Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for the ‘Princess Kate’ Category

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Not only is your fly open, there’s a pencil sticking out of it

Posted by AllieB on January 30, 2013

I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I am skipping around in a field of daises full of leaping puppies with cheesesteaks and red wine as faaaaar as the eye can see. And it’s not just today – lately I’ve found myself seeking out interaction with pretty much any and everyone – I never realized how much more interesting the day is if you talk to the guy at the bodega, or whomever. (NOTE: I would never - even if I’d just won the lottery and found out J Simps is giving birth to triplets - EVER initiate conversation with strangers  on the subway or train. That’s like the public transportation equivalent of a sanctuary.) On Friday, for instance, I talked to a guy in the elevator. He was wearing a suit, and he told me he didn’t know why he wore suits on Friday, but that it probably had something to do with his Catholic school upbringing. I agreed and then suggested that perhaps that explained a lot of other things as well – oh, but did we laugh!

There are myriad reasons as to why I am Animated (Annoying?) Allie today:

1. I’m going to AUSTIN on Friday!! Not only have I never been there, but I’ve never even been to Texas! Plus, I did some thinking, and this is my first non-wedding-related, non-family trip that I’ve taken since 2007, the occasional random lake/mountain/beach weekend notwithstanding. I guess I mean the first trip I’ve taken that required flight and days off. We’re staying here, dining here, and doing whatever else we please. BOLO for Insta-overload.

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

*Oops. This is a rendering and not a picture. Thanks, Hilary – I guess this is what it feels like when someone corrects your grammar. The website is much cooler, you can go to the link above if you want to see it in all its splendor. Looks like I got schooled by the internet.

2. I move into my apartment tomorrow. I am the world’s WORST mover and I seem to be continuing my streak. At least I’m not slinging furniture down several flights of stairs and doing twelve – TWELVE – trips between my apartment and parents’ home to move all my crap. That was last summer, and that was the worst. This move is pretty much all clothes, and I’m shipping most of it. Assuming UPS picks up my boxes and they can be delivered to my apartment without me being there. I fear this could be a flawed system and it’s possible I’ll be wearing the same clothes for a week while I figure out what they’ve done with my items.

totally under control

My room on Monday – totally under control

3. These are back:

kate for the win

4. Amazon is sending me new sunglasses AND giving me credit for the order they messed up…twice.

Jabroni - nope; Bug Eyed - who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

Jabroni – eek; Bug Eyed – nope, but who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

The ones I want are a combo of those two…normal lens, normal size. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love Amazon.

5. This Jack Donaghy insult generator – also credit for today’s title. We’re gonna miss you Liz Lemon.

6. Truf.

i-heart-ny

 Oh yeah. Happy Birthdays to Kara & Courtney! Remember when we all went to Trois like six years ago? Memories…

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Mediocre at Best

Posted by AllieB on January 6, 2012

I’m not really one for late night talk shows, but the other night I watched The Best of Conan – that wasn’t what it was called, but that’s what it was – and it was hilarious. I even made notes in my archaic smartphone device about the particularly funny segments so I could share on BBT. The first is a commercial for the world’s most expensive toilet. I guess you don’t technically need sound, but I just watched without it and it was much less funny…retract: you do need sound.

The other note I made to myself was “Newt owes Tiffany money” and I have no idea what I was talking about, so I guess that’s it.

Yesterday was a fun day on BBT. I think I’ll do more flow charts in the future – I’ve just barely dipped my toe in the wonder that is Power Point, and I think I like it.

The Duchess Catherine of York – Princess Kate – turns 30 on Monday!! It was this time last year that my obsession fondness for her was just heating up…I wish she could get married every year. According to NYMag, her birthday party is going to be 80’s themed!! I’m a bit confused as to why that long-torsoed Pippa left me off the guest list…wtf, Pippa? I really took the whole Kate thing to a new level on BBT…it even has its own category…looking back, I’m thinking that the “single white female” comments were not so much jokes as expressions of concern. If you’d like to take a trip down memory lane, I suggest “Hair Emergency” – not only do I discuss the gloriousness of Kate’s (and my own) hair, but I also rain some truth on J Simps and Taylor Swizzle. Good times.

I think I need to expand my horizons….but not today. Happy weekend!!! Keep it classy like Liz Lemon.

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Hi.

Posted by AllieB on June 27, 2011

I don’t have a lot for you today…I could go on a diatribe about how much I hate Comcast and the fact that my cable/internet has been out for four days and that I am MISSING THE PREMIERE OF WEEDS TONIGHT as a result, but that’s no fun…oh, how original: I hate my cable provider.

I could also rant about the weather and how insane it is – that’s brand new information.

Or, mayhaps, I could regale you with how much I love the library. Due to the aforementioned cable outage, I cannot work from home and it’s wrenching everything and am thereby forced to do my work at the Buckhead Branch – my fave. Kayruh is sitting across from me. Hi, Kayruh.

As a last resort, I might throw in the intervention I had to have with myself last night re: grilled cheeses. Actually, I don’t think I will get into that…but the Duchess of Windsor certainly helped (I can’t bring myself to include the image on the post – the juxtaposition would be too unfair. It was taken earlier today – she went to see a match at Wimbledon.)

This week, BOLO for: a new page detailing BBT’s book recommendations (a page akin to the restaurant guide), a survey (my post on Friday gave me an idea…!), and some other awesomely awesome stuff.

Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week.

Your horoscope for the week.

I cannot stop listening to this song; if I’m in my car, it’s on repeat.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

FREE NONNIE

Posted by AllieB on May 25, 2011

Elizabeth Shue, Christina Applegate and I have had some crazy times in child tending.

I should preface by saying: I don’t necessarily love to babysit. I like kids – I love kids! – but I like them better when I’m not in charge. I’ll tell you, it’s this hard-to-get mentality that makes them so fond of me…they can sense my disinterest, thus I’m the immediate go-to for games/fort building/freeze tag, etc. Maybe this hard-to-get thing isn’t a myth…??

I digress. The reason I bring this is up is that I’ve been chatting with my sister and Lacy and Skin and others recently about the pros and cons of taking care of other people’s children, and a certain story came to mind…

I had a weekly babysitting job every Tuesday. There was a Mom and a Dad and two trouble-making boys. Seriously, HUGE troublemakers….every week, the rents would go to Bible study and I’d watch over Christopher and Patrick and the basically dead cat, Maggie (this cat would occasionally let out a wail akin to Michael Finnegan’s last breath – terrifying).

One evening, about 6 weeks into the gig, a grandmother appeared from behind a door that I had never noticed, much less opened. Oh yes, it was their Nonnie. Nonnie had been LIVING IN THE BASEMENT for “years and years,” and no one ever told me about it. I mean I’m here like 3.5 hrs every week, and no one thought to mention the elderly person living downstairs. What if there was an emergency? What if she fell down and couldn’t get up? These are legit scenarios that I ought to be prepared for…

She did seem very nice and wasn’t at all offended by the legitimate scream with which I greeted her upon entering the living room where I was innocently watching my second favorite CW show at the time, Privileged. (That Joanna Garcia just can’t get a break, can she – she may have peaked with Reba.) She apologized for disturbing me, got herself a glass of water, and retreated downstairs…I was quite shocked – it just would’ve been nice to know about her existence, is all.

The parents got home and were very apologetic, but totally in the wrong way: “We’re SO SORRY, did she bother you?? We told her to STAY DOWNSTAIRS.” I’m a little scared that Nonnie was punished for daring to venture beyond her…prison? I don’t know. People are weird – this is why I prefer pet-sitting to people-sitting…dogs might be crazy, but it’s usually in a very endearing way…case in point: Missy Baxter. (credit: Family BBM Chat)

So, that happened…

My girl crush on Kate is more out of control than ever: how fetchingly glorious does she look at this meet & greet with President and First Lady Obama?! I guess spending 10 days in the Seychelles does wonders for one’s tan/hair/overall amazingness.

Source: NYMag

Dani – this is why I prefer to keep my posts short…but I did it for you :)

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

A Cinderella Story

Posted by AllieB on May 19, 2011

Let’s check in with Kate. She and William went to the North Island of the Seychelles for their honeymoon and it cost $720,000. Sounds about right. This place looks nice, I think I might go there for my honeymoon, also – my honeymoon with Prince Carl. Meanwhile, Pippa is galavanting around Europe with ex-boyfriends, taking off her ‘kini tops, and being an attention monger in general. I say good for her: she’s just having a good time, letting loose – she deserves some attention, her sister just married a Prince for crying out loud. I can even forgive her long torso.

The story below was cut and pasted from an email chain just this morning. The referenced evening actually took place some time ago, but it’s fun to relive every couple of months. Let’s call her Tabitha* – Tabitha is a hoot. To accomplish these feats on a single Thursday evening, well…it’s impressive.

That was a great Thursday night. I know it started off with pitchers of margs at el azteca then trivia at churchills then downhill slide at 5p. The sandal just slipped right off my foot, as did my purse from my arm at some point that night. I woke up with only my phone. Luckily, the Papa Johns website had my credit card info stored so I was able to order some pizza to tide me over til others got off work. Then my dear friend Anonymous Boy went to 5p and retrieved my purse but couldn’t find my shoe. He showed up at my apt with a list he had started making at work of things that he was supposed to bring to me. I have recreated said list below.

1. Purse
2. Vodka
3. Shoe
4. Jello

Everything was crossed off the list except shoe. Fail.

Fail, indeed.

*Name has obviously been changed. BBT only throws strangers under the bus, unless it’s Hilary, and clearly I know no one who goes by the name “Tabitha.”

Looking for something to do tonight? Someplace to go enjoy this glorious spring weather? Say no mas: come to The Ivy at 5:30 and have the most fun you’ve ever had.

“I work until beer o’clock.”
— Stephen King

You and me both, Stephen King. You and me both.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

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