Baxter Bark Twice

GROUP DINNERS!!! Who doesn’t love having a meal of food with 18 people at a long, rectangular table and being stuck at the end, relegated to a corner with the dunce and the doofus, and then getting a check for $80 when you had a salad and shared a bottle of $25 wine (and possibly a martini – but still, that’s clearly too much. (Unless your martini was made of gold, as the margarita at Varasano’s is. $17.50 is the price for a 4 oz tequila beverage…just so you know…order accordingly.)) Well, per this Handy Guide shared with me by OD, How to Split a Check, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles at group dins. (If you’re 25 and older – if you’re under 25 and you’re reading this…well, isn’t that nice for you.)

Now, the observant among you have read this, processed it and realized that in a group-dining scenario, one is effectively incentivized to order lavishly and imbibe irresponsibly, because not everyone else will, and thus what you end up paying will be disproportionate to what you actually owe, meaning that you make out like a bandit while your schmuck pals who exercise restraint in the name of fiscal responsibility end up subsidizing you. This is correct!

I don’t really love group dinners. Unless we go to Treehouse and Bethenny splits the check as we order – I always appreciate that. Rory at Paul’s does that, too. Also, be advised, not eating and only drinking at restaurants doesn’t do you much good. If you’re really trying to save $$, bring vodka disguised in a water bottle and order club soda. I’M KIDDING that’s pathetic – don’t do that. Everyone will stare at you in disdain and someone might even ask you to leave. If the situation is that dire, stay home. Wisdom: imparted.

Why does no one have house parties anymore? Jeez. Lindsay, maybe we need to be telling more people about your beer pong table that folds up into a briefcase.

RUMORS!! Unbeknownst to me, there have been rumors circulating that J Simps is pregs – she’s aggressively denying them, of course…It’s not for me to say, obviously, but this picture may or may not be the reason why…

Source: Daily Mail

And Leo dumped Boobs!!! Muuahahahaha. That’s what you get for being desperate to be Mrs. Leonardo DiCaprio.

Evidently the niceness of yesterday was a one-time thing.

Happy almost Bday, BBT! Un día más