Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

That’s Enough Advice, Bark Twice

Posted by AllieB on April 14, 2011

For my third advice column, I’m doing actual questions asked by actual people…ish. I liberally paraphrased the following questions from multiple convos with multiple people, but I can do that because I call the shots around here.

Dear BBT,

I want to meet new boys – where/how can I do that?

-Single and Ready to Mingle

Dear Never Refer to Yourself as “Ready to Mingle” Again,

Service projects! Philanthropic social events! match.com! Irby Avenue!

I really have no idea. But what I do know is this: leave :| at home – no one wants to talk to Flat Face.

Dear BBT,

My friend is such a drama queen and I really don’t think I can take it anymore. I don’t want her to think I don’t care, but I also don’t think I can handle another second of her bitching and moaning. Thoughts?

-End of My Rope

Dear Join the Club,

Take it easy, JtC – being dramatic about another’s drama helps no one…I think lots of times people just go thru phases where they have their head so far up their own ass that they don’t know up from down. Maybe take a little breather – go invisi on gchat, hang out with a different group of friends for the weekend…sometimes space is the best medicine.

This is not good advice – space is the best medicine?? I really don’t know what to say…YOU’RE a drama queen.

Maybe I’m not as good at the wisdom imparting as I thought. I think I’ll stop now.

It’s just as well, anyway, because Zirkle #3 shared with me an amazing blog that is equal parts fascinating and terrifying – not only in subject matter, but also re: the domepiece of its creator. There’s obscure…and then there’s morphing famous celebs with Steve Buscemi’s eyes.

Anne Hathaway + Steve Buscemi's eyes = nightmares 4 life

I am repulsed, yet I can’t look away. There are so many awesomely horrible ones…Heidi is a favorite,  and the Kardashians…here – have a gander: Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Boundaries 101

Posted by AllieB on April 13, 2011

YES!!! J Simps is talking in public again. She’s one of People’s Most Beautiful People for 2011, and, in the grand tradition of throwing herself under the bus whenever a potentially positive situation presents itself, she offered this sound bite in her interview:

Being well-endowed since sixth grade, the blonde bombshell points out that “there’s no way to hide them as much as you want to bandage your boobs down.” Simpson, 30, has since learned to embrace her chest as her “best accessory,” telling PEOPLE, “Now I can make my way in and out of parking tickets: Show the girls and give a wink!”

We get it: you have big boobs. This is not brand new information and now is certainly not the time to draw attention to the fact… Yes, you are attractive and I’m sure people in Middle America find you endearing, but your marketable appeal is more that you run a billion dollar fashion company that basically prints money. So…please stop talking about “the girls.” Really. Just stop.

This week’s Do Not Want features a completely creepy new trend called the “Cuddle Party.”

A Cuddle Party is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment….this playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection…a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.

How unpleasant. I’m sure Cuddle Party Rule #1 is meant to assuage my discomfort, but WHY ARE THEY IN THEIR PAJAMAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.

Let’s play Would You Rather: would you rather attend a Cuddle Party for five minutes, or drink a cocktail of three-day-old chili and dip spit. I would choose the latter twice, perhaps thrice, over a CP. I really think I would.

Sister gets credit for Cuddle Party (you would), and I read about the chili/spit concoction in the WSJ a few weeks ago – this jokester Livian Hernandez is a catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and sipping on sludge is the least of his shenanigans. He once ate 11 bananas in four minutes. Shenanigans, I tell you!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Yumbii in my tummy…

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2011

Yumbii Far Out Food, parked today at the Prominence Office Building in Buckhead, served up two of the best, most fresh and flavorful tacos I have ever had. The food truck features Asian-Mexican fare, and, while I knew it was going to be good, I didn’t know it’d be that good.

There was no line, and the service was very friendly and fast. I went with pork (per Danielle’s suggestion) and the chicken. Two made a more than adequate lunch – they definitely load on the meat, but because there’s just a sesame salad as topping and no cheese (which even I didn’t miss), it’s not like overwhelming. The chicken, I think, was my favorite of the two, with an Asian flavor akin to kabobs (I love kabobs). The tacos are $2/each – a veritable steal.

I realize how effusive my praise sounds, but I get really excited about tasty food. The website and Twitter page provide frequent updates about location and even line length. For now, their weekly lunch locations are: Buckhead Tuesday and Friday, Atlantic Station on Wednesday; Midtown Mile at Woodruff Arts Plaza (there’s a whole food truck bonanza there on Thursdays).

Yumbii is owned and run by Atlanta native Carson Young, who teamed up with Hankook Taqueria over on Collier Road to bring these delectable lunchtime treats to the streets. The Atlanta Street Food Coalition is working to make permits more readily available to vendors across the city, and I wholeheartedly support their mission.

taken from yumbii.com - I took a picture of my own, which looked exactly like these do, but the lighting in my office didn't do them justice...

Friday: it’s a date. I must acquaint myself with other menu items. I can’t wait for Tex’s Tacos to open – the cheese fries, in particular, caught my eye…food trucks are my new favorite thing.

I am reminded of Led Zep’s classic hit, Ramble On….

Disclaimer: I hope I got my facts right – I sometimes unintentionally take liberties on BBT, so please point out any erroneous details.

Posted in Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Bummer

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2011

Well, this is really too bad. Old Britney vs New Britney. Sick Dance Moves vs Are You Sick? Dance Moves. Wow, You Are an Awesome Dancer vs Wow, You Were an Awesome Dancer. Moonwalk vs Electric Slide. J Simps Newlyweds vs J Simps Employee of the Month. Allie vs Hilary. If it ain’t broke but then you break it, you can’t necessarily fix it….whatevs, you get my drift; it’s not good.

You do NOT need sound to appreciate her rump shakin booty awesomeness/slightly less awesomeness.

I will always, always love B Spears…but…at some point everyone has to retire and hang up their nude-colored bodysuits – Glory Days don’t last forever. From PopDust by way of NYMag.

Today my horo began with this:

Who wants to order the prix fixe dinner when you can belly up to the buffet table?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – these people have got my number. Elle.com -> best horos ever.

Today I am trying out the Yumbii food truck because I have never been to it and have been dying to go. I love tacos! Also, it is their day in Buckhead, so it’s convenient. Holla!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

I love kabobs

Posted by AllieB on April 11, 2011

Hallo. Let’s jump right in – hope everyone had a glorious weekend. I, of course, did. Tonight I’m hanging out with the Cali Baxters – my aunt, uncle and cousins who live in Novato, CA of whom we do not see enough. We’re having kabobs for dinner. Kabobs are my favorite.

Happy late bday to CCHaynes!! I wish we had written down the concoction we made yesterday, twas truly delightful: refreshing, tasty, and not altogether harmless…

Anyway, you know me and my relentlessly optimistic self – always someone worse off, always a silver lining, etc….well, here’s some sunshine for ya. Ho-hum about your job? Sick of sitting at a desk, maybe just kind of wishing for a change-up? Handle THIS: (source Bureaucratics: Photographic World Tour of Desk Jobs from Flavorwire.com)

from flavorwire.com

Bummer. This young woman, born in 1982, works in Yemen in the regional office of the Ministry of Tithing and Alms. Her salary is US$67/month. I’m gonna guess there’s something of a dress code, as well…things are lookin up!

Thanks for the self-esteem boost Happy Birthday, Alessandra Ambrosio! I wonder what it’s like to turn 30? Guess I wouldn’t know…hope it works out for ya. Yeah, there’s really no way to level this playing field. Those Brazilian women really raise the bar. Don’t you have that ‘kini, Sis?

Guess I’ll be doing spinning today, and also looking into a new diet called ‘Fasting.’

I went to Rosebud this weekend in Viriginia Highlands and tried out the owner’s new endeavor, The Family Dog, located right across the street. It was very crowded but very promising. I had a Moscow Mule, which is apparently just white hot right now – I heard about it weeks ago from MC, who is always on the cutting edge…I don’t really branch out much re: bar beverages, but this was delish. They have a full menu, and I don’t know what’s on it but I did see some pork rinds covered in cheeto cheese going by…obviously I will be returning to try those out. BBT Says: positive first impression, need to go back.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

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