Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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That is brand new information.

Posted by AllieB on July 27, 2011

Newsflash! Kristen Cavallari and Jay Cutler broke up…that’s actually sad – he seems normal and she’s less annoying now that I only read her tweets and never have to hear her speak. Plus she just did a photo shoot of her in all these wedding dresses…ok, everyone has seen SATC: don’t do a PHOTO SHOOT featuring you in a wedding dress before your wedding. Counting chickens, jumping guns, etc…tabloids are brutal, aren’t they: “TRAGIC wedding dress photos.” Ouch. At least she looks really pretty…

Oh, it’s not such a newsflash, People has been reporting this since Monday. Well, no one told me.

I don’t like doing current events, even of the celebrity ilk…but I do like saying “Newsflash!”

I was on a run this morning, and I had a random thought that interrupted my counting (I don’t listen to music, I count – it’s good practice): maybe Casey Anthony didn’t drown my puppy, but it is really insane that she is serving zero days in jail. I mean, I know that is like the opposite of a newsflash, but it’s very troubling to me. CCHaynes – did you see her in the Caribb?? I hope I run into her somewhere; I would call Leila Ann Nancy Grace immediately.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m considering a switch from The Today Show to Good Morning America. Ann Curry is the WORST morning host ever, from her “joking” about slang for “breasts” (as awk as it sounds) to her interview with the most recent Congressional of Medal Honor winner: upon hearing his incredible story she succinctly and sensitively said, “Amazing. Pretty darn amazing.” I could do better than that…Kathie Lee could do better than that.

Word of the day:

hoary (adj)

-tedious from familiarity; stale

-ancient

-grey or white with age

That mean old witch puts the ‘hoar’ in ‘hoary.’

(wordplay)

No? You try.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

Posted by AllieB on July 12, 2011

Actually, I’m not entirely sure I would – crack is very addicting, you know, one hit and you could be a goner…but that’s what Gwyneth said at some function last week. I think Gwynnie is trying a little to hard to be kewl – another snippet from the same event:

“I drink constantly while I’m cooking,” she says. “Wine, either colour.”

Now that is radical.

So, the whole Casey Anthony thing is over and done with (until her tell-all novel/reality show/perfume comes out – eau de Car Trunk…? (that may have been inapprop)), but Nancy Grace’s insanity will forever live on. This video is actually very hysterical because Nancy Grace is such a ridiculous human. Obviously, you need sound, but it’s worth watching.

BBT enjoys the finer things in life, but, unfortunately, Bacchanalia is rarely one of them. Have you ever been? I went once…I’d like to go back, so I entered this contest to win a $250 dinner for two! That would put a decent dent in the bill, I think, so long as I didn’t take Hilary with me. You can enter, too!!! But if you win, you have to take me. Unless you win, Hilary, in which case you will need to tell them that what most consider dinner for two is actually a dinner for uno in your book.Please say a little prayer for Missy Baxter today…she’s having surgery for these lump things that are actually pretty icky and I’m glad she’s getting them removed…anyway, she’s going to have to have a doggy cone and she’s going to hate it. Missy doesn’t like conical accessories.

Happy Tuesday. Have you VOTED FOR BBT YET?!? If you haven’t…well….

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

I’m so happy

Posted by AllieB on July 8, 2011

J Simps has come out with a new fragrance. It’s called: I Fancy You.

I am not kidding, that’s what it is called. I imagine hundreds of conversations, worldwide, following a similar script:

That’s an interesting perfume…. What’s the name of it? (So I know what NOT to buy)

“I Fancy You.”

Er, well, that’s nice – but I really just wanted to know what the name is of the perfume you’re wearing.

“I Fancy You.”

FINE nevermind.

It’s just awkward.

Here a few distractions to mediate the agony of a Friday afternoon in the workplace:

I’ll be back on Monday, so you can kiss the half-ass posts siyonara…

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Extreme Makeover: BBT

Posted by AllieB on July 6, 2011

We’re baaaaaacckkk!!!!

First, allow me to once again apologize for the virus that some people caught from BBT. Hackers are the hate, and I’ve gone through great lengths to ensure that I am no longer susceptible to any kind of hijacking.

Thanks to the diligence and endless patience of SRM, I’m back in action, and better than ever, IMO. I am liking the new look/feel…a little more sleek with a certain je ne sais quoi, oui?

I don’t even know where to start…plus I’m on vacation, so I’m a bit muddled in the dome.

  • Casey Anthony – total nonsense; my favorite commentary on the day was regarding the heightened elevation of Nancy Grace’s sui watch. I MEEAAAANNNNN….
  • Varasano’s is really stepping it up: they have half-off wine on THURSDAYS (practically unheard of), and last night they had a deal where you got bottomless wine and either a Nana or Margherita pizza with bottomless wine for $19.99. That is a steal, especially for two people…..I imagine it’s encouraged to be spread out betwixt a duo.
  • Princess Kate, dare I say it, is toeing the line of emaciation. I swear this isn’t just jealousy talking (it’s only like 70% jealousy), but she’s starting to look a little weathered in the face and a little tendon-y in the bod. God forbid she isn’t getting enough nourishment – what would come of her glorious hair?! Do take a minute to look at the 11 photos prior to the one I linked – she and Wills really, really like each other. It’s adorbs!
  • I’m very out of practice. Blogging, it turns out, is not at all like riding a bike or driving a stick shift…it’s more like….something that you get the hang of with practice and then feel clueless when you don’t do it for awhile and try to do it again.
  • At least I have my eloquence.

This new layout is making my posts seem much shorter…I feel like I should call it a day and not force it, but this looks so weenie…

OH! On notice: LEANN RIMES. She’s been annoying me for ages but I haven’t wanted to dignify her behavior/ugliness with a post…well, lucky for her I’m very rusty and am in desperate need of material, so Leann: you suck. She hasn’t NOT been photographed in a bikini for the past three months. She’s a butter-face and then some – her male-bod kind of freaks me out…I guess as long as she keeps on her sunglasses, she’s not a total disaster….

I watched the sun rise this morning. It was neat.

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

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