: football and new tv. Stolen straight from the Microsoft Office Suite of HadleyPMill, I share with you this fall schedule for network tv (if it’s Real Housewives you’re looking for, you’re in the wrong place. Also, quit watching that crap). I know you can’t really read it, right-click to enlarge if you’re on a comp #duh

1Competitive Fall 2013

Green = new show. Dates of premiers also helpfully listed

I went to Atlanta last weekend! It was a last minute thing, and it was a great visit – I saw many of my favorite people and ate lots of my favorite foods. Plus, I got to go to Target, which may have been the real highlight. I hear there’s a Target in Brooklyn, but I’m more likely to book a ticket to Atlanta and go to the one on Sidney Marcus than go there. See below for some of my favorite comforts of home…

from top right: over-friend spicy chicken (YUM); Georgia peach cobbler (YUMMM); Tina; JTommLiv and BBT at her baby shower...!

from left: JTommLiv and BBT at her baby shower…! over-friend spicy chicken (YUM); Georgia peach cobbler (YUMMM); Tina.

That’s all, y’all –  Happy Labor Day Weekend! Wish me luck on my move, and, above all…

go-dawgs_display_image

#GATA #soexcitedbutsonervous #sicem #clemsonsucks #orangeisugly

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Everyone is entitled to my opinion

Posted by AllieB on May 31, 2012

Herro. I started this post in the middle and then wrote the ending and then this part, so you might be like, “BBT, wtf are you talking about.” Try and keep up.

Much to my GREAT excitement, the Opening Ceremonies of the XXX Olympiad are in less than two months!!! This also means, obviously, less than two months til two whole weeks of bird dogging Kate Middleton’s wardrobe choices. I fear the Duchess is getting a bit thin, however…I do hope she’s keeping the myriad pressures of Royal Life at bay and not transferring them to an eating disorder. Too skinny = bony = weathered. No one likes a weathered princess.

Never will I ever criticize B Spears – nothing she can do will ever undo her MTV Video Music Award performance in 2000 – but the list of items she requested for her dressing room on the X-Factor is just…typical. I wonder what kind of chicken? KFC? Popeye’s?

*34 Herve Leger dresses
*12 Snickers bars
*10 snack-size bags of Doritos
*six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week
*12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room
*10 pieces of chicken
*four pints of potato salad every week.
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

My list would read as follows:

*Olivia Palermo’s wardrobe
*My e-reader (hopefully if I have my own dressing room I will have upgraded from my Nook, version Archaic)
*One bag of cheetos from which I can have a few each day; this will be strictly monitored by my stand-in willpower, which I will need provided by way of large, scary woman. See qualifications below
*large, scary woman to stand in as my willpower. Responsibilities will include: monitoring cheeto intake, forcibly removing me from sofa to exercise…I still don’t understand why Jessica Simpson hasn’t hired one of these yet.
*one orchid/table surface
*pizza. Pizza from Tartufo, Fellini’s, Antico, and Mellow Mush…the pizzas are to be delivered hot, fresh, and in random order – keep me guessing!
*three Labrador puppies for 20 minutes each day, with one always on-call
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

So, this went viral: a letter regarding uncouth behavior at the local Piedmont Driving Club. I’m going to refrain from comment, but here are some high(low?)lights:

  • one member decided to play the 14th hole completely naked. I have not researched it, but I suspect this is a crime in Georgia
  • one member decided to show off to other members, and a caddie, his ability to pick up a golf ball with his naked butt cheeks.

Moving along…Domestic Allie made a rare appearance the other weekend. I guess Tina just brings out the best in me…she and Kirk whipped up a pretty awesome meal of kabobs at their new house, and everyone had a great time. I helped skew the skewers for a little while, but mostly I was in charge of watching feeding Tina wine. Kabobs are a messy business; someone’s gotta keep the chef hydrated.

This is us in our aprons. I’ve opted for the 1960’s photo finish in Picasa because aprons are sooo 1960’s.

I’ve always considered myself to be fairly well educated, and I am a proud alumna of The University of Georgia, but I’m feeling a bit slighted re: course selection…my Art History class on Theosophy (I don’t even know what that word means anymore) is way less relevant than these options. (Source: Reader’s Digest, June 2012. I know.)

  • How To Watch Television – Montclair State. I mean, I could teach that class, amiright??
  • Harry Potter: Finding Your Patronus – Oregon State. BBT says: legit.
  • Alien Sex – University of Rochester. Um, no.

I try to read this blog once a week because it is so funny.

THE FIRST TIME I LIVED ON MY OWN

This isn’t not not true.

TGIT! Today is the last day of May, so tomorrow is the first day of June.

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Victory! Fail.

Posted by AllieB on May 23, 2011

To preface: this week is an atypical week. I am wrapping up my job and concurrently transitioning to my new one; this is a very exciting change, I feel like I’m practically a grown-up…..anyway, be advised – BBT might suffer as a result – not forever, just for the next few days.

I’ll tell you who else is suffering: me, looking at Misha Barton.

(people.com by way of CCH)

Fail, indeed. Although I do approve of her reading material – Bill Bryson is a very hilarious author. Start with I’m a Stranger Here Myself – it’s a compilation of articles he wrote about various idiosyncrasies that make America so awesome. For instance, the number of people who die every year in mattress related deaths, or the wonder that is the grocery store. Whatever, he’s funny – BBT highly recommends. I bet Mischa is just carrying it around for show – it’s upside down for pete’s sake.

The new Bachelorette started last night. Pass.

Oprah’s last show is Wednesday. I thought that already happened?

Beyonce did her crazy, legs-flail-about-as-though-independent-from-her-body dance moves at the Billboard Awards Sunday. Seriously – how. B Spears also performed, to some decidedly lackluster reviews…but at least she looked good.

Here is Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week. I heart Tex’s Tacos. This is me having the all new carne asada taco – they upped the ante on the carne and it’s the heat. I hadn’t noticed the muy auténtico decor they have in the truck…looks good, boys.

Are you watching Parks and Recreation yet???

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Bummer

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2011

Well, this is really too bad. Old Britney vs New Britney. Sick Dance Moves vs Are You Sick? Dance Moves. Wow, You Are an Awesome Dancer vs Wow, You Were an Awesome Dancer. Moonwalk vs Electric Slide. J Simps Newlyweds vs J Simps Employee of the Month. Allie vs Hilary. If it ain’t broke but then you break it, you can’t necessarily fix it….whatevs, you get my drift; it’s not good.

You do NOT need sound to appreciate her rump shakin booty awesomeness/slightly less awesomeness.

I will always, always love B Spears…but…at some point everyone has to retire and hang up their nude-colored bodysuits – Glory Days don’t last forever. From PopDust by way of NYMag.

Today my horo began with this:

Who wants to order the prix fixe dinner when you can belly up to the buffet table?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – these people have got my number. Elle.com -> best horos ever.

Today I am trying out the Yumbii food truck because I have never been to it and have been dying to go. I love tacos! Also, it is their day in Buckhead, so it’s convenient. Holla!

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DANNY DEVITO I LOVE YOUR WORK

Posted by AllieB on September 29, 2010

I’ve been a B Spears fan since day numero uno. When she was in her heyday she outdid herself each year at the VMA’s, and it was my favorite thing to watch. I’m not even going to talk about the debacle of 2007 (MANIC ’07), but the years prior to that were amazing.

Last night Glee, a show I’ve come to really enjoy, did the music of Britney Spears. My favorite cast member, Brittany (coincidence!!), did the best version with her rendition of Slave 4 U. Please watch below. Just for my own personal enjoyment I’ve included a video of Britney herself doing it back in ’01. Viva la Britney!

The real thing:

If I had access to a python, wasn’t terrified of snakes, and it was socially acceptable to wear that ensemble in public (and look like that in it), I would so be this version of Britney for Halloween. Sorry I’m not sorry.

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