Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘atlanta’

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A Cinderella Story

Posted by AllieB on May 19, 2011

Let’s check in with Kate. She and William went to the North Island of the Seychelles for their honeymoon and it cost $720,000. Sounds about right. This place looks nice, I think I might go there for my honeymoon, also – my honeymoon with Prince Carl. Meanwhile, Pippa is galavanting around Europe with ex-boyfriends, taking off her ‘kini tops, and being an attention monger in general. I say good for her: she’s just having a good time, letting loose – she deserves some attention, her sister just married a Prince for crying out loud. I can even forgive her long torso.

The story below was cut and pasted from an email chain just this morning. The referenced evening actually took place some time ago, but it’s fun to relive every couple of months. Let’s call her Tabitha* – Tabitha is a hoot. To accomplish these feats on a single Thursday evening, well…it’s impressive.

That was a great Thursday night. I know it started off with pitchers of margs at el azteca then trivia at churchills then downhill slide at 5p. The sandal just slipped right off my foot, as did my purse from my arm at some point that night. I woke up with only my phone. Luckily, the Papa Johns website had my credit card info stored so I was able to order some pizza to tide me over til others got off work. Then my dear friend Anonymous Boy went to 5p and retrieved my purse but couldn’t find my shoe. He showed up at my apt with a list he had started making at work of things that he was supposed to bring to me. I have recreated said list below.

1. Purse
2. Vodka
3. Shoe
4. Jello

Everything was crossed off the list except shoe. Fail.

Fail, indeed.

*Name has obviously been changed. BBT only throws strangers under the bus, unless it’s Hilary, and clearly I know no one who goes by the name “Tabitha.”

Looking for something to do tonight? Someplace to go enjoy this glorious spring weather? Say no mas: come to The Ivy at 5:30 and have the most fun you’ve ever had.

“I work until beer o’clock.”
— Stephen King

You and me both, Stephen King. You and me both.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Nom nom nom nom nom

Posted by AllieB on May 17, 2011

There’s a Food Truck Extravaganza at Souper Jenny tonight. At first I kept seeing that it was Top Secret, but people have been Tweeting about it and posting it on Facebook, so I think the cat’s out of the bag. Yumbii…Tex’s Tacos…Souper J…it’s a win/win/win.

Me, I will have: spicy pulled pork quesadilla from Yumbii, a carne asada taco from Tex’s, and…yeah, that sounds good. Oh. I just saw that Souper Jenny is serving up a smoked gouda and bacon pimento cheese panini…christ on a cracker, it’s BATHING SUIT SEASON PEOPLE. You are not helping.

Freaking Tuesdays.

I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Who gets around and who doesn’t

Posted by AllieB on May 10, 2011

Now this is interesting: your, eh, success with the opposite sex could be dictated by much more than your looks, personality, or lack thereof – it could have a lot to do with your given moniker…

If you’re a dude, it’s good to be Chris…less so Edward.

Ladies, if you’re Vanessa you might be promiscuous, and if you’re Dorothy…you probably own some red shoes.

My double standard is definitely showing – Chris is lucky and Vanessa is promiscuous? Thanks a lot, modern day society. I just wrote this whole paragraph about names and what they make me think about people, but it got too political and potentially offensive, so I erased and will simply allow you to make your own interpretations of the data compiled by someone else. BBT is a controversy-free zone…ish.

But really, I think we can all agree that it is not shocking to see that Tamara is #3 on the list on the left…I mean, c’mon.

Equally not shocking: Taylor Momsen and Jessica Szohr have been officially dropped from Gossip Girl. To the first I say: good riddance!! To the second: I think you are cool in real life, so leaving the WORST ROLE EVER will only lead to good things. Seriously, Vanessa blows. I haven’t really been keeping up with GG, mostly because it’s unwatchable, but I do know that I do not like this new Charlie person – Serena’s cuz – who’s been signed on as a regular. In last night’s episode, during the heat of a make-out, she asked Dan Humphrey to call her Serena…in the words of NYMag’s Daily Intel: minus 1,999,748 points. Mega creep.

Lastly, on a more G-rated note, I wrote a blurb featuring Scout for the Home, my favorite store owned by my favorite person named after my second favorite dog, for Buckhead Patch. Check it out, recommend it, etc…not for me, but for Scout.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

The Fifth of May

Posted by AllieB on May 5, 2011

HAPPY CINCO de MAYO!!! Let’s jump right in. Tex’s Tacos, a little food truck I mention from time to time, is having a fiesty fiesta with their neighbors, Kramer’s aka Kramerica aka the bar. I’m not sure if Skinny Girl margs are on the menu, but you can bet yer ass that some tasty tacos will be…Souper Jenny has free sangria…check out this  totally manic website to find out what else is happening in your world tonight.

Good talk. See ya out there.

I often criticize others for their inability to behave, speak, or dress in a sensical manner. Where are their filters? Their scruples? Their MIRRORS??

Hello, pot? This is kettle – you’re black. Case in point: an interview that aired on the WSB 5 o’clock news a couple of years back wherein I discussed savings bonds. I know as much about saving money as Hilary does about shirts that aren’t plaid, so clearly I’m the ideal person to weigh in on smart, practical, safe ways to save chedda and generate decent interest. Here’s the online article – I am ever so grateful that the video is unavailable.

“When I think of savings bonds, I think of old fashioned, old time, not really the best way to save or invest your money,” said Allie Baxter.

CD rates at most banks are around 3 percent. But I-series savings bond are a much better deal…..[blah blah blah money blah blah interest rate etc etc]…..In six months, because of inflation, the interest rate will go to six percent; double what lots of banks offer on traditional CDs.

“Oh, it would make sense to get into that, then,” said Baxter

Oh, would it? I sound borderline uneducated. The interview was filmed at the Fellini’s on Peachtree on a sunny Friday afternoon; I was there enjoying a midday meal with The Original Serve (herro Billy, Pal, Pants, Tina). Although my “friends” definitely egged me on, I never would’ve donated my dignity volunteered had the tv crew not mentioned that it was for Clark Howard’s segment. I’d jump off a bridge for Clark Howard. WWCHD?

I’m having a hard time remembering why it was a good idea to share that story…

Vamanos, muchachos.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

Do as I say, never as I do

Posted by AllieB on April 20, 2011

I wish I could say, “disclaimer: the following story didn’t actually happen” or something, but I cannot. I swear I’m not a total social retard – like, I know I’m not – but when I fail, I do so spectacularly.

Cut to: Saturday at Kramers. I was sitting casually at the bar, as I did for entirely too long that day, and I found myself without anyone to talk to. Since I am comfortable sharing this detail, it is obvious that I am not a loser, I just am by myself sometimes. . . anyway, there I was, sitting, and I thought, hey – why not meet someone new. So I turned to the gentleman sitting a few seats down from me, assessed the situation, and tried to think of something to say.

Me: Did you know your beer is frozen?

Him: <stares at the obviously frozen beer, then back at me> Yeah, I actually did notice that.

Me: I hate it when that happens…did you, uh, bring it from home?

Him: <with a look that could only be described as pity, swivels on stool, conversation terminated>

No. He did not bring his frozen beer from home, Allie, YOU IDIOT.

I’m going to change the subject.

Last night I made a really delicious omelette – how the H do you spell omlette?!? Anyway, I sauteed some green peppers, onions, and shrooms, poured in my egg whites, added some mozz cheese and a liberal douse of Tabasco and voilà!

Admittedly, this is not a photo of my meal – mine was slightly less photogenic. Things went awry when Missy Baxter tried to eat the homemade chocolate chip cookie dough I’d just made, and I had to leave my egg-based creation unattended over open flame…whatevs, it still tasted great, and I had a grapefruit to go with it. Bon appétit, indeed.

Speaking of Français, my parents stayed here last night. I’m stuck wrassling over cookie dough with the dog while they’re sipping champagne in Champagne.

:|

Lastly, Grindhouse Killer Burgers opened a new outpost yesterday, conveniently located on Piedmont in Morningside, complete with liquor license and patio, not to mention their famously awesome burgers. BP & Pantalones – we can hit that up for Friday lunch.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 8 Comments »

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