Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

Posted by AllieB on July 12, 2011

Actually, I’m not entirely sure I would – crack is very addicting, you know, one hit and you could be a goner…but that’s what Gwyneth said at some function last week. I think Gwynnie is trying a little to hard to be kewl – another snippet from the same event:

“I drink constantly while I’m cooking,” she says. “Wine, either colour.”

Now that is radical.

So, the whole Casey Anthony thing is over and done with (until her tell-all novel/reality show/perfume comes out – eau de Car Trunk…? (that may have been inapprop)), but Nancy Grace’s insanity will forever live on. This video is actually very hysterical because Nancy Grace is such a ridiculous human. Obviously, you need sound, but it’s worth watching.

BBT enjoys the finer things in life, but, unfortunately, Bacchanalia is rarely one of them. Have you ever been? I went once…I’d like to go back, so I entered this contest to win a $250 dinner for two! That would put a decent dent in the bill, I think, so long as I didn’t take Hilary with me. You can enter, too!!! But if you win, you have to take me. Unless you win, Hilary, in which case you will need to tell them that what most consider dinner for two is actually a dinner for uno in your book.Please say a little prayer for Missy Baxter today…she’s having surgery for these lump things that are actually pretty icky and I’m glad she’s getting them removed…anyway, she’s going to have to have a doggy cone and she’s going to hate it. Missy doesn’t like conical accessories.

Happy Tuesday. Have you VOTED FOR BBT YET?!? If you haven’t…well….

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Too soon?

Posted by AllieB on July 11, 2011

I have a very exciting proposition for you….like, it’s huge. I realize the timing of this request is not ideal, what with that whole pesky virus issue (again – CURED)….but hey, stuff happens. Anyway, every year Creative Loafing does a very thorough, very in-depth Best of Atlanta list. They cover basically everything there is in ATL, from dive bars to best high school to BEST BLOG. I think you can see where I’m going with this…VOTE FOR BBT!!! How cool would that be to win…or even make the top 5. BBT’s not even a year old, so my aspirations are lofty, but I figure I’ve got nothing to lose – plus, BBT is the best blog in Atlanta, IMO, so it really just makes sense. It’s very easy, here’s what you do:

  1. Go to the survey page
  2. Register (unfortunately you have to sign up – it takes all of three seconds and all it asks is for your email and you can opt out of any newsletter stuff…so don’t let that hold you back)
  3. To have your answers count, you must fill in at least five categories. This, also, will take you no time at all.
  4. The “best blogger” and “best blog” categories are at the very bottom of the first page
  5. Write in “Allie Baxter” and then “Baxter Bark Twice” or www.baxterbarktwice.com, respectively

All done! You can also vote for Tex’s Tacos as the best food truck while you’re at it – that’s on page 4 – and Scout for the Home as best boutique (page 5)

Thanks in advance. BBT 4 eva!!!

It was Missy’s first beach vacation, and I’ve never seen such pure, unmitigated bliss…

weeeee!!!
Not pictured: Stanton. Photography: Stanton.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

I’m so happy

Posted by AllieB on July 8, 2011

J Simps has come out with a new fragrance. It’s called: I Fancy You.

I am not kidding, that’s what it is called. I imagine hundreds of conversations, worldwide, following a similar script:

That’s an interesting perfume…. What’s the name of it? (So I know what NOT to buy)

“I Fancy You.”

Er, well, that’s nice – but I really just wanted to know what the name is of the perfume you’re wearing.

“I Fancy You.”

FINE nevermind.

It’s just awkward.

Here a few distractions to mediate the agony of a Friday afternoon in the workplace:

I’ll be back on Monday, so you can kiss the half-ass posts siyonara…

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Our country tis of dunce

Posted by AllieB on July 7, 2011

America is 100% the best country in which to live. Watching the fireworks on Monday night, I couldn’t help but be filled with pride, patriotism, and pure love for all things USA. When the crowd around us started cheering during the cacophonous finale, I felt my eyes start to well up a little….God Bless America. In that same vein, America’s Team is dominating – GO BRAVES! (The Braves will always be America’s Team in my book…)

That said, we have our failures. I get that Casey Anthony can’t serve life in jail just because it’s obvious that she’s a murderous Tot Mom – there has to be evidence and blah blah and whatever, you can’t go around putting people in jail based on common sense, but I don’t have to like it.

BBT’s favorite author, Bill Bryson, has detailed a dissimilar yet nevertheless alarming compilation of ways in which America fails – specifically, the failures of its citizens. I share with you below excerpts of an article entitled, “Well, Doctor, I was just trying to lie down…” that I finally found in full text on the internet. (I’ve been goog’ing the damn thing for over a year, and I finally got my search query right because I FOUND IT. It was the best day…)

Here’s a fact for you: According to the latest Statistical Abstract of the United States, every year more than 400,000 Americans suffer injuries involving beds, mattresses, or pillows. Think about that for a minute. That is almost 2,000 bed, mattress, or pillow injuries a day. In the time it takes you to read this article, fourof my fellow citizens will somehow manage to be wounded by their bedding.
 
Consider this intriguing fact: Almost 50,000 people in the United States are injured each year by pencils, pens, and other desk accessories. How do they do it? I have spent many long hours seated at desks where I would have greeted almost any kind of injury as a welcome diversion, but never once have I come close to achieving actual bodily harm.
 
So I ask again: How do they do it?… In 1992 (the latest year for which figures are available) more than 400,000 people in the United States were injured by chairs, sofas, and sofa beds. What are we to make of this?… Have we become exceptionally careless sitters? What is certain is that the problem is worsening. The number of chair, sofa, and sofa bed injuries showed an increase of 30,000 over the previous year, which is quite a worrying trend even for those of us who are frankly fearless with regard to soft furnishings. (That may, of course, be the nub of the problem-overconfidence.)

I will never find that not funny…Clearly I’m still on vacation, but I wanted to keep up the momentum.

Two VERY important pieces of information re: BBT’s peeps:

1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MCL!!! I can’t wait to see you in tha A in a couple of weeks. I am tempted to put up the photo of you straggling up the beach in 2k5, but I’m not that mean…nor will I link to your ramen recipe. Instead I’ll just give you an awkward hug via the interweb, and an even more awkward one in person.

2. TINA IS ENGAGED!!!! Oh, happy day. This is my new favorite photo ever, in the history of all photos. LURVE.

 

 

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Extreme Makeover: BBT

Posted by AllieB on July 6, 2011

We’re baaaaaacckkk!!!!

First, allow me to once again apologize for the virus that some people caught from BBT. Hackers are the hate, and I’ve gone through great lengths to ensure that I am no longer susceptible to any kind of hijacking.

Thanks to the diligence and endless patience of SRM, I’m back in action, and better than ever, IMO. I am liking the new look/feel…a little more sleek with a certain je ne sais quoi, oui?

I don’t even know where to start…plus I’m on vacation, so I’m a bit muddled in the dome.

  • Casey Anthony – total nonsense; my favorite commentary on the day was regarding the heightened elevation of Nancy Grace’s sui watch. I MEEAAAANNNNN….
  • Varasano’s is really stepping it up: they have half-off wine on THURSDAYS (practically unheard of), and last night they had a deal where you got bottomless wine and either a Nana or Margherita pizza with bottomless wine for $19.99. That is a steal, especially for two people…..I imagine it’s encouraged to be spread out betwixt a duo.
  • Princess Kate, dare I say it, is toeing the line of emaciation. I swear this isn’t just jealousy talking (it’s only like 70% jealousy), but she’s starting to look a little weathered in the face and a little tendon-y in the bod. God forbid she isn’t getting enough nourishment – what would come of her glorious hair?! Do take a minute to look at the 11 photos prior to the one I linked – she and Wills really, really like each other. It’s adorbs!
  • I’m very out of practice. Blogging, it turns out, is not at all like riding a bike or driving a stick shift…it’s more like….something that you get the hang of with practice and then feel clueless when you don’t do it for awhile and try to do it again.
  • At least I have my eloquence.

This new layout is making my posts seem much shorter…I feel like I should call it a day and not force it, but this looks so weenie…

OH! On notice: LEANN RIMES. She’s been annoying me for ages but I haven’t wanted to dignify her behavior/ugliness with a post…well, lucky for her I’m very rusty and am in desperate need of material, so Leann: you suck. She hasn’t NOT been photographed in a bikini for the past three months. She’s a butter-face and then some – her male-bod kind of freaks me out…I guess as long as she keeps on her sunglasses, she’s not a total disaster….

I watched the sun rise this morning. It was neat.

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

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