Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Wake up and smell the gardens

Posted by AllieB on August 6, 2012

I am wary of two things*: outer space and Craigslist. The first makes my head hurt if I think about it for too long, because seriously – how?!, and the second is a well-known haven for predators and freakshows of all kinds, and I’d be just plain foolish to not be on guard. Right now I’m selling my car, and I’m sure to always have someone with me when I meet people, and I also have my uncannily intuitive gut intuition – it’s possible I even have a sixth sense of sorts, so I feel pretty good about spotting the psycho killers right away….anyway, I received this email last week re: purchasing my car.

I have a very nice Rolex submariner cobalt blue dial worth 6200 A emerald diamond 18k gold worth 4000 and a little cash if interested.

Hey, thanks but no thanks. My gut says: SCAM!!! I’m telling you, it’s a sixth sense…

The Olympics are still happening. I haven’t been watching all that much, to be honest, but the daily round-ups by Vanity Fair blogger Michelle Collins supply me with pretty much all the info I need. She’s pretty funny…

“Diving is an insane sport. It’s like watching people repeatedly rehearse their own suicide.”  – BBT says: TRUTH

A waiter claiming to have served 15 top officials of the International Olympic Committee posted a copy of the receipt online, and it’s pretty standard:

You’ve got your exotic fruits, some sorbet (a gentleman always cleanses his palate), and 19,000 pounds’ worth of Hennessy. – BBT says: that’s not a bad tip.

In my other Olympics segment today we revisit some of the greatest gems and pearls tweeted by swimmer Ryan Lochte, who has emerged as a very talented athlete with a shockingly low I.Q. and an extreme inability to assemble words together in a remotely sensical manner. I guess he’s spent much of the last two years in a gym/hurling tires/skateboarding, which doesn’t necessarily lend itself to interaction with people on a social level, but…come on, dude. This is some pretty basic stuff.

 “Always reach for the moon cuz if u slip up u will still be a star!!#Jeah“

“Rocks, paper, siccor……..”

“Too travel is sometimes better to arrive!”

“Pain is temporarily, but pride last forever”

“Can u catch lightening in a bottle and set the water on fire?”

“Wake up and smell the gardens”

Huh? And from what device is he tweeting that wouldn’t auto correct “siccor”??? The slideshow has 25 tweets, and I honestly wanted to include all 25…but you can check them out for yourself here. They’re all amazing. However, in spite of this…assault on the English language, I gotta say – I wouldn’t kick him out of my lane…if you get my drift.

He reminds me of Forrest Gump.

*I am wary of more than just those two things, but they were the two most relevant what with the Mars landing today and all. A close third would be tornadoes. I leave you with this: a picture of BBT’s favorite Duchess – I swear she’s getting cuter by the day.

Have a great week! Don’t forget to reach for the moon and remember that pain is only temporarily.

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Seattle: The Sunshine State

Posted by AllieB on July 30, 2012

Should you find yourself planning a trip with me that includes flying on an airplane, do yourself a favor and don’t. Or at least book a different flight; it’s become glaringly obvious that I am the proverbial black cat of air travel. Exhibit A: the woman who died on my plane to my France. That sucked. I know it was way worse for her, obviously, and her loved ones, but it was no picnic for yours truly, either. Exhibit B: my flight to Seattle last week. I was in an exit row, enjoying the leg room and another chilling Lisa Gardner mystery, when I heard a loud thud. I didn’t even look up – I already knew I wanted nothing to do with what was happening. Sure enough, a woman had passed out standing up and fell down, breaking her pelvis in the process. Having no medical background, I didn’t feel the need to join the crowd gathering around her, and I figured someone had to man the exit row anyway…I’m not totally useless in emergency situations, but I’ve learned that sometimes it’s best to just stay clear of the fracas. I guess Exhibit B isn’t so bad, and had I been sitting elsewhere on the plane I probably wouldn’t have even known about the incident, but that’s kind of my point – I always seem to be in close proximity to ground zero of the trauma.

Anyway – Seattle! Great city. We even had awesome weather, which is kind of unheard of given there is some sort of precipitation 220 days out of the year. Bleak. Here are some pics. Neat.

Vistas! Elliot Bay; Space Needle at night; Mt. Ranier

if you don’t love sea otters, you are probably dead inside

I tried on Avatar shoes at an Avatar exhibit – they fit perfectly :|

The end. It was great having all six of us together, and I even got to see NANDI – good times, y’all, good times…

Now I have to move out of my apartment, and I have no idea where to start. Moving is the worst. Does anyone want to buy a couch/table/bed/dresser/another table/rug/rug again/arm chair? A, the tv’s got your name on it…let me know.

Oh. I was WILDLY incorrect re: my crush on Ryan Lochte. Retract!!! In spite of winning first place on Saturday, he is nevertheless a complete and total LOSER. I think it surprises no one that he lives in…wait for it…Gainesville, Florida. He would. And it gets worse! I just goog’ed Ryan Lochte grill and it turns out he has several and has been wearing them at medal ceremonies for years – it seems that custom-made bedazzled grills are his “thing”…I just threw up a little.

“Yes, I am wearing one in London, and I wear them because they are different and fun. That’s my personality,” Ryan told USA Today.

And on that note, I bid you farewell. Take solace in the fact that, no matter how mis your Monday is, at least you’re cooler than this guy. You might not be in as good shape as he is and you probably have fewer Olympic medals, but you’re definitely cooler.

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The end of just so many eras

Posted by AllieB on July 25, 2012

Honestly, I’m glad I’m moving because too many things are changing around here. I don’t prefer change unless I instigate it, so when people suddenly start doing things that they haven’t previously done, I do not respond well. You may move, A and K, when I tell you you can move. Pants, you may purchase a home when given my stamp of approval. Erika, why did you come to Atlanta when you clearly should be in NYC – come with and we can continue our overly aggressive fun and breezy Saturdays there. I DO NOT PREFER CHANGE.

K and A are moving out of P’tree Mem, and, frankly, I am devastated. I didn’t realize they’d lived there for five years, so I suppose I understand relocating, but I do not like it. I’m glad y’all are moving into the same building and I’m glad, A, that you’re buying a sofa called the Kennedy, but that doesn’t make up for all the memories. A lot of stuff went down at #3 P’tree Mem; attention must be paid.

MEMORIEEEEES: Feb Bdays 2008 (?); A and K; BBT’s bday 2009

K, I find great humor in the fact that we’re both moving in with our parents for the month of August and, that, in a wonderful alignment of the stars, it just so happens that the Olympics are on. K and I were the #1 fans of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and for two weeks straight you could find us sandwiched in her living room easy chair eating Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, cheering on the gymnastics team (KERI STRUG), and bird dogging Bob Costas. Looking back, I’m not real sure where that Bob Costas obsession came from…we were 12; whatever.

I’m seriously very excited about the Olympics: I love the swimming and gymnastics and track and field, and most of all I love the behind-the-scenes stories about the athletes and their heart-warming tales of hardship and eventual triumph complete with the fuzzy camera and melodramatic soundtrack….I love it. I even downloaded an Olympics app.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I am not a fan of The Bachelor/ette and I’d rather go play in traffic then sit through an episode of either/or, but even I took note of Emily Maynard’s wardrobe. She’s totally fake and ridiculous, but whoever was in charge of getting her dressed did a great job, even if her outfits were a little too outfit-y. You, too, can dress like Emily (credit: Lauren K. of the Q+DD) thanks to the vigilant research of The Possessionista. I think Emily went a bit far with the plastic surgery – she looks like a less intelligent Heidi Montag, something I heretofore did not think possible.

If you’re a Neiman Marcus devotee then you’ve already seen this, but the 2012 pre fall book featured a random Los Angeles vs Atlanta bit, and The Shepherd Center, an establishment many of us hold near and dear, got a pretty cool shoutout…Caro, if I don’t stop talking about you on this thing, people are going to start to wonder….

I also appreciate the H&F mention…I’m going to miss H&F…

That’s Tina and me being funny with the cured meats/pig carcasses at HF. I’m prematurely embracing my nostalgia; sorry I’m not sorry.

Enjoy today! Yesterday was National Tequila Day, but you can pretend like it’s National Tequila Week if you want.

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Top 10

Posted by AllieB on July 13, 2012

When Lucy Chastain, owner of Xanadu Fine Art, a boutique art consulting firm, asked me to do a list of My Favorite Things for her company blog, I said, “sure!” And here it is. If you’re a devoted BBT reader, none of this will be brand new information…but for the sake of having two posts this week instead of one: happy reading.

1. Beverage: a summer time Shandy (credit; Carol Harrell). I like this southern (read: red-neck) spin on the English cocktail: light beer and frozen limeade. The alcohol content is very low, and it’s so refreshing – a perfect daytime, poolside beverage:

4 light beers to every can of frozen limeade. (I like Bud Light and Minute Maid Limeade).

Pour beer into a bowl, add limeade, mix. Voila.

Don’t let an aversion to watery light beer keep you from trying this tasty treat, but if you’re not convinced, I also love Moscow Mules (Esquire’s recipe).

 

2. Beauty: Oscar Blandi Dry Shampoo. The best of the best in this ever-growing market…everything else is just a knock-off.

3. Monthly Read: Vanity Fair. I love this magazine – it’s like the perfect hybrid of The Atlantic and People.

4. Trend: Neon. I’m not big on color, but I’ve come around on this…in small doses. Props to El and Caro for embracing neon so enthusiastically: respect.

Essie: off the shoulder

5. Dining: I love everything that has become the Westside in Atlanta – particularly the shopping (Free People, Anthropologie, Jonathan Adler) and the dining (JCT, Abattoir, Taqueria), but right now my favorite spot is The Optimist Fish Camp & Oyster Bar. It’s the newest venture from owners of JCT and No. 246 and is a great spot for cocktails, food, socializing…and maybe a few more cocktails. I actually wrote up a little review and posted it on Yelp – for reals, check it out. 

Photo from Atlanta Dish

6. Exercise: Flywheel/Flybarre. It’s as great as everyone says.

7. Travel: Australia. I studied abroad here in college and I look forward to going back someday. The Whitsunday Islands in between Sydney and The Great Barrier Reef are home to the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever seen, Whitehaven Beach in particular. In fact, it was recently named The Cleanest Beach in the World as well the Top Eco-Friendly Beach…so it’s got that going for it, which is nice.

The cool thing is that this is not a picture from Goog, but from my point and click disposable – it had like negative pixels and you can still tell how incredible this place is.

8. Easy Appetizer: Manchego cheese with honey. I fully intend to start cooking more one of these days, but til then I make-do with easy dishes that require zero preparation. This is a sure thing with pretty much any crowd – just be sure you have enough cheese.

To serve: One large piece of Manchego (I asked the guy at Whole Foods for a milder variety – there are several) on a platter with a bowl of honey for dipping/drizzling.

I suggest a cheese board and serving dishes from Scout for the Home.

 

9. Shop: Zara. I’ve never met a white blouse I didn’t like, and Zara always has several different styles at great  prices.

And it’s on sale! They’re having a huge sale right now, you should probably check it out. This actually pretty much sums up my uniform: jeans + white blouse.

10. Best Kept Secret: Full Cup Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies. They’re not even that bad for you – there’s no refined sugar or processed flour, but you’d never know it to taste one. I’m kind of a cookie snob, especially when it comes to chocolate chip, and I usually only like the homemade ones, but these are definitely an exception to the rule.

Honorable Mentions: pizza, Pour la Victoire pumps, Ryan Lochte, Game of Thrones, Lights by Ellie Goulding

This might be the most boring list I’ve ever read/written. That’s too bad, considering it’s about me…

Happy Weekend!!

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When the teacher becomes the student…

Posted by AllieB on July 9, 2012

Restaurant Spreadsheet: UPDATED. I made the new additions blue and the coming soon items yellow. I think I’ve got everything on there that should be on there – feel free to politely point out any omissions. I don’t know who’s going to take this over when I’m gone – Caro and K are generally (always) very in the know about this sort of thing, but I’m not sure they’d do it.

***ATLANTA RESTAURANT SPREADSHEET – JULY 2012***

I’m a little uncomf at the notion that I’m going to live in a place where I don’t know things and where I routinely get very lost. I am very well acquainted with Atlanta and where to go and what to do. I like to know stuff, and I’ve served as a resource for many who are too lazy to utilize the wonder that is Google friends – from where to dine to where to buy a top hat (Costumes, Etc.. off Cheshire Bridge), I tend to know what’s what around the Dirty. With NYC..not only do I not know much, I specifically struggle. I’ve never been able to wrap my head around where things are in relation to one another, like neighborhood-wise. When I visited Allison in Winter 2k10 I made a conscious effort to get hold of a map and try to sort out the neighborhoods. Fail. Every time we walked out her door, I instinctively turned in the exact opposite direction of where we were going. Then I’d try to figure out how to get back to her apartment – sure enough, off I’d go towards oblivion. I get that the Lower East Side is on the lower east side, and I also comprehend that the Upper West Side is on the upper west side, but I lose all sense of direction when I’m in NYC – up seems down and vice versa. Soo…wish me luck! The good news is that there are a lot of apps for NYC navigation, a few of which I’ve gone ahead and downloaded…always be prepared is not only the Girl Scout’s motto, it is also mine. I’m not a total moron, and I know people who kind of are who’ve managed to get around up there, so I think I’ll be ok…right? Seriously, wish me luck.

help.

I’m not going to really touch on the TomKat break-up because it’s not a break-up when a contract runs out and the two parties involved go their separate ways as was planned seven years previous, but I enjoyed this pop cultural gem: snippets of Joey Potter’s self-deprecating humor that are extremely applicable to her – Katie Holmes’s – current situation.

Dawson: “Here I am. Single, sandwiched in between two women who both dumped me. I am pathetic.”
Jen: “Hey, look at me, I’m dating a bible thumping hypocrite, okay?”
Joey: “Hey…my boyfriend may be gay.”

Well, not sure there’s any “may be” about it, but it’s still a totally cRaZy parallel. At least she got Suri out of the deal.

This week’s to do list:

1. go see Savages - WSJ really liked it, and they never like anything

2. sell my car

3. sort out/giveaway my clothes

4. make some money (babysitting?? petsitting?? I’m your girl. Call me.)

5. read fewer disturbing books so as to improve slumber – I read a lot this weekend and every book involved discomforting story lines pertaining to children. If you’re looking for a night rife with horrible dreams, then by all means check out The Neighbor by Lisa Gardner

XOXO

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