Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for the ‘Celebs’ Category

What did I say.

Posted by AllieB on March 1, 2011

Stupid Lindsay Lohan. I was Team LiLo for so long – why, I don’t know, I have this unfailing need to believe in even the most under of underdogs. But even underdogs prevail at some point – Lindsay is just an idiot. Had she managed to not steal a necklace a month after she got out of rehab, perhaps she could’ve been on this season of Dancing with the Stars. Like a gazillion people watch that show, and I guess I haven’t really seen it jump start any careers, but it certainly hasn’t hurt any. Anyway, due to her inability to not take what isn’t hers, LiLo got passed over and now we (or those who watch it – seriously, I seriously don’t) are forced to handle KIRSTIE ALLEY tango-ing her way across the dance floor in not enough clothing, trampling her poor partner in the process. And Hines Ward is on it?! That seems odd. Although the football players do tend to fare fairly well. Other dancers include Lil Romeo, Kendra, and I don’t know I got bored reading the list.

Last night I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom/wall to wall/nook to cranny and it is positively gleaming. I washed my sheets, fluffed my feather bed, FLIPPED MY MATTRESS (yeah I did), dusted, mopped, vacuumed, Windexed, Febreezed…and, to reward myself, I had a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. I slept so well that getting up this morning was borderline impossible, and I think I’m a little cranky as a result.

To wrap things up on a more positive note, the Fur Bus is fur-tastic, un-fur-gettable, fur-bulous…, and I’m going to go write a testimonial on their website right now. I don’t know why we don’t do this more often – it is really fun and also practical! For the 24-seater it was only $40/person for four hours, plus the driver was very accommodating and there are these railings on the ceiling so you can move around and stand up without falling all over the place. It just makes good sense. Plus, I got to wear some of my Jabroni gear – I mean, what’s not to like.

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Incoming

Posted by AllieB on February 1, 2011

I’ve always liked Hugh Jackman and now I love him. I’m also possibly reconsidering the Hollywood talk that he might be gay because this is just about the biggest straight guy move I’ve ever seen. See below as Hugh and his daughter, Ava, enjoy a casual play date at the playground.

source: wwtdd.com

Hugh: Hey, Ava! Over here!

Ava: Yeah, what’s up D- BOOM.

I’m pretty pleased with celebs of the male variety, across the board: I just read in US Weekly that Justin Bieber checks into hotels using the pseudonym “Chandler Bing.” I LOVE Chandler Bing! I’m even more of a Belieber than I was before – and props to him considering he was born the year the show first aired. Also, I can’t wait for Chandler’s (Matthew Perry) new show, premiering next Wednesday, Feb 9, Mr. Sunshine – it looks very funny.

Chandler: I’m sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a fifty year old woman?
Ross: She didn’t look fifty!
Chandler: Did she look sixteen?

-The One with the Rumor

Lastly, apropos of absolutely nothing, I share with you this adorable photo of the Baxter Fam that I’m guessing is from c. 1990 based on our ages and my mom’s Laura Ashley frock. Charlotte and I are in our P’tree Pres Praise Kid Choir t-shirts because we both had the dream of one day being soloists. You can imagine how that panned out (it didn’t). I bet my dad would never deck any of his daughters in the face with a snowball…not intentionally.

Credit: Lissa!

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A girl crush and a girl I’d like to crush

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2011

Dear Genie in a bottle or similar,

I have three wishes for today/this afternoon. Let’s see what we can work out.

  1. I wish I looked like Minka Kelly because she looks awesome in these pics for her new movie w Leighton Meester (can’t wait to see!), and AND she is Tim Riggins’s dreamweaver on FNL. I think I would really enjoy being his dreamweaver. Heeeey, Minka. First Mila, now Minka…I guess I have a thing for long-haired brunette beauties who have weird two-syllable M-names. Minka might be kind of boring, actually, but I’m still carrying my torch for Mila.
  2. I wish that Season Two of Nurse Jackie was on Showtime OnDemand
  3. I wish that Jessica Simpson would refrain from tweeting about her fiance’s “perfect Tush.” And I really really wish that, when I goog’ed “Jessica Simpson Tush,” I hadn’t learned about a song entitled Push Your Tush that J Simps wrote for her 2006 album, An Epic Fail A Public Affair. I really hate being such a jerk when it comes to Jessica, but she really brings out the curmudgeon in me and I get very frustrated with what a dope she is. Here are some lyrics. This is embarrassing.

My head feels like it might explode…I think the last stanza really did me in. Maybe I should wish for a greater understanding when it comes to the exhausting behavior of idiot celebrities on my next wishlist. Speaking of idiot celebrities, LiLo is out and about and looking well…! Wishing you only the best, LiLo…see look – I can be nice.

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

The results are in, amigo. What’s left to ponder?

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2011

It’s all happening…!

The rumors have been circulating for years – years! – but the confirmation has finally been confirmed: the sequel to Zoolander will be released in 2012. This is not exactly brand new information, but I am pleased to know that they are making progress. The script is finito and Ben Stiller even shared some basic plot details (credit: NYMag):

“Now the studio has the script and we’re at that point where we’re waiting to see what they want to do. It’s ten years later and most of it is set in Europe. I don’t want to give away too much, but it’s basically Derek and Hansel ten years later – though the last movie ended on a happy note a lot of things have happened in the meantime. Their lives have changed and they’re not really relevant anymore. It’s a new world for them. Will Ferrell is written into the script and he’s expressed interest in doing it. I think Mugatu is an integral part of the Zoolander story, so yes, he features in a big way.”

That really is a cool story, Hansel.*

Girl Talk did not disappoint; it was awesome! We had seats in the balcony – by far the best in the house. Except for the fact that the balcony was moving…a lot…like bouncing up and down. This concerned me a bit, but, upon further examination, I realized that the people below us would actually be much worse-off should the balcony collapse, so it was fine. I also nearly pushed Sister over the railing – ACCIDENTALLY – but that definitely would’ve put a damper on the evening. Sorry, without any irony. I’ve been noticing a flux in thoughts of the macabre ilk, recently…might need to check on that…

BOLO for a balcony!

*Zing.

Posted in Celebs, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Here’s what’s happening in your world tonight

Posted by AllieB on January 20, 2011

Good afternoon. This weather sucks.

BUT! Treehouse has deigned to join the rest of the free world in the Groupon et al craze, and for only $8 you can get $20 worth of food and/or booze without any restrictions! Click here for the deal; it’s only available until midnight.

Thanks for throwing us a bone, Treehouse. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve stopped going in protest against their refusal to offer happy hour specials or Recession-friendly deals, but really – it’s about time. Maybe I should buy a few more…

I’ve grown tired of picking on Boobs Legsly, and Jessica Simpson seems to finally be heeding my advice by going out in public less, so I’ve been forced to find a new target for my celebrity ridicule. Taylor Swift…COME ON DOWN! Newsflash: your relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal was total baloney. Write your little ditty about picking apples in New York and sharing pumpkin spice lattes or whatever you need to do to mourn the loss of your fake – not to mention gay – boyfriend, get your platinum records and Grammy’s and make your millions, but for the LOVE OF GOD leave US Weekly out of it.

What the crap – how are you so boring. Just looking at you makes me want to take a nap. The only thing that could make you more boring would be doing something like not serving alcohol at your 21st birthday and having platters of cookies instead. Oh, wait…..

Girl Talk is tomorrow at the Tabernacle! If you don’t have tickets you’re probably S.O.L. unless you want to fork over $100…fortunately, I do not fall into that category, thanks to Leila, and have been accumulating glow sticks for weeks. I’ve also been preparing for my transition to Dance-Floor Allie by way of nightly stretching and some solo head banging – it’s like I’m the White Swan morphing into the Black…..except not because that would freak everyone out. DANCE PARTY!!!

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »